I Swear I Still Hate Him (Atlas Lawson) novel Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Emery’s POV

Twenty seconds.

Twenty. Freaking. Seconds.

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Sophie’s voice echoed in my head like a broken record. I could still see the way she held up that damn stopwatch, her brows raised like I was some beginner trying out for the junior team.

I stared blankly at my notebook.

“Hey, you good?” a voice asked gently.

I jumped in my seat, snapping out of my fog. My heart thudded as I turned to find Jazz sitting beside me, her brows raised and lips tugged into a slight, knowing smile.

“Yeah…yeah, totally,” I said way too fast, waving my hand like it could erase the heat rising in my cheeks.

She tilted her head, then looked down at my notebook. My eyes followed hers.

Oh god.

I’d written “20 seconds” over and over, across the whole damn page like I was trying to summon a demon.

I quickly flipped it shut, laughing nervously. “I’m fine,” I lied, even though I could feel my stomach still churning with embarrassment.

Jazz raised a brow but didn’t call me out on it right away.

A beat passed.

“Okay, I’m not fine,” I blurted out, my voice quieter this time. “I’m mortified. I’ve never…ever, been told I was slow. I mean, maybe five seconds I could’ve swallowed, but twenty? It’s bad. Like, so bad. And I just wanted to fit in here. Now I’m the creepy cupcake girl who got smoked on her first try.”

Jazz smiled, her nose crinkling. “Emery, you are definitely not a reep. No one thinks that.”

I gave a doubtful look.

“Seriously,” she said. “First days suck. Everyone’s nerves are all over the place. I threw up twice, on mine.”

I blinked. “Wait, really?”

“Oh yeah. In the locker room and then again behind the vending machine.” She gave me a wink like it was her badge of

honor.

Despite myself, I let out a small laugh. Just a little one.

The professor walked in, slapping a thick textbook onto the table like it was an anvil, immediately quieting the room.

Jazz pulled out her iPad, shooting me one last glance before class began. “Don’t beat yourself up. You’ll be fine.”

I smiled, a real one this time. “Thanks, Jazz.”

But even as I opened my book, Sophie’s voice still lingered in the back of my head.

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Chapter 11

Twenty seconds

Ugh

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Thankfully, Jazz and I were both studying Econ. That alone felt like the universe cutting me some slack. I mean, of all the girls on the team, I was so freaking glad it was Jazz I clicked with. She was sweet, helpful, and didn’t make me feel like an

intruder.

She’d even helped me catch up on some notes I missed, shared class tips, and even gave me the inside scoop on the rest of the team.

“Sophie might seem intense,” Jazz whispered, scrolling through her iPad, “but she’s not as scary as she acts.”

Hmm. I’d believe that when Sophie smiled without it feeling like a challenge.

“She just takes practice seriously. Like, seriously, seriously.”

I nodded, stylus tapping against the edge of my iPad. “Got it. Don’t mess with the Captain.”

Jazz smirked. “Exactly. Oh, and Meg?”

I looked up, ready.

“Hates sweets. Like, full-blown ‘don’t bring cupcakes near me’ level of hate. She’s more into sour stuff, lemon candy, vinegar chips, weird stuff like that.”

I literally highlighted that note.

“Sam’s allergic to fur,” she added. “No pets, no fuzzy blankets, no Halloween costumes with tails. Total sneeze-fest.”

“Noted,” I said, scribbling away.

“Lisa…”

I paused, stylus hovering mid-air. “Yeah?”

Silence.

I glanced at Jazz, expecting her to continue, but she wasn’t looking at me anymore. Her eyes were focused straight ahead, zoned in like a sniper.

I followed her gaze… and instantly regretted it.

Atlas.

Ugh.

He sat a few rows up, arms spread across the back of his chair like he was posing for a damn magazine. Surrounded, of course, by a mix of his hockey teammates and a group of girls who looked like they belonged on a fashion runway.

I groaned under my breath, dragging a hand down my face. “Seriously?”

Jazz grinned like she’d just unwrapped a present. “Okay, but like look at him.”

“I’d rather not.”

“He’s so effortlessly hot, it’s annoying,” she whispered. “The jawline? The hair? And don’t even get me started on that body

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Chapter 11

boy, I can’t even imagine how good he’ll look naked.”

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“Oh my goodness, you sound like a walking thirst tweet,” I said, rolling my eyes so hard I was scared they might get stuck “He’s literally just a guy.”

She ignored me. “A guy with a six-foot-something frame, annoyingly perfect hair, high cheekbones, brains, and manners. Tell me that’s fair.”

“Totally fair,” I said flatly. “Universe really nailed the overachiever blueprint with that one.”

Jazz clutched her cup of coffee like it was giving her life. “And he’s so sweet. You know Lacey Green, right? She said Atlas held the door open for her last week and called her ma’am.”

I snorted. “He called her ma’am, and that’s supposed to be swoon-worthy?”

She leaned closer. “She said it was the sexiest thing that’s ever happened to her.”

I blinked. “Girl needs higher standards.”

She ignored me completely. “And then Taylor, remember the brunette cheerleader with the extensions, was bragging about how Atlas gave her four orgasms in one night.”

My hand froze mid-tap.

Jazz leaned in, eyes wide. “She said he was so good, she couldn’t walk straight. And his dic…”

Before she could finish, I reached over and plucked her donut straight from her hand, stuffing it in her mouth mid-sentence. “This flavor is amazing,” I said quickly, way too loud. My cheeks were already heating.

Jazz blinked at me, surprised, then bit down and chewed. “Mmm..” she groaned, eyes fluttering shut, “this is actually so good.”

I forced a smile, relief washing over me. Thank God she didn’t notice my mini panic attack. The very last thing I needed was for her to start detailing Atlas’s dick.

I rubbed my temple, trying to block the thought out. Because, unfortunately, I’d already gotten a glimpse. Not on purpose. Not willingly. But enough of a glimpse when I’d walked in on him and Redhead Barbie that night to know it was a memory that wasn’t going anywhere.

I shook my head like I could rattle the image loose. “Nope,” I muttered under my breath, staring down at my iPad like econ graphs could save me.

Atlas got up from the table, teammates laughing around him as they passed by. Not even a glance my way… Perfect.

Flashback: This Morning

“I need you not to act like you know me.”

Atlas had blinked at me, confused. “What?”

I stood there, arms crossed, heart thumping faster than I wanted to admit. “I don’t want anyone knowing we’re…connected. So, just act like I’m some girl you bumped into on campus once Cool?”

He leaned against the doorframe of his room, an apple in his hand, half-eaten. His brow lifted, amused. “Sure thing, Goldie.”

“Don’t call me that.”

He grinned, one of those calm, unreadable Atlas grins, and took nother bite of his apple before disappearing into his room like I hadn’t just asked him to pretend we were strangers.

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Chapter 11

Flashback Ends

Okay, maybe I hadn’t been totally honest about why I didn’t want to be associated with him.

It wasn’t about him.

It was about everyone else.

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Back in high school, when people found out Atlas and I weren’t just classmates but that our parents were dating, things got…insane.

Suddenly, I was the unofficial messenger girl for every girl crushing on Atlas Lawson.

“Is he single?”

“What’s his favorite color?”

“Do you have his number?”

“Can you tell him I think his jawline is life-changing?”

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