I Swear I Still Hate Him (Atlas Lawson) novel Chapter 114

Chapter 114

Emery’s POV

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Laila stared at me in silence, and with every second, my heart pounded louder, waiting for her reaction, but not the reaction I expected, because she was laughing… why was she laughing?

“Oh my goodness,” Laila said, wiping a tear from her eye. “That, my friend, was a good one. You’ve got to be really good…fuck, I actually thought you were cloping with Atlas.” She said, still chuckling.

She kept chuckling, like it was the funniest thing she’d heard all year.

I didn’t laugh.

I didn’t even smile.

I hated how she said eloping, like it was some ridiculous, impossible thing. Like a joke I was supposed to be in

“Okay,” she said, catching her breath and brushing her hair back from her face. “Now, seriously, what’s really going on?”

I didn’t say anything.

Didn’t have to.

My silence did all the talking for me.

Her expression shifted. The laughter faded. Her brows pulled together like she was trying to piece together the puzzle I just dropped in her lap.

“Shit… you’re not joking.”

I looked down, fidgeting with the bracelet on my wrist.

“Okay, okay…let me get this straight,” she said, voice rising. “You’re eloping. With Atlas?”

“Can you not yell?” I hissed, glancing around. The lakefront wasn’t packed, but I still didn’t need any eavesdroppers tonight.

“Emery…” she breathed out, hands flying into her hair. “Oh my god, no. No, no, no. This is not it. This is wrong… you can’t just do that.”

“Why?” I snapped, sitting up straighter. “I love him. He loves me. What, so we just keep sneaking around? Keep hurting our parents?”

“No,” she said, frustrated. “But eloping isn’t the answer either! What about your dad? How do you think he’s gonna feel when you just… disappear?”

“He’ll understand.”

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Chapter 114

“Emerald.”

I flinched at the full name. She only used it when she was either emotional or furious.

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“And it’s just for a while,” I said, trying to stay calm. “When things settle, when the drama dies down, we’ll come back. We’ll explain everything. But right now, this is the only way…”

“Do you even hear yourself? What about school? Swimming? You’re not going on some weekend trip with Atlas, Em. You’re talking about moving to God-knows-where with barely a plan! What, you think you’ll just drop your entire life like some cheap old rom-com?”

“Just stop!” I snapped, slamming my palm against the table so hard heads turned to look, but I didn’t care.

Laila froze.

My chest heaved. “You’re supposed to be my best friend. Not judging me.”

“I am being your best friend,” she fired back. “If I wasn’t, I’d shut up and nod along and pretend like this isn’t a huge, messy, life-altering mistake.”

I stood, throat tightening, tears stinging my eyes. “You know what? For a second, I was excited. I thought maybe…just maybe…I could share something that made me happy with you. But all I got was judgment.”

“Emery…”

“No, Laila. You’ve said enough.” I grabbed my phone and bag, voice barely holding together. “So much for being Team Emery.”

I didn’t wait for her response. I didn’t look back.

My feet moved on instinct, fast and clumsy and pissed, but I didn’t care where I was going. All I knew was I needed to get away…away from her, from the lake, from the truth I’d said out loud.

I should’ve kept it to myself.

I should’ve stayed in my damn room.

****

“I found this small university in Nova Scotia,” Atlas said as we sat in the back of his truck, parked right by the lake. “It’s got a swim team, nothing huge or fancy, but solid.”

“Mmnh,” I hummed, eyes on the water.

I should’ve been listening. I really should’ve. But my brain kept circling the same damn storm: Laila. The messages. The missed calls. The fight. Her words playing on loop in my head like a scratched record I couldn’t

shut off.

“The town’s quiet, the rent’s cheap, and the place I found has a balcony that looks out over the water. I figured… you could swim,” he continued, voice soft like he knew I was barely there.

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Chapter 114

“Yeah.”

“Also… I didn’t wanna say anything until it felt real, but some scouts were at the last game, Coach told me they’re interested. NHL-level interested.”

“Mmhh.”

A pause.

“And apparently the world’s ending tomorrow and penguins are taking over.”

“Nice.”

Silence.

Then, “Emery.”

I blinked and looked up. Atlas was staring at me, his brows pulled together, worry written all over his face.

Shit.

“I’m sorry,” I said, sitting up straighter. “I wasn’t trying to-my mind just—”

“What’s going on?”

I bit down on my lower lip, fingers curling in my lap. “Please don’t be mad.”

“Never,” he said immediately, reaching for my hand. “You know you can always tell me anything.”

“I… um…” My voice cracked. “I told Laila. About us. About the eloping.”

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I braced myself for the sigh, for the frustration. For something…But instead, Atlas just nodded. Calm. Steady.

“And what did she say?” he asked.

I swallowed. “She said it was a big, messy mistake.”

The words stung more now than when Laila first said them. Saying it out loud made it feel heavier.

Atlas pulled me in, wrapping his arms around me. I melted into him, closing my eyes.

“She’s just worried about you,” he said, gently stroking my back. “That’s all.”

“I know,” I whispered. “But it still stings. Like she thinks I’m being reckless, like I’m not thinking this through. And maybe I’m not. Maybe I am being stupid.”

“Emery.”

I looked up at him.

“If you don’t wanna do this,” he said, “if you’re not sure, we don’t have to. You can say the word, and I swear I’ll

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Chapter 114

understand. No pressure.”

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“No, Atlas.” I reached up, cradling his face between my palms. “I want this. I want you. Sometimes… sometimes you have to take a risk for something you love. And even if it’s messy, even if it’s scary… I know it’s worth it.”

He smiled, and when Atlas Lawson smiles like that…soft and full of feeling, those damn dimples show up, and I swear they make me feel things.

He kissed my palm. “I just hate seeing you down. But give Laila some time. She’ll come around.”

“I hope so,” I said. “I really do.”

I leaned in, brushing my lips against his. “I love you.”

“I love you more.”

I grinned. “Okay, now I’m ready. Full attention. No distractions. Tell me everything.”

He chuckled, sitting back with that proud sparkle in his eye. “So-like I was saying—some scouts were at our last game. Coach told me they were interested.”

“Wait. Seriously?” My eyes widened.

He shrugged, like it was nothing. “It’s early. Nothing signed or confirmed. But… yeah. NHL-level interested.”

“Atlas, that’s huge! That’s amazing! We should totally celebrate.”

He smirked. “And what did you have in mind?”

I slid my hand slowly down to his belt, raising a brow. “Just a little swirl and pump. You know. Dessert before the main course.”

He broke into a grin. “God, I love your definition of celebration.”

“Of course you do.”

“Then relax, baby,” I whispered, voice low, fingers teasing. “Time for a hell of a dessert.”

He groaned under his breath, already melting under my touch. The lake breeze danced around us, the stars twinkled above, and for a moment, nothing else mattered.

Not school. Not Laila. Not the fear or the what-ifs.

Just us.

And in this moment, I knew, no matter how crazy it sounded, this kind of love… this kind of freedom… it was worth it.

****

11:40 Thu, Jan 22

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