I Swear I Still Hate Him (Atlas Lawson) novel Chapter 130

ཏཐཱ ཏpT1) ་ཡ་ ་ རྩྭ

Ciliaples 130

Chapter 130

try’s por

Can & person feet showed happy, and beanbreakingly bad all she same times

Because it that’s new possible, then something is seriously wrong with me

1 just sused there staring at Atlas like my brain had completely

itched off Like if I blinked too hard, he’d disappear. Part

of me desperately wished this was a hallucination, some cruel trick my heart was playing on me.

The other part of me was so glad it wasn’t

He looked exactly the same of course, he did, it had just been sig days, yet it felt like eternity. Atlas opened his mouth. dearly about to say something.

Tom’s voice cut in before Atlas could get a single word out.

I didn’t even look at Tom, but I could feel him step forward beside me.

“Wow.” he repeated, louder this time, like volume might help him process what he was seeing.

Atlas blinked, confused.

Tom stuck his hand out enthusiastically. Way too enthusiastically

“You’re beautiful,” he said, completely starstruck.

I flinched.

Tom froze, eyes widening like he just realized what came out of his mouth. “I…uh…sorry. That was….wow. Not how I meant that. I mean, you are….but…” He cleared his throat hard. “I’m Thomas Park. But you can call me Tommy. Everyone does. Well. Most people.”

Atlas glanced at me, eyebrow slightly raised.

Tom barreled on.

“And if you don’t mind me asking, and you absolutely can mind, that’s totally okay…have you ever considered modeling? Because I really believe you’d be…”

“Tom.”

I finally tore my eyes away from Atlas just long enough to look at him.

“Yes?” he said, hopeful.

“Could you please excuse us?”

He hesitated. Looked between Atlas and Me. Read the room. Poorly. Then nodded.

“Oh. Yeah. Sure. Totally. Of course.” He started to walk away, then abruptly turned back, fumbling in his jacket pocket. “Sorry…one more thing…”

He shoved a business card into Atlas’s hand. “My number. Just in case. For… modeling. Or, you know. Life.”

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Then he spun around and practically sprinted out of the lobby e dence that followed felt loud. I swallowed my harts

ting at a sides Atlas was still standing there

Sill real sull here

And suddenly, I weren’t sure which part of me was shut to breakfirst.

I was about to say something when Atlas suddenly closed the distance between us and pulled me into a hug

1 froze

My arts stayed stiff at my sides even as my eyes burned and tears blurred my vision God I had missed this Missed him Missed the way his arms wrapped around me like the world couldn’t touch me when he was close

Atlas held me tighter, one hand gently cradling the back of my head.

“God, I’ve missed you.” he whispered.

My hands lifted, instinctively wanting to hold him back, wanting to cling to him the way I used to, but I stopped myself halfway, fingers curling into my palms.

How could a hug hurt this much? Not physically. Emotionally. Like something inside my chest was cracking open.

“Atlas” I said softly, his name coming out like it hurt to say it.

He pulled back, still smiling. “Yeah?”

“Why are you here?”

I watched the smile slowly fade from his face, confusion replacing it.

“I came for you,” he said.

“Why?”

He frowned, clearly thrown. “What do you mean, why? You left so suddenly, and it just…” He shook his head. “It didn’t feel right. None of it felt like you.”

“And you thought showing up like some knight in shining armor would fix that?”

The confusion in his face deepened, and it hurt more than I expected, watching the hurt slowly creep into his beautiful gray eyes. But if I softened now, even for a second, I would completely fall apart. And I couldn’t afford that.

I took a step back, putting space between us, needing it to breathe.

“Em…. what’s going on?” he asked, his voice quieter now.

“What’s going on is I got recruited by an entertainment company, and I’m…”

“That’s not what I mean,” Atlas cut in, taking a step closer. His eyes never left mine. Then, softly, almost afraid, he asked, “What happened? Did my mom say something? Rory?”

“No!” The word came out sharper than I meant it to.

He flinched slightly but didn’t back away. “Then talk to me,” he said. “Because I’m completely lost, Emery.”

I swallowed hard, my chest tight. “You want to know the real reason I left? Fine. I’ll tell you.” My voice shook despite my effort to keep it steady. “I despise you, Atlas.”

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13:19 Tue, Feb Tu

Chapter 130

His eyes widened. “What?”

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“Every time I look at you, I blame you,” I said, the words tearing out of me. “If I hadn’t met you. If I hadn’t fallen for you. Maybe I wouldn’t be here. Maybe my legs would still work. Maybe I’d be one step closer to my dream of becoming an Olympic gold medalist.”

My voice cracked. “That dream is shattered. And every time I see you, I’m reminded of it. I blame you for that. Which is selfish, and unfair, and I know it is, but I just…”

The rest of the words died in my throat.

Because sweet, kind Atlas was standing right in front of me, his thumb gently wiping away the tears I hadn’t realized were falling

“It’s okay,” he said softly. “You can blame me. I’ll take the blame. Just… please don’t cut me off.”

I closed my eyes, my throat burning from holding back everything I wanted to say.

Of course, I didn’t blame him. If anything, I was grateful for the love we had, for the way he made me feel seen and whole. It wasn’t just love. It was everything.

But I needed him to let me go.

And the only way to do that was to break his heart badly enough that he’d stop chasing me.

Even if it meant shattering my own in the process.

Like the universe couldn’t give a damn about my feelings, the rain started falling suddenly and heavily.

Atlas lifted his hands instinctively, trying to shield me from the downpour. Water ran down his hair, across his face, but he still managed to give me a small smile.

“Let’s go,” he said.

Two simple words.

Simple… but they carried so much weight. Every part of me wanted to say yes. My heart screamed it…say yes, go with him, stop this before it’s too late.

Instead, I took a step back.

“You should leave.”

“Emery… please don’t do this,” he said quietly, rain soaking through his shirt. “Whatever this is, just talk to me. Please.”

I clenched my fists at my sides, forcing my voice to stay cold. “Oh my God, Atlas, can you be any more pathetic? I’m not coming back, so stop begging. It’s embarrassing. I just told you I despise you.”

“That’s not true,” he said softly. “At the observatory…”

“I was horny, and you were convenient,” I cut in, the words tasting like

1. “Let’s just move on from it.”

The moment I said it, I saw it, the crack in his eyes, the quiet way the pain settled there. I bit the inside of my cheek so hard 1 tasted blood, hoping the sharp sting would keep the tears from falling. Thankfully, the rain hid everything.

Atlas gave a small nod, his jaw tightening. “Take care, Emery,” he said, his voice steady even though his eyes weren’t.

Then he turned and walked away.

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