I Swear I Still Hate Him (Atlas Lawson) novel Chapter 148

Chapter 148

Emery’s POV

Staring into his eyes, I knew my answer in a heartbeat.

Yes. Don’t go. I need you.

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Say it. Emery, Say it before you ruin everything. Say it before he walks out that door and you spend the whole day jumping at shadows like a scared kid. My lips parted. My chest tightened And then….

“No.”

The word came out soft, but it still felt like a slap.

Dammit.

Atlas didn’t move. Didn’t blink. Just watched me like he was waiting for the real answer to come out after the lie. I rushed forward before the silence could swallow me.

“It’s fine.” I said quickly, waving a hand like I was casually turning down the most ridiculous offer ever. “You should go. I mean… wouldn’t I be selfish asking you to stay knowing how imp it is for you to be there?”

I didn’t wait for him to respond. Because I was terrified he’d say something sweet. Something protective. Something that would melt me right down to my bones and make me beg him stay like I had zero pride and even less self-control. did what I always did when I was about to break.

I joked.

“And let’s not even get started on your fans,” I added, forcing a high that came out a little too breathy. “They’d literally curse me out if they knew I stopped their precious Captain from showing up in San Francisco,” I shrugged, trying to sound light. “I can already picture them camped outside with posters like ‘Als Lawson saved my life’ and ‘sign my forehead, king.””

I attempted another laugh. It sounded… questionable. Like a dy squeak pretending to be humor. Atlas didn’t laugh. He stayed quiet, his eyes locked on my face like he was reading between every word I was forcing out.

And the worst part?

His expression was so readable it made my stomach twist.

Hurt.

Not angry. Not annoyed.

Just… hurt.

My throat tightened. I swallowed hard and looked away, because if I stared at his face any longer I was going to ruin my own lic.

There was a beat of silence. Then Atlas nodded once, slow, like was accepting something he didn’t like.

“If that’s what you want,” he said quietly, voice flat around the edges, “then fine.”

He took a step back.

Then another. And turned toward his room.

The second he was gone, the air in the kitchen felt colder. Bigge Like someone had turned the volume down on my whole

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12.18 Tue Feb 24 @ M.

Chapter 148

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I stood there, frozen, my heart pounding like I’d just run a mile.

My palms were sweaty. My eyes burned. And finally, when I was sure he couldn’t see me…

I let out the breath I’d been holding. It shook on the way out. Because the truth was…

I didn’t say no because I didn’t need him. I said no because needing him felt like the most dangerous thing in the world.

Before Atlas left for San Francisco, he spent an annoying amount of time making sure I was comfortable.

Like… annoying in the sweetest way.

He kept pacing around the penthouse, pointing at things like he was giving a safety briefing.

“Whatever you need is in the fridge,” he said, opening it like I didn’t know what a fridge was. “The security team’s gonna be posted outside while I’m gone, just to make sure you’re comfortable. And my number’s saved…”

“I know,” I cut in, holding up my phone with a small smile. “Your number’s literally saved as my emergency contact. If I have to call, I will. Okay?”

He paused, eyes on mine, like he was trying to decide if he believed me.

Then he nodded slowly. “Okay,”

But of course he wasn’t done.

“And,” he added, clearing his throat, “I set up my Netflix. Your favorite movies are in a list already. Just… in case you need something to watch.”

I blinked at him.

My heart did that stupid little flutter thing again.

“Aren’t you just the sweetest gentleman?” I teased, folding my arms. “Should I start calling you Sir Atlas the First?”

His mouth twitched into a smile. “Don’t push it.”

I laughed softly, and for a second it felt normal. Easy. Then he stepped closer and pulled me into a hug.

Not quick or casual. He held me a little longer than necessary, like he could sense I needed it, even if I kept pretending I didn’t.

My arms wrapped around him before my brain could argue. His chest was warm. Solid. Familiar in a way that made my throat tighten.

“Okay,” I muttered into his shirt, forcing lightness into my voice. Okay, now leave. You’re making me feel like I’m sending you to war or something.”

Atlas huffed a quiet laugh, but he didn’t let go right away.

When he finally pulled back, it was slow. Gentle. Like he didn’t want to. His hands lingered for half a second, on my arms, my shoulders, like he was memorizing me all over again.

“I’ll be back soon,” he said.

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12:18 Tue, Feb 2400 M.

Chapter 148

I nodded, trying not to let my face show how much that mattered.

“Yeah,” I whispered. “Have fun.”

He gave me one last look, one that made my chest ache, and then he turned and walked out.

The door shut.

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And the silence hit like a wave. I exhaled, long and shaky, my eyes darting around the massive penthouse like it was suddenly too big.

“Well,” I said out loud, forcing a little humor. “I guess we’re alone”

Which was obvious. But whatever. Talking helped. And I tried. I eally did.

Thanks to Tommy, I’d gotten time off from management, so I kept myself busy. I read a book. Ordered Chinese takeout. Scrolled through socials until my brain went numb. Watched a movie Atlas had queued up, even though I pretended I wasn’t touched by the fact he’d remembered what I liked.

For a while… everything felt okay.

For a second, I even convinced myself I’d been overreacting.

Then night came.

The clouds outside turned dark, and the city lights stayed bright glowing through Atlas’s massive wall-to-floor windows like the whole world was on display.

And my body betrayed me.

Goosebumps rose along my arms. My heartbeat started picking up, faster and faster, like it was bracing for something. The thought I’d been trying to bury crawled right back up my spine.

What if he came back?

What if he barged in again, claiming he was a fan, acting sweet, getting close…

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