I Swear I Still Hate Him (Atlas Lawson) novel Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Emery’s POV

There’s something about walking into battle.

55 vouchers

A real soldier doesn’t show up expecting to fail, she shows up dressed to win. Armor on. Game face ready. No fear. Just pure, unshakable confidence.

That’s exactly what I needed tonight.

Because there was no way I was getting rejected. No awkward “pass” when the dare came up. No pity kiss. If I was gonna kiss someone, I was gonna make damn sure he’d remember it.

I’ve got the armor: a black leather dress that hugs like a second skin.

I’ve got the boots: knee-high and unapologetic.

And I’ve got the weapon: my confidence.

I turn slightly, checking my reflection one last time. Blonde curls frame my face like I actually woke up looking this good. Mascara? On point. Nude lip? Flawless. Foundation? Chef’s kiss.

My butt? Even better.

“Damn, I look hot.”

I grabbed my small clutch, took a deep breath, and headed out. Ready for war. Or at least for Duncan’s party.

“Holy sh…Emery Collins?!”

Jazz’s jaw dropped the second I walked up to her car. She blinked twice like she wasn’t sure it was me.

“Hi, Jazz,” I said casually, slipping into the passenger seat like I hadn’t just spent an hour getting every detail perfect.

Jazz leaned closer. “Okay, pause. Where did you get that dress, and how is it legally allowed to fit you that perfectly?”

I grinned. “A friend of mine picked it. Said I needed to go big or go home.”

“Well, you’re definitely going big.”

I flipped my hair over my shoulder. “Just making sure the lucky guy who ends up kissing me tonight doesn’t forget it. Ever.”

Jazz let out a loud cackle and started the engine. “Girl, you’re out for blood.”

“Not blood. Just dignity. I’m not about to be the girl no one want to kiss. I refuse to be the awkward dare fail.”

“You’re literally a walking thirst trap right now. If anything, the Hockey boys better pray they survive.”

I laughed. “Hey, like they say, confidence wins the war.”

“Sir, yes ma’am.” Jazz gave me a mock salute.

I adjusted my dress, checked my reflection in the side mirror, and smiled. Tonight wasn’t about any guy. It wasn’t about feelings or flirting or fate. It was about showing up, showing out and making damn sure I didn’t end up standing there like some forgotten background character when the dare hit.

Let’s go.

1/6

15 04 Mon, Dec 29 GGD.

Chapter 15

EL 55 youstiere

Duncan’s frat house was exactly what you’d expect from a frat named Duncan.

The kind of place that smelled like beer, cheap cologne, and bad decisions.

Music? Blasting like someone gave the speakers cocaine. Lights? lashing like a seizure warning. Couples? Already making out by the staircase-wasn’t even ten yet. And alcohol? Flowing like someone cracked open a fountain of jungle juice.

“Shit,” Jazz muttered beside me.

I turned, brows pulling together. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I just gotta go take care of something real quick. I’ll be right back.”

Before I could ask, she dipped into the crowd, leaving me solo in the lion’s den.

Cool. Totally fine. This was what I came here for anyway. To blend in. To maybe complete a stupid dare. To not get publicly rejected.

I walked deeper into the chaos, holding my head high. I could feel the stares, some quick glances, some obvious ones. Guys nudging their friends, subtle nods in my direction. One guy actually mouthed “damn.”

Okay…maybe the leather dress was a win.

And then, just as I was getting my groove back, a voice slid into my car like a slow, smug whisper.

“Hey… what’s a beautiful lady like you doing alone at a party like this?”

Wait a second, I know that voice…I turned to see…Atlas?

He blinked like he’d seen a ghost. Or worse…me.

“Emery???”

His voice cracked halfway through my name like he couldn’t believe I existed in real life and not just in his recurring nightmares.

I crossed my arms, giving him a flat stare. “You sound shocked.”

“What are you…why are you…?” He rubbed his forehead like he needed to reset his brain. His eyes dropped lower before he caught himself, groaning and pinching the bridge of his nose like that was gonna help.

“Don’t you think this is a little too much for a frat party?”

I rolled my eyes so hard I almost saw my brain. “Yeah, like you weren’t seconds from jumping my bones.”

Atlas blinked, his mouth opening like he had something smart to say, then just gave up and sighed. “I was…that’s not…ugh. Don’t sue me. Your ass looked great.”

I paused.

“It did?” I asked, perking up a little. “I noticed that too. It looks under tonight, right? Like it’s sitting higher or something?”

“Emery.” He groaned, his voice a mix of warning and suffering.

I noticed the tips of his ears were red. Very red. Huh.

Anyway, I ignored it. Obviously.

2/6

15:04 Mon, Dec 29

Chapter 15

“Like I was saying, dressing like this…” he started again, trying to pull back into serious mode

“Wait.” I squinted at him “Did you just compliment my ass?”

He slapped a hand over his face. “Oh great, we’re back on that.”

I grinned. “Which means every other guy here must be thinking I’m hot.”

“Wait What?”

65 vouchers

“But if they see me talking to you….” My voice trailed off as I looked around. And yeah. People were definitely watching. Staring, whispering. Oh god.

WAIT.

Talking with Atlas? In public? While looking this good? No, no, no. That’s bad. That’s like social suicide.

My eyes widened. “Shit. I’m not supposed to be seen with you.”

Atlas looked like he’d aged five years in thirty seconds. “Emery, don’t have time for…”

“No! Stay away from me. Just pretend like you don’t know me. If anyone asks, we were talking about… Econ.”

“Econ?”

“Yes. ECONOMICS. Okay? Like marginal costs or some shit. Got it?”

I didn’t wait for an answer. I spun on my heel and rushed into the crowd, heat crawling up my neck. I could feel eyes still on

I grabbed the nearest red cup and took a gulp of whatever was inside. It burned. Probably vodka. Or paint thinner. Whatever. I needed a distraction…something to help with what was to come.

“Emery, we see you,” Sam smirked as I finally made my way over to the swim team’s corner.

Meg gave a low whistle. “Girl, you look good.”

I felt my cheeks warm, but I smiled anyway. “Thanks, guys… hi, Cap.”

Sophie looked up from her drink with a smile so small it could’ve been imaginary. “Hi.”

Okay. So still allergic to enthusiasm. Got it.

I barely had time to breathe before Sam asked, “Sooo, we saw you talking with Atlas… is that who you’ve got your eyes on?”

“What…EW…no! Never!”

I blinked. All three of them, Meg, Sam, even Sophie, were staring at me like I’d just confessed to kicking a puppy.

“W-what?” I asked, brows furrowing.

Meg squinted. “Wait. You don’t want to make out with Atlas Lawson?”

“Yyyeah?” I said, though it sounded more like a question than I meant it to.

“Wow. That’s a first,” Sam muttered, blinking dramatically.

“I haven’t met a single girl who wouldn’t kiss, or like, offer up their soul, to hug Atlas,” Meg added.

3/6

15:04 Mon, Dec 29 G GD.

Chapter 15

55 vouchers

I tried not to scoff out loud. Okay, yeah, Atlas is… objectively attractive. The kind of tall, broody, jawline-from-the-heavens, annoyingly perfect athlete type. But he also had a habit of pissing me off just by breathing near me.

“Yeah, well… he’s not my type,” I said, straightening my back and hoping my voice didn’t squeak.

“Are you serious?” Sam’s eyes went so wide I thought she might choke on her drink. “Like, actually not your type?”

“I’m more into… um… blondes.” Yep. That was the first lie that fell out of my mouth, and now I had to live with it.

“Oh. Okay. Cool.” Sam didn’t sound convinced, but thankfully, se didn’t push.

Before I could relax, Sophie…of course, spoke up. “Well, here comes your lucky hockey boy.”

I turned just as a tall, broad-shouldered guy with messy blonde hair and an easy grin walked up to Atlas, clapping him on the shoulder.

“That’s Ford,” Meg whispered beside me, nudging my elbow. “Blonde. Handsome. Defenseman. Also… your kiss.”

My stomach did a flip. “Oh… great.”

“Yeah, so go kiss him,” Sam said with a grin like this was the best entertainment she’d had all night.

“Now??” I practically squeaked.

“Yeah,” Sophie said with that same cool tone. Honestly, I was starting to miss when she didn’t talk.

“Or,” she added, tilting her head, “you can choose not to. Totally your call.”

The hell I was backing out.

“No, I’ll do it,” I said quickly, too quickly. “I’ll go make out with the blonde guy. Who is, conveniently, my type.”

Sam let out a whoop. “That’s what I’m talking about!”

I grabbed the nearest red cup from the table and took a long gulp. Whatever it was burned going down, but I didn’t care. If I was going down, I was going down tipsy and in thigh-high boots

I set the cup down and turned to face my fate. Okay. Just walk up to Ford, flash a smile, say something charming, and kiss him like it’s no big deal.

No big deal.

No.

Big.

Deal.

I took a deep breath.

Then whispered to myself, “Please don’t throw up.”

I walked up to Ford like I was walking the runway, head high, back straight, pretending I wasn’t internally screaming.

And oh yeah, everyone was watching.

His head turned, eyes landing on me, and a dopey grin spread aross his face. “Hey, beautiful.”

Great. He was high. His pupils were the size of quarters.

4/6

15:04 Mon, Dec 29 GGD

Chapter 15

Behind me, I heard it. That voice. That very familiar voice.

“Emery.” Atlas said, sharp and stern like he was trying to stop a toddler from touching fire.

Too bad. I was already fully committed to the flames.

.41%2

55

65 vouchers

I kept my eyes locked on Ford and smiled like I hadn’t just heard Atlas try to short-circuit my brain. “Hi. You’re cute. Wanna make out?”

Ford blinked, like maybe he needed to check if he was hallucinang, but then his grin stretched, and without missing a beat, he leaned in.

And just like that, our lips met.

Holy crap. I’m doing this.

My eyes fluttered shut as Ford kissed me, his lips warm and confident like he’d done this a hundred times. Maybe he had. Whatever, he was good.

And then his hands slid down my waist and cupped my ass like i belonged to him.

My eyes shot open. Okay wow.

Then the chanting started.

“MAKE OUT! MAKE OUT! MAKE OUT!”

God, this party was so freaking loud. Somewhere, someone was stomping on the floor like this was a football game. My head was spinning, but also, okay, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t at least little impressed by myself.

We finally broke apart, both of us breathing just a little heavier. My lips felt warm and probably looked swollen. I glanced at my teammates….yep. Sam was full-on fanning herself. Jazz had her phone up, probably recording or taking photos, and even Meg gave me a proud nod. Even Sophie, who had a resting expression that screamed bored to death, had one eyebrow raised in approval.

And then I glanced to my left…

Atlas was gone.

Weird. For someone who always had something to say, he sure left fast.

Before I could even begin to wonder where he’d disappeared to, Ford leaned in close again, still grinning like a dog who found a bone.

“Wow. You’re a great kisser. Wanna get outta here?”

I laughed softly, wiping the corner of my mouth with the back of my hand. “I’ll pass. But thanks for the kiss, Romeo.”

I patted his chest lightly and turned around before he could say nything else. My boots clicked against the hardwood floor as I made my way back toward Jazz.

The second she saw me, she grinned wide. “Okay, that was iconi

I grinned back. “Right? I might’ve just peaked.”

And honestly? For a first frat party kiss…. not bad. Not bad at all.

5/6

Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Emery’s POV

There’s something about walking into battle.

A real soldier doesn’t show up expecting to fail, she shows up dressed to win. Armor on. Game face ready. No fear forst paire, unshakable confidence.

That’s exactly what I needed tonight.

Because there was no way I was getting rejected. No awkward “pass” when the dare came up. No pity kiss. If I was gonna kiss someone, I was gonna make damn sure he’d remember it.

I’ve got the armor: a black leather dress that hugs like a second skin.

I’ve got the boots: knee-high and unapologetic.

And I’ve got the weapon: my confidence.

I turn slightly, checking my reflection one last time. Blonde curls frame my face like I actually woke up looking this good Mascara? On point. Nude lip? Flawless. Foundation? Chef’s kiss.

My butt? Even better.

“Damn, I look hot.”

I grabbed my small clutch, took a deep breath, and headed out. Ready for war. Or at least for Duncan’s party.

“Holy sh…Emery Collins?!”

Jazz’s jaw dropped the second I walked up to her car. She blinked twice like she wasn’t sure it was me.

“Hi, Jazz,” I said casually, slipping into the passenger seat like I hadn’t just spent an hour getting every detail perfect.

Jazz leaned closer. “Okay, pause. Where did you get that dress, and how is it legally allowed to fit you that perfectly?”

I grinned. “A friend of mine picked it. Said I needed to go big or go home.”

“Well, you’re definitely going big.”

I flipped my hair over my shoulder. “Just making sure the lucky guy who ends up kissing me tonight doesn’t forget it. Ever

Jazz let out a loud cackle and started the engine. “Girl, you’re out for blood.”

“Not blood. Just dignity. I’m not about to be the girl no one wants to kiss. I refuse to be the awkward dare fail”

“You’re literally a walking thirst trap right now. If anything, the Hockey boys better pray they survive.”

I laughed. “Hey, like they say, confidence wins the war.”

“Sir, yes ma’am.” Jazz gave me a mock salute.

I adjusted my dress, checked my reflection in the side mirror, and smiled. Tonight wasn’t about any guy. It wasn’t about feelings or flirting or fate. It was about showing up, showing out and making damn sure I didn’t end up standing there hke some forgotten background character when the dare hit.

Let’s go.

1/6

15:05 Mon, Dec 29 G GO

Chapter 15

12 65 nuchers

Duncan’s frat house was exactly what you’d expect from a frat named Duncan.

The kind of place that smelled like beer, cheap cologne, and bad decisions.

Music? Blasting like someone gave the speakers cocaine. Lights? Flashing like a seizure warning. Couples? Already making out by the staircase-wasn’t even ten yet. And alcohol? Flowing like someone cracked open a fountain of jungle juice.

“Shit,” Jazz muttered beside me.

I turned, brows pulling together. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I just gotta go take care of something real quick. I’ll be right back.”

Before I could ask, she dipped into the crowd, leaving me solo in the lion’s den.

Cool. Totally fine. This was what I came here for anyway. To blend in. To maybe complete a stupid dare. To not get publicly rejected.

I walked deeper into the chaos, holding my head high. I could feel the stares, some quick glances, some obvious ones. Guys nudging their friends, subtle nods in my direction. One guy actually mouthed “damn.”

Okay…maybe the leather dress was a win.

And then, just as I was getting my groove back, a voice slid into my ear like a slow, smug whisper.

“Hey… what’s a beautiful lady like you doing alone at a party like this?”

Wait a second, I know that voice…I turned to see…Atlas?

He blinked like he’d seen a ghost. Or worse…me.

“Emery???”

His voice cracked halfway through my name like he couldn’t believe I existed in real life and not just in his recurring nightmares.

I crossed my arms, giving him a flat stare. “You sound shocked.”

“What are you….why are you…?” He rubbed his forehead like he needed to reset his brain. His eyes dropped lower before he caught himself, groaning and pinching the bridge of his nose like that was gonna help.

“Don’t you think this is a little too much for a frat party?”

I rolled my eyes so hard I almost saw my brain. “Yeah, like you weren’t seconds from jumping my bones.”

Atlas blinked, his mouth opening like he had something smart to say, then just gave up and sighed. “I was….that’s not…ugh. Don’t sue me. Your ass looked great.”

I paused.

“…It did?” I asked, perking up a little. “I noticed that too. It looks under tonight, right? Like it’s sitting higher or something?”

“Emery.” He groaned, his voice a mix of warning and suffering.

I noticed the tips of his ears were red. Very red. Huh.

Anyway, I ignored it. Obviously.

2/6

1505 Mon, Dec 29

Chapter 15

“Like I was saying, dressing like this…” he started again, trying to pull back into serious mode.

“Wait.” I squinted at him. “Did you just compliment my ass?”

He slapped a hand over his face. “Oh great, we’re back on that.”

I grinned. “Which means every other guy here must be thinking I’m hot.”

“Wait What?”

El 55 vouchers

“But if they see me talking to you….” My voice trailed off as I looked around. And yeah. People were definitely watching, Staring, whispering. Oh god.

WAIT.

Talking with Atlas? In public? While looking this good? No, no, no. That’s bad. That’s like social suicide.

My eyes widened. “Shit. I’m not supposed to be seen with you.”

Atlas looked like he’d aged five years in thirty seconds. “Emery, don’t have time for…”

“No! Stay away from me. Just pretend like you don’t know me. If anyone asks, we were talking about… Econ.”

“Econ?”

“Yes. ECONOMICS. Okay? Like marginal costs or some shit. Got it?”

I didn’t wait for an answer. I spun on my heel and rushed into the crowd, heat crawling up my neck. I could feel eyes still on

I grabbed the nearest red cup and took a gulp of whatever was inside. It burned. Probably vodka. Or paint thinner. Whatever. I needed a distraction….something to help with what was to come.