I Swear I Still Hate Him (Atlas Lawson) novel Chapter 154

Chapter 154

Daisy’s POV

I stared at the blue tick on my phone, my fingers tightening slightly around it.

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Two days… Two whole days since I sent Lucy’s number to Atlas… and nothing. No response. No “thanks, Mom.” Not even a polite I’m not interested.

That wasn’t like him.

I shifted in my seat, my lips pressing together as I glanced down again, as if the screen might magically change if I stared hard enough.

I even gone as far as asking Lucy myself if Atlas had reached may be a call, a text…something, and her response had been, not yet…NOT yet?!

My jaw tightened slightly, the unease I had been feeling returning back, I knew Atlas… he was my son, kind and gentle, sweet Atlas…he always showed up. Even when he wasn’t interested, which I wanted to believe was because he was so focused on hockey, nevertheless HE SHOWED UP. That was just the kind of man he was.

So what made this time different?

…Or was it who?

“Mrs. Lawson.”

Dr. Arya’s voice pulled me back, and I blinked, lifting my gaze to find her watching me closely over the rim of her glasses. Her brows were slightly furrowed, concern written all over her face.

“Are you okay?” she asked softly.

I straightened, forcing a small smile onto my lips.

“Yes. Just… got a little distracted.”

She tilted her head, studying me.

“Does this distraction have anything to do with the addiction?”

My smile didn’t falter, but my fingers curled slightly in my lap.

Addiction.

Was that really the word for it?

Or was it just the story I had carefully painted?

“Well,” I said lightly, letting out a soft breath, “I’d be lying if I said there weren’t days I feel tempted to walk into a bar and have a glass or two. But thanks to your advice, I remind myself why I shouldn’t.”

She nodded, warmth in her eyes.

“I’m glad to see you getting better,” she said. “And remember, you don’t have to judge yourself for the temptation. What matters is that you recognize you’re stronger than it.”

Her voice softened.

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12:01 Fri, Feb 27 A MO

Chapter 154

“And that you remember the family who cares about you and wants what’s best for you.”

My smile tightened just a fraction.

“Thank you, Dr. Arya.”

She smiled back, and the session carried on for another twenty minutes questions, breathing exercises, the usual

reassurances.

By the end, I stood, smoothing down my blouse.

“Thank you for such a splendid session,” I said warmly. “I have to say, you’re truly amazing at what

Arya chuckled, waving her hand modestly.

“There you go again with your kind words, Daisy.”

I smirked lightly.

“Only telling the truth.”

She walked me toward the door.

you

do.”

“I see Atlas is still taking over the sports world,” she added with a smile. “My daughters won’t stop gushing about him.”

Pride swelled instantly in my chest.

“Isn’t he amazing?” I said, my voice softer now.

“He really is.”

She paused at the door.

“Please say hi to Rory… and Emery.”

My fingers stilled briefly.

“I will,” I said smoothly. “Take care.”

The moment I turned away, the smile dropped from my face. It had been hurting my cheeks anyway. Outside, the driver was already waiting, the door open. I slipped inside the car, the leather cool against my skin.

The door shut.

And the breath I’d been holding finally escaped. My head fell back against the seat.

Five years…Five long years of therapy under the neat little label of “alcohol addiction.” I almost laughed. Maybe it was an addiction… just not the kind anyone thought. It wasn’t a bottle…wasn’t a bar.

It was a person. A terrible, manipulative, toxic person who made me feel sick in the head… and yet someone I still found myself craving like a fool.

Steve.

Even thinking his name made my stomach tighten. I pressed my fingers to my temples, closing my eyes. I had tried to get away from him. God knows I tried. I had tried to be the wife Roy deserved. The woman he thought he married. The mother Atlas believed in. But for some dark, twisted reason, one call from Steve and I would unravel.

It never even came sweet. It was always a threat.

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Chapter 154

Cold. Calculated.

Come over by six. If you don’t, I tell Atlas what his sweet mama’s been up

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My breath hitched just remembering it.

Atlas.

He always used Atlas. The asshole knew exactly where to aim. And for every time he sent such messages, I knew damn well how that night would end… naked. But I always showed up.

Not until one night when I had a pregnancy scare, and Rory had been busy with business trips, so there was no doubt he would know it wasn’t his. That moment was one of the worst moments of my life, thinking that my careless actions could ruin a life like this, and Atlas… God, I couldn’t fathom him finding out. How would he look at me?

Thankfully, I wasn’t, and that knocked some sense into me.

I told Steve that every 12th of the month, I would send him money, and he had to promise he’d stay the hell away from me. That bastard didn’t need a second to say yes, his love for money blinded everything else. And so, for five years, I had not heard from or seen Steve, had no clue about his whereabouts…

Which was good.

But just like I admitted to Arya, there are days I crave this ‘addiction.’ Days I want to risk it and call him, but I don’t. Because, like every addiction, its main aim is to consume me and leave me with nothing. So I focused on my marriage with Rory, and life’s been going smoothly…

Well, not until the whole issue with Atlas.

I felt it in my gut, something didn’t seem right, and I hoped to hell it wasn’t what I was thinking.

***

“When was the last time you spoke with Emery?” I asked out of the blue, cutting into my salad like I hadn’t just thrown a loaded question across the table.

Rory looked up at me, surprised. “Oh.”

I gave him a small, thoughtful smile, tilting my head slightly. “It just feels like it’s been a while. I mean, we talked last week, but… I don’t know. She didn’t seem very close yet distant…or is all this in my head?”

Rory chuckled, wiping his mouth with a napkin. “You know, Em. She’s busy with her modeling gigs. I called her two days ago, she said she was in a meeting and would call me back.”

He lifted a brow.

“She didn’t, by the way.”

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