I Swear I Still Hate Him (Atlas Lawson) novel Chapter 157

Chapter 157

Atlas POV

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After dinner, we drove back to my apartment in silence. Not the peaceful kind either. The kind that sits between two people like a third passenger, heavy, stubborn, refusing to move. I kept my eyes on the road, hands tight on the wheel. Emery stared out the window, her face turned away, like the streetlights were more interesting than the mess we’d been pretending wasn’t there.

I didn’t expect Mom and Rory to show up like that. I mean……. parents checking in? Normal. Fine. Great. Love that for us. But a heads-up would’ve been nice. And Mom’s interrogation? I love her, I do. But sometimes she comes in hot like she’s the FBI and I’m hiding classified documents in my sock drawer.

By the time we got upstairs, the tension was clinging to my skin.

I unlocked the door and we walked inside. Emery kicked off her shoes slowly, like she was exhausted in every way a person could be. She didn’t look at me. She just headed toward her room.

And I let her get two steps down the hall before I spoke, because if I didn’t, I knew I’d lie awake all night replaying everything.

“Em.” My voice came out low. “Can we talk about tonight?”

She turned, brows lifting. “What about it?” she asked, like she didn’t know exactly what I meant.

“I didn’t know you were planning on moving so soon.”

A small smile tugged at her mouth. “You didn’t think I was gonna stay here forever, did you?”

“No. Of course not.” I took a step closer, hands flexing at my sides. “But… I tightened the security. I’ve got people on rotation. Cameras. The whole thing.” My throat tightened. “What happened last time isn’t gonna happen again. So you don’t have to leave.

Her expression shifted. Not soft or grateful but Guarded.

“Atlas,” she said, voice sharp, “I’m not a baby. I’m freaking twenty-nine. I can stay wherever I want. I don’t need you babysitting me.”

“I’m not…” I cut myself off, frustrated because I couldn’t find the words that wouldn’t expose my heart. “I just……….”

I don’t want you to go.

I don’t want the distance.

I don’t want to wake up and realize you’re not here anymore.

The words burned in my throat. But like always with her, I swallowed them. I forced my face into something calm. Something safe.

“You’re right,” I said quietly. “So… when are you leaving?”

Her shoulders eased a fraction, like she was relieved I’d backed off, and hurt I did.

“Well,” she said, hesitating, “I was hoping after I’m cleared from therapy. Which is… three weeks from now.”

Three weeks.

My stomach dropped so hard it almost made me dizzy. I nodded anyway, like it didn’t break something in me.

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O

17:12 Mon, Mar 2 TAM.

Chapter 157

“Great,” I said, voice too steady.

She smiled, small and polite. “If that’s all, I’ll head to my room.”

I held my smile in place like it wasn’t cracking.

“Good night,” I said.

“Night, Atlas.”

She turned and walked out… but then she came right back, eyes wide.

“You little show-off,” she said, like she was accusing me of a crim

I grinned. “What are you talking about?”

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“My room,” she laughed, shaking her head. Then she spun around and headed back down the hall like she couldn’t wait another second.

I followed her…watching as she stepped inside and stopped dead her head tilting back, eyes fixed on the ceiling. Okay, Neotech deserved a raise and 5 star rating for delivering on time The projector had done its job. The galaxy spread overhead, stars scattered across the ceiling like someone spilled jar of light. Soft clouds floated between them, slow and dreamy.

Emery’s lips parted.

“How did you….” she whispered.

I leaned against the doorframe, trying to act casual, even though my heart was practically doing backflips. “I thought it might help you sleep,” I said. “You love the stars. I figured I’d bring them closer. No big deal.”

She looked at me like I was insane.

“No big deal?” Her voice cracked into a laugh. “Atlas… this is…” she paused, swallowing. “This is so beautiful.”

My chest tightened. I smiled, unable to help it, my heart swelling stupidly at the way her face lit up.

She chuckled again, still staring up. “It feels like the stars are right there.”

Then she climbed onto the bed and laid back to get a better view of the ceiling, like she was trying to soak it in.

“Come,” she said, patting the space beside her.

I didn’t even hesitate. I walked over and laid down next to her, close, but not too close. My body was hyper-aware of every inch between us.

“This is really thoughtful,” she said quietly. “Thank you.”

“It’s nothing,” I murmured. “I just want you to sleep. Like… actually sleep.”

“Oh, I will,” she said, dead serious. Then her lips curved. “But you might need earplugs, because my snores are about to shake this whole building.”

I let out a low laugh. “Thanks for the heads-up.”

We lay there in comfortable silence, staring up at the bright stars and soft clouds spread across her ceiling

Then I cleared my throat, like I was sharing a secret.

2/4

O

17:12 Mon, Mar 2 TAM.

Chapter 157

“Oh… by the way… it gets better.”

She turned her head slightly toward me. “It does?”

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I smiled, and then I clapped twice the lights went out. For a beat the room went dark… And then the stars above us glowed. Soft and bright, like the night sky had come alive. Emery’s eyes widened, and the excitement on her face was the best thing I had seen all night.

“Oh my goodness,” she whispered, like she didn’t want to scare away.

We lay there in silence, just staring up at the ceiling. The stars glowed above us, soft and unreal, and for a minute, it felt like the world had finally shut up. But I couldn’t shut up inside my own head. Emery was right next to me, so close I could feel her warmth through the space between us, yet somehow she still felt miles away. Like she was here, but already halfway

gone.

My hand rested at my side, and it started to ache. Not pain….need The stupid, quiet urge to reach over and take her hand like it was the most normal thing in the world.

My pinky twitched. Just a little more and I’d touch hers. I turned my head. Her eyes were closed. I blinked, watching her face for a second, trying to tell if she was just resting or if she’d actually fallen asleep. Her lashes sat still against her cheeks. Her mouth was slightly open, like she’d finally let herself breathe.

I leaned in just a little, close enough to hear it. Soft breaths. Slow Even. She was asleep. A quiet laugh slipped out of me before I could stop it. “Guess the stars were a good idea,” I whispered.

I should’ve left right then. My rational brain was already tapping me on the shoulder like, Hey, idiot. Get up. Walk out. Be decent.

And sometimes, I do listen. But my rational brain should know better by now. When it comes to Emery, it doesn’t get It just watches me lose.

I shifted carefully, moving slowly so the mattress wouldn’t bounge. And instead of leaving like a sane person, I just… stay

there.

Staring.

I watched her lips part with each breath. Watched her chest rise and fall under the blanket. Watched the tension in her face disappear in sleep, like she finally felt safe. She looked peaceful. The kind of peace that makes your chest hurt because you want to protect it.

I could’ve stayed there all night. I really could’ve. But then her words from earlier hit me again, sharp as a blade.

Three weeks.

That was all I had. Three weeks before, she packed her things, thanked me politely, and walked out of my life again like she hadn’t ripped a hole in it the first time. My jaw tightened. I swallowed, hard. Just the thought of saying goodbye made something twist in my stomach. I couldn’t even picture it without my chest feeling tight. Without my throat going dry.

Would I actually be able to let her go?

I stared up at the glowing ceiling, but all I could see was the future, her leaving, the room empty, the silence coming back.

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