I Swear I Still Hate Him (Atlas Lawson) novel Chapter 164

Chapter 164

Daisy’s POV

The words wouldn’t leave me alone.

“I mean… this wouldn’t be your first time leaking something to the public.”

“What happened to you, Daisy?”

“Stay the hell away from my life… and that includes Atlas too.”

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They replayed in my head like a song I couldn’t turn off, every night when I closed my eyes, every morning before my feet even touched the floor. The kind of reminder that didn’t just sting… it choked. Like someone had wrapped a hand around my throat and decided I didn’t deserve air.

I sat at my desk in California, papers spread out in front of me, pen in hand, pretending to work.

Pretending I was fine.

Pretending my world hadn’t shifted on its axis over dinner in a quiet restaurant.

My jaw ached from how tight I’d been holding it. I pressed the pen harder as I signed my name on a document, my mind somewhere else, back in that restaurant, back in Emery’s eyes. The way she’d looked at me. Not scared. Not confused. Just… done.

I blinked and realized I’d been holding my breath.

“What!” I snapped, whirling toward my assistant without even thinking. “What?”

May froze in the doorway like I’d slapped her with my tone. Her shoulders pulled back, her eyes widening.

Then she cleared her throat, voice careful. “Ma’am…” She pointed softly. “You’re… bleeding.”

I looked down.

My fingers were clenched so tightly around the pen that the metal had dug into my palm. A small line of red had started to bead at the edge, bright against my skin.

For a second, I just stared at it, like it belonged to someone else. Then I released the pen, flexing my hand slowly. My fingers trembled. Not from pain. From everything else. I reached for a tissue from the box on my desk and pressed it to the cut, forcing a breath through my nose.

“I’m sorry,” I said, softer now, forcing my face into something calm. “I’ve just been stressed.”

May nodded, relief flickering across her face now that I wasn’t yelling. “It’s fine, ma’am.”

Her eyes lingered on my hand, then she offered gently, “Do you want me to make you some chai?”

“Yes, please,” I replied with a small smile, one that probably looked more like a grimace,

May left quietly, closing the door behind her. The second she was gone, my shoulders dropped. I leaned back in my chair, tissue still pressed to my palm, and let out a shaky exhale. My chest felt tight, like I couldn’t get a full breath no matter how hard I tried.

Two days.

It had only been two days since we got back to California, and every second of those two days had been hell. Not because I

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15:40 Fri, Mar 6 A MO

Chapter 164

was afraid of Emery. Because I couldn’t stop thinking about how she knew.

How did she find out? How had I been so careless?

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Maybe I got comfortable. Maybe I thought time had buried it deep enough. Maybe I thought separating them would be permanent…clean, final, sealed.

That was the plan. It was supposed to stay that way. And now?

Now I had a problem I didn’t know how to control.

Because Emery wasn’t a child anymore. She wasn’t some scared irl I could steer with a few carefully chosen words. She looked me in the eyes and threatened me with the truth, and the worst part was I knew she meant it. I stared down at the tissue, watching the small bloom of red spread across it. My stomach turned.

If Rory found out or worse Atlas….god not Atlas…

No. I couldn’t even let my mind finish the sentence. I pressed my lips together and forced another breath, slower this time. The door opened again, and May returned with a steaming cup of chai, the warm scent filling the office.

“Here you go,” she said softly, setting it down in front of me.

“Thank you,” I murmured, wrapping my fingers around the mug like I needed the heat to keep me grounded.

Right on cue, another knock sounded. A delivery person stepped into the office holding a bouquet. Rose flowers. A ridiculous amount of them. Red, full, perfect.

May’s face brightened immediately. “Aww,” she said, smiling. “Mr. Collins is so romantic.”

I forced a smile, but it didn’t reach my eyes.

“Yeah,” I said quietly, my voice strange in my own ears. “He is.”

****

Later that night after dinner, all I wanted was to close my eyes and shut myself off from the world.

My head was pounding. My body felt heavy. The kind of tired that isn’t just physical-it’s the exhaustion of holding things in, of smiling when you want to scream, of swallowing fear like is water.

I crawled into bed, hoping sleep would knock me out before my thoughts could start up again.

But Rory had other plans.

He’d been traveling so much lately that we barely spent real time together. I understood that. I did. I knew he missed me. And tonight, the way he looked at me soft, hungry, affectionate, was clear he wanted to feel close again. Like closeness could fix the distance.

He came up behind me as I adjusted my pillow, his hands sliding to my waist.

Then he leaned in, kissing the side of my neck slow, warm, famillar.

“You smell good, baby,” he whispered against my skin.

My stomach tightened,

I wasn’t ready for this,

Not tonight.

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15:40 Fri, Mar 6 A MO

Chapter 164

“Rory, maybe…” I started, but the words died in my mouth because his lips found mine.

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