I Swear I Still Hate Him (Atlas Lawson) novel Chapter 24

Chapter 24

Chapter 24

Emery’s POV

So I’m on a date. With a guy. A guy who isn’t a hockey player or some walking emotional landmine.

Brandon.

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Brandon is… nice. Like, genuinely nice. He opened the door for me. Pulled out my chair. Complimented my dress without being weird about it. He even smells good, fresh, minty, with a hint of something warm and expensive. He’s funny, too. He cracked two space puns already, and while I rolled my eyes, I also laughed.

So this should be great, right?

Perfect even.

This should be just the kind of mental reset my brain and vagina desperately need.

So why the hell do I keep zoning out?

I glance at my watch. Again.

I think about my bed. My apartment. My playlist. The pool. That one hoodie I forgot to wash.

Atlas.

Stop it.

I shake the thought away and try to focus. Brandon’s lips are moving, and I’m nodding like I totally understand what he’s saying, except I have no idea what he’s talking about.

Something about stars. Or planets? Or the moon?

Crap. I’m such a bitch.

“Emery?”

My eyes snap up, wide. “Yeah?”

Brandon looks at me, a smile playing on his lips like he’s trying tot to laugh. “I asked if you’ve ever seen a meteor shower before.”

Oh. Cool. Yeah, let’s pretend I didn’t just dissociate mid-date.

I gave him an apologetic smile. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to space out, pun not intended.”

He chuckled. “It’s okay. I probably bored you with my science staff.”

“No!” I sat up straighter, resting my arms on the table. “You were talking about stars, which are… amazing. Really. I’ve just had a shitty day at practice. That’s all.”

His expression softened. “Wanna talk about it?”

I opened my mouth. I really do. But then I remember this was supposed to be a date, not an emotional breakdown with

wine.

I smiled instead. “It’s okay. We didn’t come here for a therapy session.”

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Chapter 24

He nodded, thankfully not pushing it.

I tilted my head, trying to stay present. “So…. what’s your favorite star?”

His whole face lit up like a puppy just got handed a telescope.

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“Oh man, that’s tough,” he said, eyes gleaming. “I think I’d have to say Betelgeuse. It’s part of the Orion constellation, the shoulder of the hunter. It’s this massive red supergiant, like, ridiculously huge, if it were in place of our sun, it would extend all the way to Jupiter. Can you imagine? Like, Earth would just be toast.”

I blinked. “Wait. Toast toast? Like grilled-cheese-toast?”

He laughed. “Exactly. Like, instant death. But the cool part is, it’s nearing the end of its life cycle, and any day now, well, ‘any day’ in space terms, meaning the next hundred thousand years, could go supernova. And when it does? It’ll be so bright we might be able to see it during the day.”

I grinned, genuinely impressed. “Okay, that’s actually badass.”

He leaned forward a little, clearly excited. “Right? And stars like Betelgeuse are part of how we even exist. Like, the carbon in our bodies? The iron in our blood? All forged in the hearts of dying stars. We’re literally made of stardust.”

My brows lift. “So, you’re saying I’m sparkly inside?”

He smirked. “Exactly. You’re 90% water and 10% cosmic glitter.”

I laughed, sipping my drink. Okay, maybe this date wasn’t so bad after all.

****

Brandon is a great kisser.

Like, genuinely great. Soft lips, just the right amount of pressure hands that knew exactly where to rest, not too grabby, not too stiff. It was nice.

Hot, even.

But not as great as Atlas.

Ugh. The freaking voice in my head just had to say it.

Can you not?! Can’t you see I’m in the middle of a hot make-out session here?

Brandon’s lips moved to my bottom one, sucking it gently, and let out a moan. Okay. Focus. We’d long left the restaurant behind and now, here we were, tangled up in his dorm room, tripping over his rug, hands on each other like we were trying to win something.

We fell onto his bed, still kissing, still breathless. His hand was of my waist, fingers pressing just under the hem of my top. His mouth slid down to my neck, lips warm, tongue teasing.

I tilted my head instinctively, letting him in. My eyes fluttered shut.

“Oh yeah…” I whispered, my breath shaky.

This. This is what I needed.

A distraction.

A reset.

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15:09 Mon, Dec 29 GG.

Chapter 24

He nodded, thankfully not pushing it.

I tilted my head, trying to stay present. “So… what’s your favorite star?”

His whole face lit up like a puppy just got handed a telescope.

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“Oh man, that’s tough,” he said, eyes gleaming. “I think I’d have to say Betelgeuse. It’s part of the Orion constellation, the shoulder of the hunter. It’s this massive red supergiant, like, ridiculously huge, if it were in place of our sun, it would extend all the way to Jupiter. Can you imagine? Like, Earth would just be toast.”

I blinked. “Wait. Toast toast? Like grilled-cheese-toast?”

He laughed. “Exactly. Like, instant death. But the cool part is, it’s hearing the end of its life cycle, and any day now, well, ‘any day’ in space terms, meaning the next hundred thousand years, could go supernova. And when it does? It’ll be so bright we might be able to see it during the day.”

I grinned, genuinely impressed. “Okay, that’s actually badass.”

He leaned forward a little, clearly excited. “Right? And stars like Betelgeuse are part of how we even exist. Like, the carbon in our bodies? The iron in our blood? All forged in the hearts of dying stars. We’re literally made of stardust.”

My brows lift. “So, you’re saying I’m sparkly inside?”

He smirked. “Exactly. You’re 90% water and 10% cosmic glitter.”

I laughed, sipping my drink. Okay, maybe this date wasn’t so bad after all.

****

Brandon is a great kisser.

Like, genuinely great. Soft lips, just the right amount of pressure hands that knew exactly where to rest, not too grabby, not too stiff. It was nice.

Hot, even.

But not as great as Atlas.

Ugh. The freaking voice in my head just had to say it.

Can you not?! Can’t you see I’m in the middle of a hot make-out session here?

Brandon’s lips moved to my bottom one, sucking it gently, and let out a moan. Okay, Focus. We’d long left the restaurant behind and now, here we were, tangled up in his dorm room, tripping over his rug, hands on each other like we were trying to win something.

We fell onto his bed, still kissing, still breathless. His hand was on my waist, fingers pressing just under the hem of my top. His mouth slid down to my neck, lips warm, tongue teasing.

I tilted my head instinctively, letting him in. My eyes fluttered shut.

“Oh yeah…” I whispered, my breath shaky.

This. This is what I needed.

A distraction.

A reset.

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15 09 Mon, Dec 29 GG

Chapter 24

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Something… anything…to erase that night. But just as I was starting to feel it, like really feel it, the memories crept in.

No. Not now.

Too late. Like a dam bursting, they poured in. Atlas’s voice, rough and low against my skin.

His mouth…

His hands…

The way he said…

“You’re dripping… so beautiful.”

No. No, no. Don’t do this.

I jerked forward slightly and grabbed Brandon’s face, crashing my lips onto his, hard. A little too hard.

He groaned against my mouth, clearly not complaining.

“God, you’re so beautiful,” he murmured between kisses, his hand now on my thigh. “So damn hot.”

I forced a smile, kept kissing him, eyes shut tight.

You are not going to make out with this sweet, science-loving guy and think about Atlas. No. Freaking. Way.

I kissed him again, harder. Maybe if I kept going, kept touching, kept not thinking, I could trick my brain into forgetting.

We pulled apart, gasping, our foreheads almost touching. Brandon’s lips were red and swollen, his grin slow and smug like he already knew where this was headed. My heart hammered against my ribs. I bit my bottom lip, anticipation coiling in my stomach. Then, with deliberate slowness, he slid down the bed, His hands gripping my thighs as he gently pried them apart. His eyes flicked up to mine once, and my breath caught.

“Relax,” he whispered, almost cocky.

I swallowed, my mouth dry, as he hooked his fingers around my panties and tugged them down.

Yes.

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