I Swear I Still Hate Him (Atlas Lawson) novel Chapter 43

Chapter 43

Chapter 43

Emery’s POV

:

69

E55 vouchers

The room was dead silent. Not the peaceful kind either. The weird kind, where every little sound felt ten times louder, like my own breathing, the ticking clock, the soft hum of the heater. And of course… the presence of Atlas.

We weren’t even touching. In fact, we were both teetering on opposite ends of the bed like it was some middle school sleepover with imaginary lines drawn down the mattress.

Still, I could feel him. Half-naked, warm-bodied, Atlas. Just… existing. And it was stressing me out.

This is awkward…Why is this awkward?… It shouldn’t be awkward.

We weren’t doing anything wrong. Just two roommates. Sharing a bed. Totally normal.

Except for the part where my entire body was clenched like I was hanging off a cliff.

I shifted a little, trying to ease the tension in my back, and right as I turned, Atlas did too. Now we were face- to-face. Perfect. Just what my overthinking brain needed.

“Can’t sleep?” he asked, his voice low and scratchy.

“Yeah,” I mumbled, eyes flicking to his.

His hair was a mess. Like he’d run his hands through it a hundred times, and his eyes were still a little glassy from sleep.

“You comfortable?” he asked, one brow lifting. “Cause you look like you’re one second away from falling off the bed.”

“What? I’m fineeee.” I forced a smile, waving him off even though I was literally one wrong move away from hitting the floor.

འ་

He gave me a look. “Emery. Move in. There’s enough space.”

I hesitated. My pride wanted to say no, but my fear of face-planting overruled. So… I scooted in. Barely.

“Again,” Atlas said, voice calm but firm.

I moved another inch.

He arched a brow. “Seriously?”

Ugh. Fine.

I scooted closer, closer until there was zero personal space left. My arm brushed against his stomach, and I could feel the heat rolling off him.

15:00 Tue, Dec 30

Chapter 43

“Happy?” I asked flatly, trying not to die of internal panic.

Atlas grinned. “Not yet.”

E55 vouchers

Before I could react, his hand gently wrapped around my waist, tugging me in until my head rested against

his chest.

“Atlas!” I hissed, wide-eyed, my hand instinctively landing on his chest like a barrier. “What are you doing?”

“Relax,” he said, laughing softly. “I’m not gonna cat you up.”

I let out a dramatic sigh, cheeks already burning. “I’m relaxed…relaxed as I’m ever gonna be.” Okay, was that even proper English? Whatever.

But I didn’t move. His chest was warm. His heartbeat steady. And somehow… being here, wrapped up like this, felt safer than anything had in a long time. Maybe this wasn’t so bad.

Maybe this was exactly what I needed.

Everything felt calm -the gentle beating of his heart – until it suddenly picked up, just a little. Thump- thump-thump, faster than before. My eyebrows pulled together.

Is he… nervous? Because of me?

I swallowed, trying to distract myself before my brain made this weird moment even weirder.

“Um…” I whispered into the quiet. “We, uh… we have a swimming competition coming up. Against Cal U.”

Atlas hummed, eyes still half closed. “Yeah?”

“Coach… picked me for the 100 free.”

Atlas’s eyes snapped open, and he looked down at me, grinning. “Woah, Em, that’s awesome. You get to kick some ass in the pool.”

His excitement made my chest warm, but my smile felt weak. Flat. Barely there. He noticed immediately.

“What?” he asked softly.

I looked down at his shirt…well, his bare chest, and forced the words out. “I don’t… I can’t… Atlas, I haven’t been swimming as fast as I used to. I’m slower. I mess up. And what if I…what if I blow it on competition day? What if I just…”

“Emery.”

His voice cut through my spiral, gentle but firm.

He pulled back just enough so our eyes met in the dim room. His hand came up to cup the side of my face, thumb brushing my cheekbone.

“Do you have any idea how incredible you are?” he said, voice low and certain. “I watched you swim for two

15:00 Tue, Dec 30

Chapter 43

:

:

years. I know what you can do. You’re a beast in the water when you’re locked in.”

My throat tightened.

69

55 vouchers

Atlas continued, eyes steady on mine. “You’re not just good, you’re a powerhouse. And you don’t forget how to be great overnight.”

I opened my mouth, voice barely a whisper. “But… what if I can’t?”

He shook his head lightly. “Okay, but what if you can? How about we ask that instead?”

The conviction in his voice hit me harder than any pep talk I’d ever gotten.

“I believe in you, Em.” His thumb brushed my cheek again, gently. “And I know you’re gonna ace it. Like you always do. You just… you need to believe it too.”

My lips trembled, not from fear this time, but something warm. Something soft.

“Thanks,” I whispered, meeting his eyes.

He pulled me closer, his arm wrapping gently around my waist. “Anytime, Collins,” he mumbled, his voice already thick with sleep. Then he let out a loud yawn. “Now let’s get some sleep. Gotta protect my beauty rest, can’t have my charm levels dropping.”

I snorted. “Oh yeah, that would be tragic. Your little fan club wouldn’t survive the heartbreak.”

He chuckled, the sound low and warm. “Exactly. Gotta stay handsome for the brand.”

I rolled

my eyes but smiled, letting my body melt into his. My head rested against his chest again, and I could hear his heartbeat, a steady rhythm that somehow made my own slow down. I tucked my legs a little closer to his and closed my eyes.

His words still echoed in my mind.

You’re a powerhouse… I believe in you.

It was like the buzzing doubt that had taken over my brain finally quieted down. Not completely, but enough for me to breathe again. I let out a long sigh and felt my body relax for the first time in what felt like forever. Atlas was already drifting off, his breathing slow and even, but I stayed there a little longer, just listening. And before I even realized it, my eyelids got heavy, my thoughts faded, and I finally slipped into sleep.

Maybe I could do this after all.

*****

I was all warm and cozy, snuggled close against Atlas like he was some giant, slightly grumpy body pillow. His heartbeat thumped steadily under my check, comforting and strong, except… was it getting faster?

I blinked my eyes open, stretching a little, and tilted my head up. Atlas’s face was… red. Like, full-on tomato red. His jaw was tight, and he was staring at the ceiling like it had personally offended him.

15:00 Tue, Dec 30

Chapter 43

:

“You okay?” I asked, my voice still raspy from sleep.

0:0

69

55 vouchers

His

eyes

flicked down to me. “No,” he said, and his voice came out… weird. All strangled and tense.

I started to sit up, worry kicking in. “Wait…what’s wrong? Do you feel sick? Does it hurt anywhere? Should I…”

“You’re, uh… gripping my dick a little too hard, Em.”

VERIFYCAPTCHA_LABELVerify