I Swear I Still Hate Him (Atlas Lawson) novel Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Emery

After dinner, I went straight up to my room and closed the door behind me like it was a secret.

Because tonight?

It was the night.

I slipped into the short black flowery dress I’d picked out days ago. It hugged my curves just right, the tiny white flowers scattered across the fabric like stars. The thin straps tied neatly over my shoulders, and the neckline dipped just low enough to whisper I’m ready, but not scream it.

I curled my hair, letting it fall in soft waves over my back, and d a light swipe of makeup, just enough blush to make me look glowy, just enough mascara to make my eyes pop.

A spritz of my favorite perfume behind my ears.

Then, with a small smile, I pulled open my drawer.

Condoms.

Because I wasn’t leaving anything to chance.

This was my night. My decision.

I loved Kevin. I was sure of that.

And tonight, I was ready to give him something I’d held onto for so long.

I tucked them into my small purse, did one final spin in front of the mirror, and headed downstairs.

Confident.

Excited.

Slightly nervous.

Until I saw him.

Atlas freaking Lawson.

Still here. Still looking like a walking punch to my mood.

Seriously? I thought he’d left already.

The second my dad spotted me, I just knew it.

“Atlas can drop you off,” he said.

I smiled like it didn’t murder me inside.

“Great,” I muttered. Way to ruin the moment.

We barely spoke in the car.

The silence was loud, like always.

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Chapter 5

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But as we slowed at a red light, a shiver ran through me. I should ve brought a jacket, but I’d been too focused on… well, not

that.

Now I was freezing.

And worse?

No bra.

My nipples had chosen violence tonight and were practically waing hello to Atlas.

Please don’t look. Please don’t look. Please don’t…

A jacket hit my lap.

His.

“I…I’m fine,” I said, even though I was probably a few seconds from hypothermia.

He didn’t even blink.

“You’re practically shivering, Collins. Wear the damn jacket.”

Ugh.

I hated that he was right.

I hated even more that his stupid hoodie was warm and smelled like cedar and soap and him.

I tugged it on. The sleeves hung way past my wrists, and the hen hit my thighs. He was 6’2. I was 5’5.

I looked like I was playing dress-up in the some giant’s closet.

But damn it, I was warm.

When we pulled up in front of Nash’s house, I didn’t even wait for the car to stop fully.

I turned to him.

“Don’t bother looking for me later. I’ll be going home with Laila and Kev.”

“Wasn’t planning on babysitting.”

Good.

I slammed the door and walked up the driveway, where Laila wa already waving at me.

“You look so beautiful!” she said, pulling me into a hug.

I grinned. “You look hot!”

And she did.

Her hair was braided into a sleek ponytail with two strands framing her face, her outfit perfectly Laila fitted jeans, a cropped tank top, and a cropped denim jacket.

“I try my best,” she said with a wink. “Hoping Atlas might notice me tonight.”

“Eweeh,” I fake gagged, laughing. “I totally forgot about your massive, delusional crush on him.”

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Chapter 5

“Delusional?! Excuse me, that man is walking sin.”

I rolled my eyes, giggling. “Where’s Kev?”

“He stepped out for a bit, should be back soon.”

I nodded, pretending my heart didn’t just speed up a little.

“Okay,” I said. “Let’s dance.”

“Hell yes.”

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The music pulsed through the room, bass vibrating in my chest, lights flickering between purple and gold as Laila and I moved with the crowd.

We danced like we always did laughing, spinning, letting go of everything that didn’t matter.

But then I felt it.

A shift.

A pull.

Like someone had hooked a string to the back of my neck.

I paused, breath catching slightly, and glanced up.

Atlas.

Leaning against the wall like he wasn’t part of the chaos.

His arms were crossed, and some brunette girl with glossy lips and a low-cut top was talking to him.

She was smiling, leaning in, laughing like she was the main character in some romcom.

But he wasn’t even looking at her.

He was looking at me.

What the hell.

He didn’t even bother to glance away. Didn’t pretend he wasn’t watching me.

Just stood there, all dark eyes and quiet judgment, like I was a movie he’d seen before and still didn’t understand.

My skin prickled, heat rising up my neck.

Why was he staring?

And why did my stomach twist because of it?

I forced myself to ignore him.

Definitely just the lighting. Or the heat. Or the fact that his stare elt way too intense for a guy who hated my guts.

“Hey, baby,” a voice murmured behind me.

Warm hands slid around my waist, pulling me close.

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Kevin.

He leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to my neck, his breath sending a little shiver down my spine.

Laila grinned and backed away. “I’m gonna leave you lovebirds alone.”

I laughed as I waved her bye.

“You look so beautiful,” he whispered, kissing my collarbone as we swayed together.

“I always look beautiful,” I teased, grinning.

He chuckled, hands gripping my waist a little tighter. Our bodies pressed together, moving with the beat.

But even as we danced, I could still feel Atlas’s eyes on me.

Heavy. Watching.

I didn’t look up.

Didn’t give him the satisfaction.

If he wanted to stare like some judgmental gargoyle, fine. Be my guest. I had other things on my mind.

Kevin’s breath hitched slightly, and I felt him press closer and that’s when I felt it poking my back.

He was hard.

“Do you wanna get out of here?” he asked, voice husky.

I hesitated for half a second.

Then smiled.

“Yes.”

He laced our fingers together and pulled me through the crowd, leading me upstairs, one step at a time.

My heart was racing.

But I told myself it was excitement.

Just excitement.

Not nerves.

Not hesitation.

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The moment Kevin closed the door behind us, his hands were of me.

Lips crashing against mine, breaths shallow and uneven as he walked us backward until I fell onto the bed with a soft thud.

He followed, kissing down my neck, warm and eager.

“Wait…” I said between kisses, head turning slightly. “We should be here… Nash would…”

He kissed me again, deeper. “Nash is cool with this,” he mumble against my skin, voice low and hot.

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Chapter 5

Our foreheads pressed together, both of us breathing like we’d just run a marathon.

“Can I… do you… I don’t…” Kevin stammered, his hands braced on either side of me.

I reached up, touching his cheek, smiling softly. “Yes.”

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