Marked by the Alpha Team (Luna Merrick) novel Chapter 193

Hurt the most

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Luna’s POV

I walked away from Ryder’s room feeling much lighter than I had when I first arrived. The knot that had been sitting heavily in my chest for what felt like the entire day had loosened considerably after talking to him, and I could not stop replaying our conversation in my head. Ryder had every reason to be angry with me. If our positions had been reversed, I honestly did not know if I would have handled the situation as gracefully as he had. Instead of making me feel guilty, he had listened to me. Instead of demanding that I change my decision, he had accepted that I was only trying to protect myself. More than anything, he had reminded me that I did not have to carry the burden of everyone else’s emotions on my shoulders.

It did not magically erase the slight guilt I still felt, but it certainly made it easier to just breathe. By the time I stepped into the hallway again, I found myself thinking that maybe I had been worrying too much all along. Theo had eventually understood where I was coming from, and Ryder had reacted far better than I had expected. Surely, the remaining conversations could not possibly go much worse than the ones I had already survived. Maybe I had overestimated how difficult this whole thing was going to be. Maybe talking everything through one person at a time was exactly what all of us needed.

Before I left his room, Ryder had even been kind enough to point out where both Knox’s and Orion’s rooms were since I still had no idea where either of them stayed. It was oddly amusing that despite everything happening between me and the five of them, I barely knew anything as simple as where they slept. As I walked through the upstairs hallway, I thought carefully about who I should speak to next. Orion immediately came to mind because I knew he was probably the one taking my decision the hardest, but that was exactly why I hesitated.

Orion wore every emotion on his face. Talking to him while he was still upset could easily become exhausting, and after the emotional conversations I had already had today, I was not sure I had enough energy left to calm him down if he completely lost his temper. Knox, on the other hand, was almost impossible to read. He rarely showed strong emotions on the surface, and although that made him frustrating at times, it also made him less unpredictable. After thinking about it for another minute, I decided that I would speak to Knox first. Hopefully, after that conversation was over, I would have gathered enough courage to deal with Orion afterward.

Following Ryder’s directions, I eventually stopped in front of a wooden door that looked almost identical to every other door in the hallway. Unlike Ryder’s room, there was no decoration outside, no personalized sign, nothing that really revealed who stayed inside. I took a slow breath, trying to organize my thoughts before I raised my hand and knocked lightly against the wood. Once the sound echoed through the hallway, I folded my arms and waited patiently until almost a minute went by, and for a moment, I honestly wondered if Knox had even heard me.

I considered knocking again, but something told me not to. Instead, I continued waiting, listening to the faint sounds coming from inside the room. Almost another full minute later, I finally heard footsteps approaching the door, followed by the sound of the lock turning. The door slowly opened, and Knox appeared in front of me wearing a simple black T-shirt and gray sweatpants. His usually neat dark hair looked slightly messy, almost like he had been running his fingers through it repeatedly, and despite the relaxed clothes, he somehow still looked effortlessly put together. His eyes landed on me almost immediately, and before I could even open my mouth to greet him, one of his brows slowly rose.

“I already know why you’re here,” he said calmly, his voice carrying the same steady tone he always seemed to have no matter the situation. He leaned one shoulder lightly against the doorframe as though he had no

9:54 Wed, Aug 12

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Marked by the Alpha Team

intention of inviting me inside. “Before you say anything, you can rest assured that I’m not upset with your decision in the slightest. So if you came here to apologize or explain yourself, you really don’t have to.

For a few seconds, I simply stared at him, completely caught off guard. I had prepared myself for awkwardness, but what I had not prepared for was Knox shutting the entire conversation down before it had even started. There was something strangely final about the way he spoke. It was not cruel or cold. It was simply… direct. It almost felt like he had already decided exactly how this interaction was going to end before he even opened the door. I searched his face for some sign that he was pretending to be okay, but as always with Knox, his expression gave away almost nothing.

It was that same unreadable face. Somehow, I still could not tell whether he genuinely meant what he had just said or whether he was simply hiding whatever he actually felt behind that calm mask of his.

“Are you sure you don’t want to talk?” I asked quietly after finally finding my voice. I could hear the uncertainty in my own words because, despite everything he had just said, I still felt like leaving without trying again would be the wrong thing to do.

Knox gave a small nod without hesitating for even a second. “I’m very sure,” he responded evenly. “I’m actually working on an assignment right now, and I’d really like to finish it before tomorrow. We’ll talk later at school… or maybe we won’t.”

His lips curved into the faintest hint of a smile, although it did not quite reach his eyes. “Since you’re about to be publicly dating Jace,” he continued calmly, “I’d rather not be seen hanging around you too much. I don’t want people getting the wrong idea, and I definitely don’t want to create unnecessary misunderstandings for either of you.”

His words landed much harder than I expected them to. They were reasonable. In fact, they made perfect sense considering the decision I had made earlier. Still, hearing them out loud stung in a way I had not anticipated. For some reason, I had assumed that things between Knox and me would remain exactly as they were before despite my fake relationship with Jace. I had not even considered the possibility that Knox himself would start keeping his distance even more because of it.

Suddenly, the reality of what I had chosen became much more tangible. This fake relationship was not only going to change how strangers viewed me. It was also going to change how I interacted with all my mates.

Before I could gather enough thoughts to answer him, Knox straightened away from the doorframe.

“Take care of yourself, Luna,” he said simply, his voice remaining calm and polite.

Without waiting for my response, he stepped backward into his room, and the door closed gently.

I remained standing exactly where I was.

For several long seconds, I simply stared at the closed door, almost expecting it to open again because surely that could not have been the entire conversation. I had walked all the way here expecting at least a few minutes of discussion, and instead everything had ended in less than two. It felt strangely unreal. I was not exactly hurt because Knox had been rude. He hadn’t. If anything, he had been perfectly respectful from beginning to end. Still, there was something about how easily he dismissed the entire conversation that left me feeling oddly empty.

I slowly let out a breath and rubbed my forehead with one hand. Then again, maybe I should not have been surprised. This was Knox. If there was one person capable of ending an emotional conversation before it even

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Marked by the Alpha Team

began, it was him. His nonchalant attitude had always been one of the first things I noticed about him, and somehow, he had managed to meet every expectation I already had. Part of me wondered whether he truly was unaffected by everything or whether he simply preferred dealing with his emotions alone instead of letting anyone see them.

Unfortunately, with Knox, I honestly had no way of knowing.

Finally accepting that there was nothing more I could accomplish by standing outside his room, I slowly turned around, preparing to continue down the hallway toward Orion’s room instead. I had barely taken two steps when I suddenly heard the door behind me open again. I immediately stopped and looked back in surprise. Knox stood in the doorway once more with one hand resting casually against the frame. His expression looked exactly the same as before, making it impossible to tell why he had called me back.

“Are you heading to Orion’s room next?” he asked calmly.

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