My Husband Chose His Ex I Became His Regret novel Chapter 89

Chope!

Chapter 89

Lila

The mansion is really quiet when we get home.

The staff has gone home for the night except for the security people and the huge house is making noises around us like the heating vents and the old wood adjusting to the

temperature.

Aidan loosens his tie as we walk upstairs.

“You were amazing tonight.” He starts.

I let out a laugh. “That sounds like something a business partner would say after evaluation.”

“It was.”

“And?”

“I married a woman who can walk into a room full of people who do not like her and make them think twice.”

He smiles a little. “It is really attractive.”

I feel a warmth in my stomach that I can’t explain.

There is something else underneath that feeling something heavier.

By the time we get to our bedroom I just cannot keep it inside anymore.

“That woman tonight, the one by the window.”

Aidan looks up away from his cufflinks.

“What’s up with her?”

“What about her?” he asks watching me.

“She was looking at me like she knew something I didn’t.”

His face changes a little.

I see it instantly.

There is a pause.

It is tiny. It is real.

Chapter 5

My stomach gets tight.

I say, “Aidan.”

He takes a breath slowly. “Lila…”

“No… don’t do that thing where you decide what I can handle.”

His jaw gets a little tighter.

“She’s connected to Evelyn.”

The name just hangs in the air.

It is sharp and ugly.

I stare at him. “The journalist.”

“Yes.” He answers.

I still feel like he’s hiding something. “Aidan, who’s Evelyn?”

He does not say anything at first.

Then I know.

Not everything,. Enough.

Enough to make me feel scared.

“Aidan.” I start.

He rubs his hand on the back of his neck, which he only does when he does not know what to do.

“She and I dated.” He replies. He sounds almost shy and scared.

Everything just stops.

The room, my breathing, my thoughts.

All of it.

I stare at him waiting for him to explain.

“A year.”

“When?” I ask, I need to know.

Chapter 89

Three years ago.” He answers.

Three years is a long time.

Why is she resurfacing now?

Something terrible twists in my chest.

“And you just forgot to tell me that the woman who is attacking me now is your ex- girlfriend?”

“Lila…” he starts and I immediately cut him off.

“No, absolutely not you do not get to say my name like I am being unreasonable.” How could he keep it away from me!

“I was trying to avoid this reaction.”

I laugh once sharply and back away from him. “You failed.”

His face gets a little harder.

“It was long before I met you.”

“That is not the point.” I was raising my voice now, memories were flooding in, Mark and Sienna.

“She is not a threat.” That’s what they all say, it’s nothing. I trust Aidan, I really do but sometimes I feel like he enjoys hiding things from me.

“You do not get to decide that for me.

The room gets all tense.

Aidan puts his cufflinks down on the dresser carefully. I realize he is getting angry too.

“I omitted it because it was irrelevant.” Irrelevant? His he joking? What part of this seems irrelevant?

“You omitted it because you knew it looked bad.”

“That is not the thing.” So he’s lying now?

“It feels like the thing.”

His jaw gets tight.

“Lila.” He starts.

16:06 Thu, May 21 MM.

Chapter 89

73

15 vouchers

“No explain this to me because I really want to understand how your ex-girlfriend writing articles about me is not important.”

“She is trying to provoke you.”

“And she succeeded because you lied to me.”

“I did not lie.” He defends and I scoff and laugh.

I laugh again not believing him. “That is your defense?”

“You omitted the truth Aidan.”

His eyes flash away. “Don’t twist this.”

“Then stop talking like a man with something to hide.”

The room gets really quiet.

It is heavy and dangerous.

I can see the moment when he realizes what I am saying.

Aidan gets still.

Not cold. Controlled.

“I have never given you a reason to distrust me.”

His voice is really quiet but it does not calm me down.

It makes me feel defensive.

“Well you just gave me one.”

“It wasn’t intentional.” He says slowly.

“You hid this from me.”

“I handled it privately because I did not want you to get hurt by the media.”

“She already hurt me and now it is worse.”

My voice cracks a little. I hate that.

I hate sounding emotional while he sounds calm.

I hate feeling like I’m twenty-three again arguing with a man who makes me feel irrational.

Chapter 89

Aidan sees the change in me away.

His face gets softer.

That makes it worse.

“Don’t look at me like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like you are trying to figure out which part of this is my trauma talking.”

His face falls a little.

“Lila.” He calls softly.

135 vouchers

“Because that is what always happens every time I react to something people start evaluating whether my reaction is good enough to deserve respect.”

He says,

“No one is doing that.”

“You literally kept information from me because you thought I could not handle it.”

“No. Because I knew it would hurt you.”

“That is not your decision to make.”

He gets a little angry. “Fine you want the truth? Evelyn and I ended badly she wanted to get married, I did not, she took it personally. Then you appeared publicly with me less than a year later and she decided to make it a story.”

I feel a pain in my chest.

“So I was a way to make you look good?”

“That is not what I said.” He sounds tired already.

“It is what I heard.”

“You are hearing everything differently tonight.”

“Because every new thing you say just gets worse.”

He runs his hand down his face. I can see how tired he is.

“Christ.”

I hear that sound of frustration and it hurts.

16:06 Thu, May 21

Chapter 89

“You are frustrated with me.”

“I am frustrated that no matter what I say you are determined to think I am betraying you.”

That hits hard because down I know he is right.

Fear is louder.

Fear always is.

“I did not ask to be this person.”

“And I did not ask to be punished for another man’s mistakes.”

The room gets quiet again.

Because there it is, the thing underneath all of this my damage, his exhaustion with carrying

My chest hurts.

Aidan sees it happen. His anger disappears.

“Lila.” He calls out looking sorry and filled with regret.

I shake my head. Step back.

“No it’s fine you are right.”

“I didn’t mean it like that.”

“But you meant it.”

“I meant that I need you to trust who I am.”

“I am trying.”

He says, “I know you are.”

“No you do not understand I am trying all the time every second I am trying not to question things trying not to panic, trying not to be this woman and it is exhausting.”

Aidan’s face changes.

I hate that too being looked at with kindness when I feel nothing inside.

“You think I want to be like this?”

He says, “No.”

16:06 Thu, May 21

Chapter 89

“Do you think I enjoy feeling like I can be replaced every time another woman comes up?”

“No.”

He comes over to me and holds my wrists gently.

“Look at me.”

I do not want to. I make myself.

His eyes are fierce.

“There is no universe where you’re replaceable, to me.”

My throat hurts.

“I will say that in ten years.”

“You cannot promise that.”

“Yes I can.”He promises.

Emotion hits me hard. I almost look away.

He keeps looking at me.

“She is my past ” he says in a voice. “You are my wife. Those are not the same things.”

“So why do you keep hiding things from me? why am I so scared of this?” I ask him.

“Because it is scary to love someone when you have been hurt before ” he says.

He touches my wrists with his thumbs. It feels gentle.

“But you are still here with me ” he says. “That means something.”

I close my eyes for a moment.

“I do not know how to make this work ” I say.

“There is no one way to do it ” he says. “We just have to be honest and try again when things are bad.”

I take a breath and it comes out shaky.

“I need you to always be honest with me.” I remind him.

“I will” he says.

16:06 Thu, May

Chapter 89

“I made things worse “I say.

“We both did “he says.

73

135 voushers

The way he talks about it makes me feel worse than if he was just trying to make me feel better.

He is not saying everything is okay when it is not.

He is not saying I did not hurt him.

“I hate that I still think you will leave me ” I say quietly.

Aidan puts his arms around me slowly like I might break.

“Let me show you that I will not leave ” he says.

He holds me. Does not try to rush me or fix me.

And as I stand there listening to his heart beat I realize something that’s not easy to hear:

Love does not make the bad things go away.

It just gives us a way to deal with the things.

Later after we stop arguing and things get quieter I stand by the window. Look out at the lake.

It is snowing outside. It looks pretty.

Aidan is behind me. He is getting ready for the night.

I hear the drawer close. His watch hit the table.

I hear his clothes rustle.

These are the sounds of being married.

My heart still hurts.

The fun part of being married is over.

This is the part I never imagined with him.

This is the part, with exes and people talking about us and being scared and getting hurt.

I lean my head against the window and watch the snow fall.

Then I think something that scares me:

16:06 Thu, May 21 MM.

Chapter 89

What if love is not enough to get us through these times?

ཐ

35 vouch