My Second Chance Mate is a Barbarian (Sera and Fenris) novel Chapter 464

Kane

I was settling Elara into our bed, the pillows stacked behind her back, the blanket pulled up to her chin. I set a glass of water on the nightstand. Her eyes stared vacantly at the wall as I bustled around her. She was limp and quiet, no protests or questions, just silence.

When my hands touched her hip to straighten the blanket, she stiffened imperceptibly. I took it for grief. What else could it be? My Elara, my Elara who laughed and swayed her hips to the music, who pressed into my touch and my scent... Elara, gone. In her place this shell of a woman, this ghost of my Luna.

"Rest," I murmured, brushing a strand of hair from her forehead. "You don't have to do anything. Just rest."

Elara blinked twice but said nothing. I sighed and turned away, pulling open the door. The woman from the staff waited patiently in the hall.

"Whatever the Luna needs, she gets," I instructed quietly. "Nobody disturbs her. And not one word about the pup to anyone in the pack. Not yet."

The woman nodded quickly. "Yes sir."

I closed the door and leaned against it, my eyes on Elara. The Moon Goddess help me... how was I going to fix this?

Somehow, the rest of the day passed, a blur of numb activity. I'd been going through the motions, pretending to be alright, for the sake of my pack. But the moment I stepped into the nursery, it all came crashing down.

I'd spent so many hours in this room, meticulously building the crib, the rocking chair, painting the stars across the ceiling. Imagining my son sleeping peacefully under that celestial expanse. And now... now it was all for nothing.

I sank to my knees on the hardwood floor, my fists clenched, my head bowed. A low, guttural howl ripped from my throat and I let it consume me, allowed the grief to wash over me. My body quaked with every gut-wrenching sob, tears streaming down my face and smearing my vision.

I reached out a trembling hand to touch the crib's smooth wood, running my fingers over the intricate carvings I'd lovingly crafted. This was supposed to be my son's sanctuary. My safe haven for him.

And I'd failed him. Failed to protect him, abandoned him. A mournful cry escaped my lips and I curled forward, my forehead pressed against the crib's rail, my arms wrapped tight around myself. I couldn't hold it back any longer. My heart was shattered, bleeding, and all I could do was weep for the son I was never going to have. For the future I was never going to see.

For the nursery that would always be empty.

Every mistake I'd made, every wrong turn, it all led to this moment. I'd thrown away my own mate for the chance at an heir. Given up everything that mattered just to have a child with Elara. And now the child was gone. Dead before he could even draw breath.

Tears streamed down my face as the weight of my choices crashed over me.

And Elara... I had no idea what I felt about her anymore. All I knew was that I couldn't bear to look at her right now.

So I'd spent the day tending to her needs, fetching her tea, stroking her hair, anything to keep from sinking into the emptiness gnawing at my insides. Anything to avoid confronting the aching hollowness that had taken up residence in my chest.

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