Perfect Bastard (by Mary D. Sant) novel Chapter 114

Chapter 114: It Still Hurts

ELLIE

I frowned in confusion. Why was he asking me that? Did it have

something to do with another business trip? The thought alone made

me uneasy.

“Why are you asking that?”

“I’m trying to figure out if you liked it and if you’d want to get to

know it better.”

“What does that mean?”

“Neil and Rosie decided to spend New Year’s in the countryside, and I

thought we could join them. Looks like Jason and Phillipa are going

too.”

“What about the others? Didn’t they invite them?”

“I don’t know. Why? Are you going to miss Zoe?” he teased.

“On second thought, it seems better this way,” I laughed. “Don’t get

me wrong, I love her, but we both know how persistent she can be.”

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“Yeah, but I’m pretty sure we can find better things to do than talk

about Zoe,” he said, beginning to move his hips between my legs.

“Don’t you want to know my answer?” I bit my lip, trying to control

my breathing.

“You can talk while I do this.”

“I don’t think so.”

“Want me to stop?”

“No. I don’t. But we have to if you want an answer.”

“I can wait until tomorrow.”

“Ethan…”

“Let’s not ruin Christmas, remember?”

“I’m sorry, but I can’t with all these things in my head.”

“Okay.” He stopped. “What’s bothering you?”

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, trying to clear my mind and

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calm my desire. Placing my hand on his chest, I gently pushed him

away so he would get off me.

When he did, I slid up to the headboard, pulling the sheet over my

body. He shifted on the bed, moving closer to sit beside me.

“I’m sorry… It’s just that you’re inviting me on a trip, but we just

argued because of Todd, and I think we really should take things

slow.”

“You know, that whole ‘taking it slow‘ thing is just because you’re

scared. But we’re way past that now, love,” he said, looking into my eyes. “I understand that you can’t fully trust me right now, but in time, you’ll see you can. I’ll be patient, and for everything else, we’ll

make it work.”

“You make it sound so simple.”

“I just know I can’t be without you, so please, I just need a leap of

faith.”

“I want to. I really do, but…” A lump formed in my throat, and a familiar pain resurfaced, tightening my chest.

“Please, don’t cry,” he reached for my face, caressing it.

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“I always knew you had issues, because of your past… the fear, the

insecurity. You always said I deserved better… but you made me

believe you wanted this, that you’d give it your best, and I believed it

because I wanted it so much too. Then you gave up. You left me… And

it hurt in a way I can’t even describe. It still hurts,” I confesseELLIE

I fought to resist, trying to focus on my anger and all the insults, but

it was useless. All I could feel was his scent wrapping around me and

the heat of his large, warm body pressing against mine.

The way he was pulling my hair and grinding against my ass was

driving me crazy.

“Like this… docile and submissive, like a good girl,” he whispered, his

deep, slightly husky voice dripping with desire. “You know this is

where you belong.”

“Fuck off,” I shot back, clinging to the last shred of reason I had left.

“You should be more careful with your words. I can make you regret

every single one of them,” he threatened, his lips brushing against my

ear.

Then he released my hair, pulling the shirt down from my shoulders

and arms, yanking it off from behind. A second later, I felt his cock

slide against my ass, hot and thick, making his threat crystal clear.

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I closed my eyes, feeling my desire grow, becoming urgent.

“What do you think you’re doing?” I questioned, even though my

body was begging him to keep going, desperate to feel him inside me.

“You’re such a depraved bastard.”

The next moment, he thrust into me roughly, making me shudder

with a mix of pain and pleasure.

“Fuck…” I swore.

“Shhh.”

Leaning over me again, he grabbed a fistful of my hair with one hand and, when he reached my limit, he slowly withdrew. “If you want me somewhere else, all you have to do is ask,” he teased, slamming into

me again, hard and fast.

“No,” I murmured, losing my grip on reason.

I could feel every inch of him. His movements quickly became wild, increasingly brutal, while the sound of his deep, raspy moans drove

me insane.

With every thrust, the rising, delicious sensation built inside me,

leaving me desperate for more.

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“Ethan…” I moaned, feeling my body consumed by pleasure.

“Where’s that righteous bitch now?” he growled in my ear, pushing

me further as he buried himself to my limit. “No resistance? No

insults?” He yanked my hair.

But I could barely process his words; they only made me more

aroused and lost.

“Please…”

“Yes… we both know all I need is my cock to tame you,” he said,

pulling my hair harder with a violent thrust.

“Oh my God!” I writhed under him, my skin tingling.

Letting go of my hair, he pressed my head gently into the mattress

while moaning in a way that was deliciously dizzying. My body felt

like it was about to combust.

“Are you listening to me?” he asked, whispering in my ear.

I nodded, dazed.

“I want you to come for me,” he said, sliding a hand under my body.

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Finding my clit, he started circling it slowly with a finger, matching

the rhythm of his thrusts.

My insides began pulsing faster and harder, and I gripped the sheets

tightly, writhing as my entire body tensed. Breathless, I moaned,

burying my face in the sheets. My heart was pounding.

Ethan quickened the pace of his fingers but kept thrusting into me

slowly. I wanted to scream. It was so good it was maddening. I

moaned desperately, feeling my mind unravel.

“Now,” he ordered in a whisper, the sound seeming distant.

Then, as if he had complete control over my body, I shattered.

Pleasure rippled through my skin like a wave of heat, pulsing and

tingling.

I felt my insides clench uncontrollably, and my entire body trembled

and tightened before being overwhelmed by the delicious sensation

of pure ecstasy. I let myself drown in it.

Ethan followed shortly after, exploding with one last slow thrust as

he moaned. I felt his heavy, warm, sweaty body tense before

collapsing on top of me, releasing all his tension inside me as he

pressed his face into my back.

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“Fuck,” he growled, breathless, amidst deep, guttural moans.

I savored the feeling of his body covering mine as my breathing

slowed. We stayed in silence for some time. Then the guilt hit me. I

should never have said those things.

“I love you,” I said. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean any of it.”

His large hand covered mine on the bed.

“Neither did I.”

“No, you’re right.”

“It’s okay.”

“No, I should support you. I’m sorry.”

2

“Hey…” He moved off me, lying down on my left side. “Don’t blame

yourself, Believe me, I get it. I know you have reasons to be afraid of

trusting me again. But we’ll make this work.”

I nodded.

“Thank you.”

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“Don’t thank me for that.”

“Why not?” I asked, sitting up and crawling to straddle him. “You’re

so understanding…” I said, leaning forward with my hands on his chest. “So sweet and submissive.” I teased. “Like a good boy.” I laughed. “This is where you belong.”

“Okay, very funny,” he chuckled before sitting up and wrapping his hands around my waist. “The difference is I can make you wet.”

“Sure.” I stood up, laughing. “How about… we both know all I need is

my vagina to tame you.” I couldn’t help but burst into laughter. “God!

That sounds awful!”

He laughed, lying back on the bed with his arms crossed behind his

head.

“Maybe if you replaced vagina with pussy-”

“No!” I interrupted, heading toward the bathroom. “Pervert,” I

muttered,

“I heard that.”

“Good!” I replied before stepping inside.

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When I returned, he wasn’t in the room. Walking to the bed, I picked

up the white shirt, checking to see if it was clean before starting to

put it back on.

“You don’t need that,” he said, entering the room and making me

turn toward him.

He was carrying a bottle of wine in one hand and two glasses in the

other, wearing the red hat again. It made me smile.

“I must’ve been a very good girl this year.” I gave up buttoning the

shirt, focusing on him.

“Were you? I have my doubts,” he teased, placing the bottle and

glasses on a side table.

“Then what’s the explanation for receiving a gift like this?”

“A gift?” He stepped closer, raising an eyebrow. “I just punished you.”

“That’s true. So I guess I’ve been a very bad girl.”

“Call me Krampus,” he said suggestively, stopping in front of me.

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“Does that mean you’re going to keep punishing me?” I bit my lip,

placing my hands on his broad chest.

“Absolutely.” Grabbing my hips, he pulled me against his body and

kissed me deeply, pulling the shirt off me again. “But before you start,

I know we still need to talk about that. Just not tonight,” he said,

pulling back slightly.

I nodded.

“Because you don’t want to ruin Christmas?” I teased, raising an

eyebrow.

“Let’s just say that, but also because I’m still hungry,” he explained

before grabbing my ass and lifting me, capturing my lips again.

Taking a step, he laid me on the bed, settling between my legs.

Suddenly, something occurred to me. I pulled back, slightly

breathless.

“Wait… I just remembered you said you wanted to ask me

something.”

“Oh, that.” He sighed. “I guess we can leave that for later, too.”

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“No. I want to know.”

He sighed again.

“Okay,” he relented. “I know you didn’t spend much time there, but…

what did you think of London?”

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9/9

d,

feeling tears well up in my eyes. “I’m not saying I didn’t make

mistakes, but I thought I was doing my best. But we both know this

was always about what happened to you in the past, not about Todd

or your work trips. It’s always been about what she did to you.”

“Yes, you’re right. I’m sorry for hurting you, for not being strong or

brave enough to face it sooner. I’ll never forgive myself for causing

you pain, or for almost losing you. But you were also my biggest

reason to confront it. You said you’d wait for me, and here I am, ready

to beg for the chance to prove I’m ready. No promises this time–I

just want you to let me show you.”

“I’m just… scared.”

“Please, don’t cry. We’re together again, and that’s all that matters.

I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere. I just need you to believe in

me.”