Perfect Bastard (by Mary D. Sant) novel Chapter 145

Chapter 145: The Weight of My

Failure

Chapter 145: The Weight of My Failure

ETHAN

The baby… Our baby…

I looked at Ben, still refusing to believe it, feeling my throat tighten.

As hard as it was, I needed to accept what this meant.

I had failed. Once again. I failed in my promise to be by her side and

to protect her. I failed miserably, and there was nothing I could do to

fix it.

It was hard not to break down in front of Ben, feeling the pain and guilt consume every part of my being. But I didn’t have that right.

Not now.

So, swallowing all the emotions that threatened to make me fall apart, I forced my legs to move, entering the hospital.

1/8

Chapter 145: The Weight of My Failure”

Nothing else mattered. Only seeing her. Knowing she was okay.

“Stay calm, she already knows you’re okay,” Ben said, following me

through the reception area.

“I need to see her.”

“Ethan…” The sweet and familiar voice sounded, making me stop and

drawing my attention to one of the corners of the waiting room.

It was my mother, and she wasn’t alone. My father, Zoe, Will, Anna,

Zara, and Jack were also present, all standing up from where they

were seated upon seeing me.

But it was the reddened eyes and tears on my mother’s face that

almost made me lose control as I approached her.

I struggled to keep the tears from overflowing, trying to swallow and

hide how devastated I was inside.

“I’m sorry,” I said, receiving her in a tight hug.

“My love…” She murmured, crying softly against my chest.

It was painful to see her like that, and imagining what she had

suffered because of me only made me feel even worse.

218

Chapter 145: The Weight of My Failure

“I’m okay,” I murmured, trying to reassure her, her crying tearing

apart what was left of my heart.

“We thought…”

“I know. I’m sorry for that.”

I allowed her to hug me for a while longer as the others waited

patiently.

2

I knew they would delay me when all I wanted was to run to Ellie, but

I couldn’t simply ignore their tears and the terror they had gone

through, no matter how much I wanted to.

“I’m okay. I’m sorry for making you worry,” I said, addressing

everyone when my mother let go of me, allowing my father to step

forward to take her place.

“I’m sorry, Dad, but I need to see her…” I said, accepting his hug.

“Alright, go,” he agreed, stepping back.

“Where is she?” I asked, approaching Zoe, who was crying. “Please,

take me to her,” I asked as I hugged her, trying to comfort her.

*

3/8

Chapter 145: The Weight of My Failure

I hesitated for a second, holding the doorknob of the room,

overwhelmed by guilt and shame.

How was I going to face her now?

Shit. It doesn’t matter. This wasn’t the time for that. The least I could

do now was be by her side and beg for her forgiveness.

Lying in bed, she immediately broke down upon seeing me enter. And,

as much as I wanted to be strong, I couldn’t hold back any longer.

Closing the door behind me, I approached, feeling the tears overflow

and my chest tighten in a crushing way upon seeing her state.

She was completely pale, except for the area around her eyes. They

were also red, confirming that she had cried for hours.

“I’m sorry,” I said, leaning in to gently wrap her in my arms.

I could feel her body trembling, despite the strength with which her

arms held me back.

“Please, forgive me,” I pleaded, feeling devastated, imagining what

she had gone through because of me.

I could never forgive myself for this.

4/8

Chapter 145: The Weight of My Failure”

“I thought…” She murmured amidst the tears, her hands clutching

the fabric of my shirt. “I thought I had lost you.”

“I know… It’s my fault. I’m sorry, love.”

“Please, tell me this is real… That you’re really here,” she asked,

bringing more tears to my eyes.

“I am. I’m with you, and I’m not going anywhere… ever again,” I

assured her.

Letting the silence settle, I stroked her hair, trying to calm her. My

tears ceased as her crying diminished, but my pain remained, as did

her hands, clinging to me.

“I wanted to die,” she confessed, turning her face to rest her head

against my chest.

Hearing her say those words was like having a knife plunged into my

chest.

“Don’t say that.”

“I can’t live without you, I can’t…”

“You don’t have to. I’m here,” I said, holding her face in any hands to

5/8

Chapter 145: The Weight of My Failure”

meet her gaze. “Please, forgive me,” I pleaded.

“You came back to me, that’s all that matters.”

“No… All of this… is my fault. If I had been here…”

“I just need you,” she hugged me again, tightly, as if she still wasn’t

entirely convinced that I had returned.

She was still weak and clearly disturbed, and I couldn’t even imagine

all the fear and physical pain she had faced alone. Seeing her like that

was killing me inside.

Taking a deep breath, I tried to prevent the tears from coming again.

“You better lie down… you need to rest,” I said, concerned.

“Please, don’t ask me to let go of you now.”

“I promise I’m not going anywhere. From now on, all that matters to

me is taking care of you… I think it’s the only thing I can do after

making you go through all this,” I said, feeling a lump form in my

throat.

“It’s not your fault…” she said, pulling her face away to look me in

the eyes. “Actually…” She hesitated, looking away, the tears

VERIFYCAPTCHA_LABELVerify