Pursuing My Rejected Luna by Cara Anderson novel Chapter 251

Ch. 23

Cassandra

The sound of the door slamming closed echoes through the room, making me flinch. I’ll let you know. What the hell am I supposed to do with that?

I can barely move. I’m trapped here in this bed, in this room that is his, and all I can do is wait and hope he doesn’t throw me to the wolves again, literally. At least he seems inclined to let me heal first. I hope.

Still, I can’t stop myself from obsessing over what happens if he says no. I’ve already seen what happens when I’m left to figure something out on my own. The thought that we might not be so lucky next time sends a chill down my spine. If broken ribs, a punctured lung, and more cuts and bruises than I can count can be considered lucky.

Then again, I’m not sure staying here is any safer. Physically, sure. I don’t think Noah would ever put his hands on me. But the potential damage to my heart is another story.

The pull of the bond has been intense since I re-entered Ironwood and only seems to be growing stronger. At least for me. I don’t think Noah feels it all, and why would he? He rejected me, after all,

My mind unhelpfully supplies the image of him settling into the chair next to my bed, looking completely comfortable there. And the blanket thrown over the arm like maybe he’d slept next to me. I shove it down deep, because I won’t go there. I can’t. Whatever I think I saw, it’s just the bond reading into things.

“You will not go there, Cassie girl!” I give myself a stern talking to. “Whatever the bond is doing-whatever my wolf is saying, I do not have the right to act on any of it.”

If he lets us stay at all, it will be under conditions designed to ensure I don’t do what I did the last time I was here. I will not humiliate myself any further by giving in to whatever biology. And that’s all this is… biology.

It doesn’t get to override what I owe him, which is the complete absence of any more bullshit from me. No calculation. No angling. No using what I know about people to manage outcomes in my favor.

If he lets us stay, I stay on whatever terms he gives me. I keep every one of them and I don’t let the bond become

an issue. I mean this.

At least I lie awake and tell myself I do until almost dawn.

I startle again when I hear the soft snick of the door opening. Then I hear small footsteps approaching and relief floods me anew. Liam appears beside the bed and I feel like I can finally breathe again

“Hi, baby.” I coo at him, keeping any evidence of pain off my face. “I missed you so much!”

He’s trailing his small blanket-the one he’s carried since he was two, that has been washed so many times the edges have gone soft. He looks at me in the dark with indecision and I nod, giving him the permission he’s looking for. Then he climbs up in the bed and snuggles into my side.

“I missed you too, mama.” He squeezes a little harder and I bite my cheek so I don’t wince. “I told the lady I needed to check on you,”

“What lady?” My wolf snarls at the mention of someone we don’t know mothering our child.

“The cook lady.” He sounds satisfied. “She said okay.”

“Did she,” I can’t hide the irritation in my tone.

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“Mm.” He pulls his blanket over both of us. “You were sleeping a long time.”

know. I’m sorry, baby.” I hate that I left him alone so long.

“It’s okay. I ate eggs,” he states happily, like the opportunity for an actual meal that isn’t from a vending machine makes the whole ordeal worth it. Guilt assaults me again. “They were good.”

He closes his eyes like the matter is settled. Like he came to check on me and I’m here and that’s the full resolution of the situation.

I lie in the dark with his weight against my side and the bond humming in my veins, pulling me toward somewhere in another part of the house and the still outstanding verdict.

Watching my son dozing peacefully at my side renews my resolve. Whatever Noah decides, I think. I have to make this work. I have to. I don’t know exactly how. But I didn’t know how six months ago either, and I figured it out- badly, wrongly, in ways that cost everyone, but I figured something out.

This time I’ll do things differently. This time I keep the promises I made to Liam in the visitor hold. The ones about not doing what I did before. About being better. But I will figure it out. I don’t have a choice.

I lie awake with this for a long time. When sleep finally comes, it comes the way it does when something held very tight finally loosens-all at once, and deep. The deepest I’ve slept in months.

I refuse to ask myself why.

Cara Anderson Author

Thank you for reading!

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