Pursuing My Rejected Luna by Cara Anderson novel Chapter 267

Ch. 37

Noah

I stomp into my office, unreasonably pissed off at my current circumstances. Those circumstances being the raging hard–on I’m sporting, from nothing more than breathing in Cassandra’s luscious whipped cream and caramel scent in the hallway. All I have to do is get the slightest whiff of it and I’m instantly rock solid

It’s the thing I’ve refused to acknowledge since the day she walked back into my life and I stood outside the visitor hold, willing my erection to go down. But I’ve been walking around in a perpetual state of arousal for weeks now. And quite frankly, it’s getting painful.

Not to mention, sooner or later, someone’s going to notice. And I’ll be damned if I let that person be her.

“Long day?” Piper pokes her head in my office door. “You have a pained look on your face.”

Fuck me! I discreetly palm my dick under my desk, silently pleading with the fucker to give it up. The last thing I need is to have to explain the tent in my pants to my ‘maybe, maybe not‘ girlfriend with whom I haven’t even been to second base.

Piper does this sometimes–just shows up out of nowhere because she enjoys my company, her words, and wants to check in. She leans in the doorway with the relaxed smile she always seems to wear, not needing anything, just present.

“Long week.” I wrench my thoughts away from the problem in my pants long enough to form a coherent

response.

“It’s Wednesday.” She snorts.

“Yeah,” I chuckle. “Like I said, long week.”

She rolls her eyes, her smile growing wider. “Dinner?”

“Definitely,” I agree easily. “Give me twenty minutes.” I shuffle some papers around, and if she thinks I need that twenty minutes to finish up work and not to relieve myself of my current case of blue balls, so be it.

She goes to wait in the common area. I spend the next fifteen minutes reminding myself of all the reasons not to give in to the need Cassandra’s scent creates, then the last five minutes doing it anyway.

It’s ridiculous how little I actually need to touch my cock to make myself come after fighting the way her scent imbeds itself under my skin. And that thought pisses me off all over again. Almost as much as Cassandra refusing to look at me when we passed in the hall.

“Fuuuccck!” I growl, slamming my cum–slicked hand on my desk to get the frustration out of my system.

Then I clean myself up and go find Piper.

The evening is good. Really good. She’s always such easy company and I can admit how much I need easy when everything else in my life is so goddess–damned complicated. The conversation flows and she makes me laugh which is something I can admit I don’t do often enough.

I’m glad I came. But as much as I’m glad, I’m also acutely aware that any kind of physical attraction doesn’t come naturally the way it does from just breathing in my so–called mate’s presence. Of course, I don’t tell Piper this.

That doesn’t mean we can’t get there, I tell myself.

With that thought in mind, I invite Piper back to the Alpha house with me once again. Coming back through the main hall, Piper tucks herself into my side and I let her, trying to lean into the feeling of her body against mine.

Then I see her.

Piper turns to straddle me, grinding her pussy over my crotch while we make out. I breathe deep, searching for the hint of Cassandra’s scent that’s slowly begun to permeate my home, only growing hard when I find it and part of me secretly wishing for more. Piper notices the difference and moans, grinding harder against the straining bulge in my pants.

And I realize in that moment, yes, I am going to hell.

Later, after Piper has gone home and the house is quiet, I sit and think about what kind of man performs affection deliberately to cause pain to someone who can’t call him on it. I don’t have a comfortable answer.

I also know that I just used Piper–who doesn’t know she’s being used, let alone what she’s being used for–to inflict pain on someone else. Piper, who deserves someone who is actually choosing her rather than constantly thinking about how to hurt someone else.

Neither version of myself in this analysis is someone I’m comfortable being. At some point, I’m going to have to tell Piper the truth, especially if I decide to make her my chosen Luna. But fuck if that’s a conversation I know how to have.

It’s late night and I’m still awake when Cole comes back. I thought he was done for the day and he probably didn’t expect me to still be up. But when he sees me sitting here, he makes a b–line straight for me, a man with something to say that he’s just decided can’t wait.

“Piper asked me something today,” he starts immediately, no preamble. “She asked if Cassandra was someone you knew from before.” He pauses to let that permeate. “I think she’s noticed. The way you are around her.”

“What way,” I pretend not to understand the reference.

“She didn’t specify but she didn’t need to.” He pins me with a don’t be daft look. “She’s not stupid, Noah.”

“No,” I sigh tiredly. “She isn’t.”

“What are you going to do, Noah? You can’t play this game forever. It’s going to bite you in the ass eventually.”

As if I needed the reminder. I look at the drawing on my desk, Liam’s makeshift family.

“I don’t know yet,” I lean my head back on a groan, as if the ceiling holds the answer.

Cole nods. “Figure it out before she figures it out herself,” he offers sagely. “That’s my advice. If she starts asking questions to the wrong people. Eventually she’ll ask the right ones. You don’t want her to hear it from someone else. Even if you don’t have a future together, that’s just needlessly hurtful. And I know that’s not who you are.”

Message delivered, he leaves and I sit alone, pondering his words. Piper has noticed and that means my timeline for honesty has shrunk considerably.

I haven’t given her honesty. I’ve given her a few enjoyable evenings and easy company and affection that’s only semi–real but isn’t complete. And now she’s asking Cole about Cassandra Winters and I’m sitting in my office with a crayon drawing and two years, optimistically, and the knowledge that the woman I rejected is slowing my deterioration just by being in the same building.

I haven’t decided what to do with any of it.

I need to figure it the fuck out.