Pursuing My Rejected Luna by Cara Anderson novel Chapter 284

Ch. 54

Noah

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Piper is in the Alpha house when I get back from my appointment with Dr. Lukas. With the mood I’m in, the jury is out on whether or not that’s a good thing. But I’m not surprised to see her there.

She’s made herself comfortable in the common area connected to my office-she does this sometimes, brings work of her own and keeps me company while I deal with whatever I’m dealing with. I find her curled up on the couch with a book and a cup of tea, and she looks up when I come in with the easy smile, the one she reserves just for me. And I find it does soothe me a little.

“You look like you need food,” she observes. “Have you eaten?”

‘Six months, possibly eight.’ is playing through my head on repeat and I have to force myself to focus on her words.

“Uh, not since this morning,” I stammer.

“Sit,” she orders, doing her best to look stern. “I’ll get something from the kitchen.”

She goes in search of sustenance and I sit at my desk and look at the operational files I’m supposed to be reviewing. One documented case. I open the top file. One wolf. I read the first paragraph. Sixty years ago.

It’s almost a relief when Piper returns. I can’t focus on work when my conversation with Sera occupies every other thought.

She comes back with two plates-she must have raided Mara’s evening prep because she produces something that smells significantly better than what I would have made myself.

“What happened?” She stops what she’s doing and focuses on my face that must be giving something away.

“Medical check-in,” I go with a partial truth. “Routine.” I guess that part is mostly true as well. My visits have become routine now.

“Oo-kaay,” she draws the word out, which means she knows I’m not giving her the full truth and she’s choosing not to push tonight. She sits beside me and puts her plate in her lap and says: “Tell me something good. The Reeves situation. That’s been going well, hasn’t it? There haven’t been any more lockdowns.”

“Yes,” I answer between bites, hungrier than I thought. “The timing pattern has been addressed. The next skirmish, if it comes, won’t have the same advantage.”

“Good.” She tilts her head against my shoulder briefly-easy contact, the kind that’s become natural. “See? Something good.”

Our fated bond is down the hall. And she’s been having coffee with Jack. My wolf pushes the thought through to me but I push right back.

I don’t want to think about that. I want to enjoy a meal with my chosen mate. I let her calming presence soothe me, steady things, make the room warmer. It works, some.

Later, when the files are put away and the plates are gone and we’ve moved from the desk to the couch, which happens sometimes on the evenings she stays late. She presses close to me, the warmth of her body next to mine, and she turns toward me with that look in her eye-the decided one she gets when she’s determined to have me- and I don’t pull back.

Her hand finds my jaw. “Still here,” she says quietly. Not a question. A check.

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“Still here,” I murmur, running my nose along the sensitive spot behind her ear.

Mean it. I chose her and I’m still convinced it’s the right choice. But in the back of my mind, I’m also doing the math. I hate that I am but I can’t seem to stop.

One case, one wolf, sixty years ago, unknown circumstances. My mouth finds hers and for a while the arithmetic goes quiet, the way it does when something immediate takes over. Her hands in my hair. The specific warmth of her, familiar now, chosen.

Whether I’ve been choosing the easier option or the right one.

I pull her closer. I mean to be present and I am present. Both of those things are true simultaneously and I’m learning that true things don’t cancel each other out, they just coexist whether you want them to or not.

She falls asleep against me later. After we’ve made love. I wish I could sleep too, let the weight of her in my arms drag me under with her. But I can’t stop doing the math.

One documented case. I’ve been treating that as a reasonable foundation because the alternative requires things I haven’t fully offered yet-forgiveness I’ve told myself I don’t have, trust I’ve told myself she hasn’t earned, could never earn. I’ve been choosing Piper because choosing Piper doesn’t require me to give anything I’m not ready to give. May never be ready to give.

Whether that’s choosing the option that’s easier or the option that’s right. I don’t have an answer.

Piper breathes, even and deep, against my side. I told her I’d be honest with her. She asked for that specifically- no more learning things from other people. The full picture.

The full picture includes a two-year diagnosis narrowing to six months before I have to bond someone. The full picture includes the fact that Cassandra’s presence in Ironwood is the reason that timeline hasn’t already collapsed. Because we still share a bond somehow, despite my rejection. How do I tell her something like that?

Piper wakes up in the early hours of the morning and decides to go home-she has an early start, she says, kisses me at the door, walks out easy and uncomplicated. I can’t sleep anyway so I sit at my desk with the operational files I still haven’t fully reviewed, determined to actually read them this time.

I startle when there’s a knock on the door and look up to find Cole standing there. Because of course he’s awake at this hour. He comes in and sits without an invitation.

“Piper’s good for you,” he says. No preamble. Just the thing he feels compelled to say at the ass crack of dawn.

“I know,” I even manage a small smile.

“She’s steady. Easy to get along with. And the pack likes her.” He runs down the list of all her positive qualities.

“Do you actually have anything useful to say, or did you just come to tell me things I already know?” I tease.

“Noah.” He crosses his arms, wearing his serious expression.

“I’m fine, Cole,” I insist.

“I know.” He stands. “That’s not what I was going to say.”

He crosses to the door. Pauses with his hand on the frame.

“Cassandra had coffee with Jack Morrow today,” he says. “It wasn’t the first time.”

He tosses me a knowing smirk and leaves before I can throw him out. I growl and shove the files away, more thoughts I don’t want to have making it impossible to focus.

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