Because tomorrow I’d get in his car. Tomorrow I’d go to Boston.
Tomorrow I’d walk straight back into the nightmare I’d spent three
years trying to escape.
And this time, I knew exactly what was waiting for me.
The knock came at 6:00 AM.
I was already awake, already dressed in the navy sheath dress Mamá
had picked out. Professional. Modest. The kind of thing a proper
young lady wore to a business dinner.
Mamá burst through the door, her face alight with that awful mixture
of hope and calculation I remembered too well.
“Mr. Vane just told me! You’re going to Boston! Oh, gracias a Dios, I
knew you’d come to your senses-”
“I’m going because I was ordered to,” I interrupted, keeping my voice
flat. “Not because I want to.”
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Chapter 18
She waved this away, already pulling clothes from my closet, rejecting
this blouse, approving that cardigan. “It doesn’t matter why! What
matters is you’ll be there, with him, away from that… that perra—”
“Don’t.” I caught her wrist. “Don’t do this again.”
But she wasn’t listening, was already spinning fantasies: Julian would
see me in a new light, away from the family, away from Sloane’s
interference. The Kennedy dinner would be my chance to shine, to
prove myself, to finally–finally–make him see me as more than the
housekeeper’s daughter.
I let her talk. There was no point arguing. She needed this fantasy the
way an addict needs a fix, and I’d learned long ago that you can’t save
someone who’s drowning if they keep pulling you under.
“Mamá.” I waited until she looked at me. “If something happens in
Boston-”
“Nothing will happen! You’ll be wonderful, you’ll—”
“If something happens,” I continued, my voice hard, “don’t believe
what they tell you. Don’t believe Julian. Don’t believe the Vanes. And
don’t…” My throat tightened. “Don’t let them send me away.”
Her face crumpled. “Why would you say that? Why would—”
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Chapter 18
“Just promise me.”
But she couldn’t. I could see it in her eyes–the same weakness that
had always been there, the same desperate need to believe that if we
just tried hard enough, sacrificed enough, debased ourselves enough,
they might finally accept us.
She pulled me into a hug instead, and I let her, even though I felt
nothing. Even though I knew that when the moment came–when
Julian accused me of whatever he planned to accuse me of–she
wouldn’t fight for me.
She never had before.
The black Mercedes waited in the circular drive.
Julian stood beside it in a charcoal suit, phone to his ear, conducting
business with the casual authority of someone who’d never doubted
his right to command. He didn’t look at me as I approached, just
gestured toward the car with one hand while closing a deal worth
more than my entire existence with the other.
I climbed into the back seat. He followed a moment later, maintaining
the maximum possible distance between us.
The driver pulled away from Blackwood Estate, and I watched it
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Chapter 18
disappear in the side mirror–all those Gothic windows, all those
rooms full of people who would never love me, shrinking into the
October fog.
“Ground rules,” Julian said, not looking up from his phone. “At the
dinner, you speak when spoken to. You don’t mention our…
relationship. You certainly don’t mention any of your previous
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