Chapter 9
Elara
The hallway stretched before me–red mahogany panels gleaming
under crystal chandeliers, Persian runners muffling footsteps, oil
paintings of dead Vanes watching from gilded frames. I’d walked this
corridor a thousand times. In my previous life, I’d run down it at
dawn to deliver Julian’s coffee before he left for work.
Now each step felt like walking away from a grave.
“Elara!”
The voice came from the servants‘ stairwell–sharp, panicked,
desperate.
I turned. Mamá burst through the narrow door, still wearing her gray
cleaning uniform. Rubber gloves yellow with dish soap. Hair escaping
from her tight bun. She grabbed my wrist hard enough to leave marks,
“Are you crazy?” Her accent thickened with agitation. “I was outside
the door! I heard everything! Why did you refuse to go to Boston?
Why did you give back the necklace?”
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I pulled my arm free, leaving red crescents where her nails had dug
“Your GPA?” She laughed–a high, brittle sound. “Dios mío, what GPA
matters more than Julian? Elara, the Kennedy gala–do you know
what kind of opportunity that is? All those important people, and if
you’re there beside him, everyone will think you’re his-
“His what?” The words came out flat. Dead. “His girlfriend? His
companion? His pet?”
She flinched. “Don’t talk like that. You know what I mean. If you just
try harder, if you show him-”
“Show him what?” My voice cracked. “Mamá, I’ve spent a year showing him. Every morning at 5 AM, making his coffee. Learning about jazz because he mentioned Miles Davis once. Wearing colors I thought
he’d like. Not making friends because I was too busy being available
for him.”
I could see her mouth opening to protest, so I pressed on. “And you
know what he showed me? That he finds me disgusting. That I’m beneath his notice. That I’m-” I choked on the word. “-nothing to
him.”
“You’re giving up.” Her eyes filled with tears. “After everything. After a
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whole year of trying, you’re just giving up?”
In my previous life, those tears would have broken me. Made me
apologize, promise to try harder, agree to go to Boston.
Now I just felt tired.
“I’m not giving up, Mamá. I’m waking up.”
My bedroom door clicked shut behind me. Twenty square meters of
space that wasn’t quite servant quarters but wasn’t quite family either–the perfect metaphor for my existence at Blackwood Estate.
I slid down the door until I sat on the carpet, knees pulled to my
chest.
The tears came then. Silent. Wrenching. Not for Julian–never for him again–but for the girl I’d been. The one who’d believed in fairy tales. Who’d thought love could bridge the gap between management and
staff, between Vane and Vance.
Who’d been so fucking stupid.
I was not that girl anymore.
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I stood. Walked to my desk where my laptop sat open, surrounded by textbooks and flashcards. AP Calculus. AP US History. SAT prep books with dog–eared pages.
In my previous timeline, I’d let these slip. Too busy chasing Julian to
maintain my 3.95 GPA. Too pregnant to take the SAT. Too broken to
apply to colleges.
Not this time.
I opened Common Application and pulled up my saved draft. Target
schools: UC Berkeley. Stanford. Northwestern. Universities as far from
New York as possible. As far from the Vanes as I could get.
Early Decision deadline: November 1st. Regular Decision: January
1st.
I had time. I could still salvage this.
I grabbed my journal–the one that used to be filled with “I love
Julian” written in a hundred different fonts–and opened to a blank
page.
October 20, 2024 / Day 1 of Rewriting Fate
Goals:
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I stared at that last line. My hand shook as I wrote it.
In my previous life, I’d never gotten justice. The foster parents who’d
ignored her allergies faced no consequences. Julian had married
Sloane, started a family, lived happily while my daughter rotted in a
cheap plastic urn.
Not this time.
Six PM. I was three chapters deep in AP Calc when my door slammed
open.
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Mamá stood in the doorway, dragging my suitcase. Her eyes were red-
rimmed but determined. Manic.
“I talked to Mr. Vane Senior,” she announced. “I told him you changed
your mind. You’re taking Julian’s private jet to Boston tomorrow at 7
AM.”
The textbook slipped from my hands. “You did what?”
“What I had to do!” She started throwing clothes into the suitcase-
including that pink lace dress I’d never worn, the one she’d bought for
“special occasions.” “You’re too young to understand, pero yo sé
mejor. I know better. This is your chance, mija. Your only chance.”
I crossed the room in three steps and grabbed the suitcase. “I’m not
going.”
“Yes, you are!” She yanked it back. “You spent a whole year on this!
Every morning with his coffee, every afternoon waiting for him to
come home, every weekend learning about his interests! You can’t
give up now when you’re so close!”
“Close to what?” My voice rose. “Mamá, he hates me. Did you see his
face today? He thinks I’m pathetic. He thinks I’m—”
“He’ll change his mind!” Tears streamed down her face. “If you just
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get him alone in Boston, if something happens at the gala, if you
drink a little and he drinks a little and you end up in his room-”
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