But damn if it didn’t make me feel a little sad.
I spent the rest of the afternoon with Max and Jane, playing games and reading stories until the twins wore themselves out. By the time dinner rolled came and went, both kids were yawning, and I had to practically carry Jane back to her room.
After getting Jane settled for the night, I returned to my own room and found a letter waiting on my desk. My name was written on the front in Andrei’s handwriting, and I tore it open immediately.
The letter was long. Andrei wrote about the attacks on Ashmoor, the casualties, the plans for building a wall. He wrote about some strange documents he’d found in the rogue camp and the cryptic references to some rogue king in the north. He wrote about Damon planning to propose to Grace.
And at the very end, he wrote: “I miss you. I miss the twins. I’ll come back as soon as I can. I promise.”
The tears came before I could stop them. I sank down onto the bed, clutching the letter to my chest, and let myself cry. I hated this. Hated being separated from him. Hated that we kept getting torn apart just when things were starting to feel right again.
“Natalia?”
I jerked my head up to find my father standing in the doorway. His face went from curious to furious in about two seconds.
“What did he do?” Alexander demanded, striding into the room. “What did Andrei do to hurt you?”
“Nothing.” I wiped at my eyes quickly, but the tears were still coming. “He didn’t do anything.”
“Then why are you crying?” My father’s fists were clenched at his sides. “Did he say something in that letter? Did he ”
“I love him.” The words came out before I could think about them. “I love him, and I miss him, and I hate that
he’s not here.”
Alexander stopped mid–stride.
“You… love him?”
“Yes.” I stood up, still clutching the letter. “I know you don’t approve of him. I know you think he’s not good enough because he didn’t mark me right away. But I love him anyway. I’ve always loved him.”
My father’s jaw worked for a moment. Then, his anger seemed to subside, replaced by something else. Something softer and more tender.
Without a word, my father crossed the room and pulled me into his arms. He held me tight, and for a little while, I let myself lean into his frame and draw comfort from the man who I never thought I’d get a chance to meet.
The next morning, I woke up feeling like absolute shit. My stomach was churning, and my head was pounding. I barely made it to the bathroom before I threw up everything I’d eaten the night before.
I knelt on the floor for a long time, gripping the edges of the toilet, and tried to breathe through the nausea. It
took several minutes before I felt stable enough to stand
“Mommy?”
whera I looked up to find Jane standing in the bathroom doorway, still in her sights and rings mas stayley
“Are you okay?” She wrinkled her nose and piled her tightypwn my to cover it when the caught wind of my
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