Chapter 116
I remember the last time he gave me hope. It was after we joined Uni. Chloe had broken up with him for reasons known only to her. He’d shown up at my apartment one evening, looking like the world had broken him. I was so startled to see him there–Noah Woods, standing on my doorstep with red eyes and trembling hands.
He didn’t say a word at first. He just stood there, rain dripping from his hair, staring at me like he didn’t know how to start. And stupid me, I pulled him inside, made him tea, and asked if he’d eaten.
He didn’t answer. He just sat on the couch, silent, until suddenly he reached for me.
I should’ve pulled away. I should’ve asked what he wanted. But I didn’t. I let him hold me, like I was the only thing keeping him from falling completely apart.
I’d listened to him as he worked through his heartbreak. He’d told me that was the last time. That he was done and wasn’t going to give Chloe another chance. I’d believed him.
I told myself maybe this was his way of coming back, of trying to heal, of seeing me for once. I stayed up all night beside him. Only for me to wake up the next morning and find him gone.
The next time I saw him, he treated me like the dirt under his shoes. Weeks after that, he and Chloe got back together. 1
I close my eyes at that memory. It was one of the many that tore at me. One of the many I’d buried over the years because they were too painful. One of the many Lilly didn’t know about because I was too ashamed to even tell her.
Noah would take from me but never gave. That was the last time I ever let myself get entangled with him… well, until we messed up the night of Chloe’s death anniversary.
I never understood if he did it knowing it would hurt me more or because he was simply selfish and didn’t give a damn about me… either way, eventually, I stopped hoping. I stopped waiting for him to change. And when the hope finally died, I became numb to all of it.
“But this time is different, Si,” Lilly insists. “You weren’t there to see the worry on his face or the fear. You didn’t see those clenched fists, like he was holding himself back from falling apart.”
My breathing turns ragged with every word she says. I clench my own fist, holding myself together while fighting past feelings.
What she’s saying can’t be right. How could it be? I close my eyes, trying to fight through the storm of emotions her words have stirred. The emotions I’ve spent years burying deep inside. The ones I don’t want to face.
1
“Do you know he sneaked into the ICU to see you?” Lilly whispers, as though sharing a forbidden secret. “He thinks no one knows, well, except the nurses who kicked him out, but I do. I was coming back from getting coffee
when I saw him.” 2
My heart stumbles. That would explain the voice I heard that day. The one I told myself was a hallucination. I was so sure I’d imagined it, that it was just my mind playing cruel tricks on me. But now that Lilly’s confirmed it was real, I don’t even know what to think anymore.
Silence settles over the room, heavy and suffocating. My thoughts spiral, tangled in disbelief and a flicker of something I refuse to name.
I promised myself I’d never get tangled with Noah again. The pain he caused me was enough to last a lifetime, and I’ve held onto that promise like armor. So, what is this? He’s supposed to hate me. To detest my very existence. So why does it suddenly feel like he’s changing the script?
1/2
Chapter 16
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I shake my head, trying to clear my thoughts, but a sharp pain cuts through me. I wince, breath hitching.
“What’s wrong?” Lilly asks, panic edging her voice.
“Nothing, I’m okay,” I manage once the pain fades.
She studies me for a long moment, her expression softening. Then, quietly, she says, “You should think about it, Sierra. Maybe this time things will be different. Maybe it’s finally time for you two.”
I don’t know why he would do all that. I don’t know why he stayed, but I can’t let her words sway me. I can’t let myself fall back into the same toxic pattern that shattered every belief I once had in love.
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