The CEO's Regret: Darling, Don’t Leave Me novel Chapter 52

Chapter 34

Chapter 34: I Was Wrong.

Ethan

I was wrong… Not because I kissed Vanessa, I was wrong to assume.

I built a whole story in my head without checking anything. I saw a hand on Clara’s back and decided that I was already out of her life. I saw a look and turned it into a sentence. And instead of asking her… I reacted.

Pride disguised as maturity, I said they made a lovely couple like I was being fancy, when in reality I was protecting myself from a possibility I didn’t even confirm.

The most ironic thing is that I always boasted of being strategic. Not moving a piece without sufficient information. And the only thing that really matters… I acted on impulse.

Vanessa arrived on Saturday without warning. She brought wine.

Always bring wine when she think something is changing.

She came to my house. I didn’t know she was coming.

“I thought we could have dinner here,” she co

said with that smile that mixes security and expectation.

I let her in, not because I was convinced. Because I wasn’t thinking clearly.

All week I told myself that I had done the right thing. That accepting that kiss was a sign of progress. That Clara was already in another stage… That I should be too.

Vanessa moved around my kitchen with familiarity/Too much.

“We could go to Napa next month,” she said as she poured the wine. “We need to go out more.”

We need.

The word made me uncomfortable.

“Vanessa…”

She came over before I could finish the sentence.

She rested the glass on the counter and shortened the distance between us.

“You don’t have to say anything,” she whispered. “I felt it too.”

Her hand went up my chest, her face inches away from mine.

This time I wasn’t reacting to a recent injury, I was conscious. And that’s when I understood.

I don’t want this, not like this, not out of spite. Vanessa tilted her head to kiss me.

I stepped aside.

<Chapter 34.4

Her expression changed instantly.

“What happened?”

I took a deep breath

“Excuse me. What happened in the office was a mistake.”

Silence.

“A mistake?” she repeated, incredulous.

“My mind was clouded. It should not have happened.”

Her eyes searched for something on my face.

“Because of her?”

I didn’t respond right away. And that was enough..

Vanessa took a step back.

“I thought you had already closed that chapter.”

“That’s how it was, but this shouldn’t have happened between the two of us.”

That was the most honest thing I could

say.

“Ethan…” Her voice dropped. “You can’t keep me on pause for someone who’s already moved on.”

There it was.

“It’s not because of her,” I repeated.

The conviction that had pushed me all week.

Clara and Alexander.

The image.

“Ethan. You have to make your life, she’s with…”

“We don’t know that,” I insisted.

Vanessa frowned.

“What do you mean we don’t know?”

I didn’t answer, because I had no proof. Only perception and pride.

She took her bag with tense movements.

“When you decide what you want, let me know.”

The door slammed shut, I was left alone in the kitchen.

Chapter 24.

Again

But this time I didn’t feel defeat, I felt clarity.

On Monday I arrived early at the company. The agreement with Clara’s company was already underway. There was constant coordination between teams. And it was in small talk that something changed.

“Alexander doesn’t travel with Clara, does he?” commented Daniel, one of the financial directors, as we reviewed reports.

“Travel?” I asked, trying to sound casual.

“Yes, he stayed in New York when she went to her city because of her father’s things. They hardly saw each other in person afterwards. I think they hardly coincide outside of meetings.”

I looked at him.

“Aren’t they…?” I left the sentence open.

Daniel let out a slight laugh.

2

“They? No. If they were, it would be the worst-kept secret in the industry.”

“Wow, I thought they were

a

couple”

“No, of course not. Mr. Alexander is her investor in the expansion. I found out at the last event I went to.

That was what was rumored.”

I didn’t know what to say. I felt something I hadn’t felt in days… Relief?

And then, something more dangerous. Possibility.

All this time I built a story in my head. A convenient narrative, Clara moving forward.

Me reacting.

Alexander taking my place, but if they’re not together… So nothing is defined.

So I haven’t lost, not yet.

r

I leaned on the back of the chair, I know Clara, I know when something isn’t right. And I also know when

there is still room to fight.

Maybe accepting that kiss was a mistake, but giving up without confirming the truth… That would be

unforgivable.

Maybe I was getting an idea in my head, I even thought that stress was leading me to make a movie in my

head. What the?

Why should I be relieved or concerned about whether or not she made a life? We are ex-husbands…

That should be enough explanation. It should be enough to extinguish any impulse. To remind me that it is no longer my place to ask her anything. That her life does not belong to me. That her present does not

Chapter 34,

have to include me.

So why is it soothing to know that she is not with him? Why did it tighten my chest to imagine them

together?

I spent days convincing myself that I was reacting like an adult. That accepting the obvious was maturity.

That wishing her stability was the right thing to do. But it was not acceptance… It was flight.

If Clara were with Alexander, everything would be closed. Orderly. Classified. I might say, “She chose. I

continue.”

But if she is not with anyone… If that space is still empty… So the problem is not the circumstance. It’s me.

I was the one who let pride make decisions. I was the one who chose silence instead of conversation.

I was the one who said “You two make a lovely couple” so I wouldn’t have to say “I still care about you”.

I put my hands to my face for a second.

What possibility? That of trying, of stopping assuming. That of, for the first time, not reacting but talking.

And therein lies the real discomfort. I’m not afraid that Clara is with someone else, I’m afraid that she can

still choose… and that she doesn’t choose me.

Because if I’m no longer an option, at least it would be definitive. But if I still am… Then I have to decide if I’m going to stare at her from a distance or if I’m going to do something about it.

And that does require something that I have not wanted to admit that I have.

Feelings I didn’t sign up for in any divorce agreement. Feelings that are still there.

Still… Waiting.

What the hell is wrong with me?

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