The Eclipsed Life of Luna Mischa (by Jennifer Francis) novel Chapter 36

She sat out there and stared into the snow–filled night and let her mind wander as she sipped that glass of wine. To just what she was going to do about her next heat. Something that was still six months away for her, but with all that had just happened during her last heat, it was already at the forefront of her mind.

Christy would be out of her cell by then, and she was certain it was going to happen all over again, likely just in a different manner this time. She also wanted it to happen, to prove her theory about what she thought Christy was doing. Even if only to prove it to herself, for now.

Even with her mate bond so very broken as it was, she knew Anthony would still sense out her heat, and if she still wasn’t receptive to him, he could use it as an excuse to get closer to her, try and grow their bond back to what it had once been.

Though for him to do that, he’d actually have to want to be there and want to be attentive to her and all her needs, have to try and recall what it was she liked, something he’d shown her he’d actually let go off, while trying to make her that breakfast, and he couldn’t recall what she liked, had even brought up Chirsty’s preference while trying to cook for her.

She sighed softly to herself out there in the coldness of the night. It was still best, she thought, to endure this bitter cold, to let it seep into her very bones, get used to it, so nothing affected her anymore. Life wasn’t all peachy. She knew she should be thankful for the 20 years of happiness with her Mate, but they had very long lives.

With the way their bond was diminished, she was certain that was why her last heat had been different, with much shorter bouts. She kind of put that down to how they had sex when he bothered to come to her room outside a heat. Where once he’d spend half the night naked

with her.

Now it was barely an hour if she was lucky, and a part of her thought that was actually the reason behind her heats change. She thought one’s heat was also connected to how much the wolves in the bond spent time together naturally. The length of time they had sex outside of a heat, she believed, determined the length of time of each bout of heat.

It then made her wonder if her heat would reduce down to just once a year. If she and Anthony didn’t have sex once between now and when that heat was due; would it be the same as last time or even less due to their bond being even more broken than it had been prior to that heat?

She did know that a heat started once one was mated, that it was simply once or twice a year, regardless of if the Mate was around, was loving or if one had been forcibly marked and mated, but now she wondered if one that had two heats in a loveless bond, would only end

Piepping ahead

up

with having one heat over time.

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But what she did want to know was if there was a medication that would stop the heat happening, and if there was something that could stop it altogether, could she get her hands on it, and save herself the worry of ever having to suffer through that agony again.

She sighed to herself as she poured another glass of wine. She’d once not only enjoyed her heat but looked forward to it, as did most loving mated pairs. But not anymore, she was now actively trying to think of ways to stop it.

That in itself spoke volumes to her, now when she thought about going into heat, she associated it with pain and suffering, feelings of being unloved and unwanted, that it was just a duty for Anthony to perform; if he felt like it.

She closed her eyes and just knew that she didn’t want to go into heat anymore, she didn’t want to feel like it was just a duty to be performed and nothing more for her Mate, or have to be left with her own feelings about that very thing when he got up and left the suite uncaring when it was either over or Christy called him away.

She shook off that thought and refocused herself on the actual problem, of the heat itself; other than those that were infertile, she didn’t know any mated she–wolves that didn’t go into

heat.

Wolfen birth control also didn’t stop a heat, it just stopped one from getting pregnant from the heat was all. And even then, sometimes a pup could be conceived because it was the will of their Goddess, as to who had pups and when they did, and to whom even.

What she really needed was to find out if there was a way to stop her heat from happening, do research on that very thing, or perhaps stall it and make it fall short of the normal length of time. Maybe there was even a way to reduce it from twice a year to just once a year.

That would be something she would definitely do, only having one heat instead of two, would lessen the burden of having a heat, not only for her. But for Anthony being forced to be in her

room to tend to it as well.

Because regardless of all that had happened over the past few weeks and the punishments dished out to Christy herself. She still believed that Christy was going to try and stop her from being with Anthony for all her upcoming heats. Put herself into heat as quickly as she could in order to have Anthony be with her instead.

Only now she wouldn’t be so stupid as to blame Mischa for it. That was now a death sentence for that she–wolf. Not only would no one believe her, but the minute those words were out of her mouth, the Elders or the unit would haul her to the shaming post. Regardless of any injuries she might have, to await on being ordered the truth from.

Prepping ahead

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That order also wouldn’t come from Anthony, it was going to come from one of the Elders, a former Alpha, and they would show her no mercy in getting to the truth. Mischa wouldn’t even have to ask for an investigation; it would simply happen because of the accusation.

Mischa finished that glass of wine and turned in for the night, and although it was cold and snowing and predicted to have more heavy snowfall overnight. Mischa left one of her windows open half way, the cold was good for her.

Over the past few weeks, she’d kind of gotten accustomed to it. She’d been outside on the balcony every night like she had been tonight, just sat out there and let herself freeze in the cold to numb the pain she and Laud felt. Soon there would be nothing to feel. She also now liked being out there in the cold, dead of night, alone with her thoughts.

She liked the cold, kind of felt it suited her mood all the time, but she had a feather–down quilt on her bed to keep her warm when sleeping, so that even if the room was freezing cold and snow piled up on the floor of her suite’s bedroom and the wind gusted in, she could

withstand it.

Twice now she’d piled up that quilt into a circle with a hollow in the middle and Laud had slept on her bed curled up in wolfen form buried in that quilt, with the doors to her balcony completely open to the cold winters night air and been settled and happy; unaffected by the cold at all.

Mischa lay there, and although she was tired from the long days that had passed, she didn’t sleep right away, because her mind didn’t shut off when she closed her eyes. It was sifting through any and all knowledge that she had read about heats, as a Luna. Thoughts of what she needed to bring about; to stop her and Laud from having to suffer through another heat

on their own.

Even her own wolf felt it was a certainty that they would be on their own through the next one, or if not that one, definitely the one after that. She thought Anthony’s wolf, Shade, would insist on him being there for the next one. His wolf could in fact take care of her her all by itself. Mate her in human form and Anthony wouldn’t even have to participate.

It was likely what she thought was going to happen, seeing as what had just gone down, Anthony making her promise not to leave him. He was selfish to want that when he knew he neglected her. Laud was also sifting through her wolfen inherited knowledge, to see if there was a way of stopping a heat prior to it happening, or even after it started.

It was, she knew, something she was going to have to sit and do proper research on, and likely not just here in the pack’s library or down in the archives, but likely on the Wolfen intranet, or perhaps through the Wolfen Council, though that last one could draw their attention to her because; it wasn’t something most would look into.

Prepping ahead

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She wouldn’t ask anyone to help her, and she would only do that research in her spare time, inside this very suite, on her personal computer, so it wasn’t logged with the pack’s search

criteria.

It would also stop her from thinking about it when she was attending to Luna Duties over the next few months, or around Paul. The packs Gamma, she knew, would pick up on it if she thought about something like that, because it was all consuming for her. And although she didn’t think he’d be all that surprised about it.

She knew he’d want to sit and talk to her about her having those very thoughts. Perhaps even bring it up with Anthony himself, though again she knew Paul would do that out of concern for her. Not to just have Anthony stop her from doing it.

Because Paul would understand that it would mean she didn’t trust Anthony at all, and therefore didn’t want to have his pup and give this pack an heir. Something that all Lunas did actually want to do. Something most mated she–wolves would also want to do, have a pup with their Mate. Create a life from the love they shared between each other.

How was she going to explain not wanting to do that, without stating that she honestly believed Christy would try and harm her in order to see her lose the pup she would be carrying. She had no proof of anything like that. It was just something that was her personal belief.

But having Anthony hear something like that. He, she knew, would defend Christy without thinking about it. State Christy would never do anything like that, and with how things were between them right this minute. She didn’t believe he’d even think it would be worth his concern. He would, she knew, dismiss it, and tell her she was just being paranoid.

Therefore, she wouldn’t think about it even around Paul.

Who she knew would likely believe her, see the concern and understand why she didn’t want to get pregnant and give the pack an heir. Anthony, on the other hand, would likely see it as her still trying to punish him, for what he’d done. So, it was best to do it on her own, leaving everyone else out of it.

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CH 37