The Golden Lycans (Ella) novel Chapter 54

<Winter Wonderland

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Winter Wonderland

The next few days went by quite comfortably. It was lovely being back at home, especially with my parents. At times, I could pretend like everything was the way it had always been, but then something would remind me of reality and how daunting the future was.

I couldn’t stop thinking about being divinely bonded to Austin and what it all meant. The more thought about the past few months, the more it made absolute sense of everything I’d experienced and felt. I just couldn’t believe I had been so blind to it for as long as I had. But then,

realistically, how could I have known? I just assumed I was a slave to my teenage hormones like the rest of the sixth form, or having fallen under the influence of some strong supernatural

pheromones.

What I knew for certain, is that Austin clearly knew, and he’d been kind and patient enough to give

me the space to figure things out on my own. The sad way he’d looked at me in the medical bay when he’d pleaded with me before the nurse kicked him out…it was haunting me, and I wish I’d realised then. I felt a deep warmth whenever I thought about him and I had to stop myself from messaging Freya about it all – because I was still so confused about what to do.

There was no denying that I heavily desired Austin, but I wasn’t sure I wanted the life that came

with him.

Pack Lunas sounded like dutiful housewives who never left the pack house in the books that I’d read and that just wasn’t me. I didn’t want to be stuck somewhere on the sidelines, raising a family and cooking meals; I wanted a career. I wanted choices, I wanted to see the world, to experience life… not experience choices that had already been made for me.

Equally, I felt very guilty about my kiss with Will. I felt guilt for the way it had ended for Will, and the fact it had happened at all, for Austin.

But…did I have feelings for Will too? I wasn’t entirely sure. Being around him was so easy and I had quickly become very fond of him; I was sure of that much. He was great and I did think he was very attractive, but something about being around him felt too easy and I wasn’t sure what that was.

He was also still Lycan just like Austin, with his own divine mate somewhere, out there.

What I was sure of, right now, was that the version of myself from just six months ago would be incredibly surprised at what I had gotten up to, in only three months at my new school.

In accordance with our tradition, I was going out shopping with my mum on Christmas eve, which was easily the best and worst day to go when you lived in central London.

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It was manic, but I loved it because I got to spend time with my mum and the atmosphere was always positive and so joyous.

As if in deliberate contradiction to the way I’d described London to my friends back at Exton, it had actually begun to snow that morning…and for once, it had nothing to do with me.

“Nothing, and I mean nothing, is more Christmassy than Harrods, in the snow, on Christmas eve” my Mum says in delight as we watch the flurries of snow falling around us while we walk down Brompton Road.

“It really does look like a movie,” I laugh, feeling that it mirrored the way I’d been feeling of late, like my life was an elaborate and preplanned piece of fiction that had been written by somebody else. The snow was already settling on surfaces, brightening the usually grey streets. It looked magical. “All you would need to complete the movie, is that young man of yours to run across the road and take you in his arms,” mum jokes. I’d managed to avoid this topic over the past few days, but clearly Mum had been waiting to get me alone before broaching it. I laugh awkwardly at her joke.

“Well…that won’t be happening, because life isn’t a fairytale,” I say bitterly as we enter the main

doors of Harrods.

“Well, Ella, your father isn’t here with us, so it’s time to tell your mother everything about him,” she says, linking her arm into mine.

I take a deep breath and told her everything, from the random wolf attack and meeting Atlas for the first time, my first human meeting with Austin, finding out the truth of the school, my date with Austin, the events of the winter formal, the training I’d been doing with Will, right up to the realisation I’d had about the bond when Austin had already left.

She listens quietly at every turn as we go from counter to counter, shelf to shelf, shop to shop.

“Goodness, what a jam packed few months you’ve had,” she says as we sit down for a coffee in the

cafe.

“It’s been bizarre, for sure,” I admit, making swirls with my finger on the top of my latte.

“What do you intend to do?” she asks. I sigh.

“I really don’t know. I have this intense, deep connection to a person I haven’t actually spent a lot of time with. We’ve been on one date, a date that I totally ruined. It still doesn’t make sense to me, how I can feel the way that I feel. I know some things about him but…I know my friend Will far better than I know Austin,” I pout, shrugging my shoulders a little.

“That’s what it’s like with the Lycans. I saw it happen at school so often. But you can change that. Date him. Get to know him; and don’t forget honey, you don’t have to accept him. It might feel like

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you’re a chess piece on someone else’s chessboard, but you do have free will. Ultimately, you decide your own destiny. You do have the ability to make choices,” she says, squeezing my hand.

“He really is a wonderful guy though, Mum,” I say truthfully, breaking off a piece of a chocolate muffin I’d grabbed.

“Really respectful, sweet, so caring and thoughtful, funny…he’s honestly the best person…” I trai

off.

“Is he cute? OHH is he hot?” Mum asks excitedly. I snort into my coffee at the fact my mum has

just asked me that question.

“Mum!” I begin, before giving in very quickly, “okay, yes…he is…ridiculous. He’d fit in right up on the

Piccadilly lights.”

I then burst into laughter and mum laughs too.

“Yes, gosh I can remember the Lycans I was at sixth form with. They were…delicious,” she muses with a little wiggle of her eyebrows. I chuckle a little at hearing my mum talk like this. This was

new, for us, but I like it.

“Wait, you went to a school like Exton?” I ask, suddenly realising I’d never asked my parents about their schooling before.

“Yes, your father and I both went to Barmouth Academy in Wales. The majority of the kids who go there are witches and warlocks. It’s one of four schools in the same schooling network as Exton,” Mum explains. I still couldn’t believe they had always been a part of that world, and I had absolutely

no idea.

“We were born without magic, so we needed to find our own way in the world. We both took law in sixth form, before going on to study Law at a university not too far from Exton. Your grandfather was part of the Council and that’s how we ended up working for them.”

“Do you ever wish things would’ve been different? That you’d been born with magic, I mean? Having experienced it in the last few weeks…I can’t imagine ever going back. I couldn’t imagine not being able to feel the nature around me. The greenhouse at school…I wish you could see it. I wish you could feel it the way that I can,” I admit, finishing my latte. Mum contemplates my question for

a moment before she answers.

“No, no I don’t. I’d have never met your father, never worked for the council, which means I wouldn’t be here with my beautiful daughter,” she says with a warm smile, “how could I wish for anything different when what I do have, is so great?”

“That’s a wonderful outlook,” I reply with a warm smile, pondering the choices I had ahead.

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“Why do I get the feeling you’re not telling me everything,” Mum says slyly with her raised my eyebrows high for a moment, my mum apparently knew me too well.

eyes

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“Well…I haven’t spoken to Austin properly for weeks. I’ve been avoiding him since the talisman broke,” I admit. Mum exhales loudly in a whistle through her lips.

“Why? You just told me how amazing he is,” she asks, quite rightly looking as confused as I generally felt these days. I smack my lips.

“Because until the other day I didn’t know a bond with him was even possible. I didn’t want to get too invested in him and then have him find his mate and then I would assuredly get ditched. I didn’t want to get hurt,” I explain sadly.

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