The Scumbag's Guide To Heroism novel Chapter 376

Chapter 376: 376 | A Percy Emergency [PS BONUS]

The locker room smelled like sweat and cheap body spray, the kind of aggressive chemical cocktail that happened when twenty teenage boys tried to cover up ninety minutes of getting absolutely demolished by the number one Hero in America.

I pulled my shirt over my head and tossed it toward my bag, missing by approximately three feet because my arms still felt like overcooked noodles. Radiant’s "fun 1v3 capture the flag" exercise had been approximately as fun as getting hit by a truck that smiled at you while it ran you over.

The man moved like physics had personally apologized to him and agreed to look the other way. Every time I thought I had a read on his positioning, he was already somewhere else, golden light trailing behind him like a taunt made visible.

"That was educational," Caden announced from somewhere behind me, his voice carrying the specific exhaustion of someone who had just discovered new muscles to be sore in. "I learned that I am bad at everything."

"You learned that Radiant is unfairly good at everything," Marco corrected, peeling off his training gear with the weary resignation of a man who had seen too much. "Different lesson."

"Same outcome. My body hurts and my pride is wounded."

I grabbed a towel and headed toward the showers, passing Percy’s locker on the way. The guy was sitting on the bench with his uniform half-changed, staring at his notebook with an intensity that suggested the notebook owed him money. His pen was moving, but not writing. Just tapping. The same spot, over and over, a rhythmic pattern that had nothing to do with whatever data he was supposed to be recording.

I stopped.

Percy Mendoza distracted was unusual. Percy Mendoza distracted enough to stop documenting was unprecedented. The guy had literally written notes during a fire drill last week because he wanted to track evacuation efficiency metrics.

"Hey." I dropped onto the bench beside him. "You good?"

Percy blinked, the pen stopping mid-tap. "Hmm?"

"You’ve been staring at that page for three minutes without writing anything. That’s like, a Percy emergency."

"Oh." He looked down at his notebook, then back up at me, then at some middle distance that existed approximately six feet past my left shoulder. "Yes. Fine. Just processing."

"Processing what?"

The pen started tapping again. "Did you notice anything unusual about Radiant’s departure?"

I thought back to the end of the training session. Radiant had gathered us in the center of the field, delivered approximately ninety seconds of feedback that somehow made getting obliterated feel like a privilege, then flashed that movie-star grin and said—

"Now watch how a hero moves!" His voice had carried across the entire training ground, bright and warm and completely confident in a way that made you want to follow him into traffic. Then he’d taken off running toward the east gate, not jogging, not walking, full sprint, and the displacement from his movement had generated a wind strong enough to push my hair back from my face. "Like he’s got somewhere to be!"

He’d been gone before anyone could respond. Just golden light and a breeze that smelled faintly like ozone and impossibly good cologne.

"I mean, yeah, he left fast," I said, pulling myself back to the present. "But he’s Radiant. The guy probably has eleven commitments before lunch and another forty before dinner. He’s still doing hero work on top of teaching, right? Emergency response calls, agency obligations, whatever charity thing he’s got scheduled this week."

Percy’s pen stopped. "He checked his phone three times during the exercise."

"So?"

"Radiant never checks his phone during training. I’ve documented fourteen sessions since the semester started. Not once has he interrupted instruction to look at a personal device. His commitment to presence is one of his documented teaching strengths." The pen resumed tapping. "Today he checked it three times. The third time, his expression changed for approximately 0.4 seconds before he reset to baseline. Then he accelerated the exercise conclusion by an estimated seven minutes."

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