The Scumbag's Guide To Heroism novel Chapter 87

Chapter 87: 87 | The Post-Tutorial Patch Notes

I watched Sloane’s chest rise and fall, her face peaceful in sleep against my shoulder. Her pink hair spilled across my pillow like she’d claimed the territory without discussion, which tracked. Sloane Fitzgerald didn’t ask permission. She arrived, decided what was hers, and dared you to say otherwise.

A soft snore escaped her lips. I bit back a laugh. Sloane Fitzgerald, Legendary-tier Aspect user with the power to level buildings, snoring like a chainsaw with a head cold. If I mentioned it she’d detonate my balls with extreme prejudice, so I filed it under things I knew and would never bring up.

The sheets still carried the faint scent of her shampoo mixed with something distinctly us. We’d showered after round two, Sloane insisting we needed to wash away the evidence before her mother returned tomorrow.

What started as practical cleanup quickly turned into her pressing me against shower tiles, water sluicing down her curves while she wrapped her legs around my waist and informed me through gasps that the shower didn’t count toward our total because it was technically hygiene.

Her second time hurt less. Her third time, not at all. By the fourth she’d stopped pretending she wasn’t chasing it.

Now she slept in my bed instead of hers, claiming mine had better pillows. Really, she just didn’t want to deal with her soaked sheets until morning. Fair enough.

"Update," I whispered, keeping my voice low enough not to wake her.

The interface materialized in my vision, pale blue against the darkness.

〘 Host status: Stable. Tutorial phase: Complete. Path selection: Scumbag’s Path ("I’ll Do My Own Thing"). Current SP: 2,640. 〙

I snorted quietly. The system named my custom path "Scumbag’s Path" because of course it did. I’d rejected Hero, Villain, and Neutral, told it I’d handle my own progression timeline, and the interface titled my entire build after its own opinion of me. Petty.

"Show completed quests."

〘 Displaying recently completed quests:

MAIN QUEST: "The Damsel and the Disaster"

Primary Objective (COMPLETE): Rescued Felicity Hardy from zero-pointer engagement zone

Rewards: 1,000 Scumbag Points, One (1) Gold Gacha Pull (Standard), +15 Reputation with Felicity Hardy

Note: Heroine Candidate: Felicity Hardy (Gauge initialized at 34%)

MAIN QUEST: "The Second Pillar"

Primary Objective (COMPLETE): Fully satisfied Sloane Fitzgerald sexually

Bonus Objective (COMPLETE): Made her scream your name loud enough to be heard from the hallway

Rewards: 800 Scumbag Points, One (1) Gold Gacha Pull, Permanent Gauge notation: First

Bonus Reward: 400 Scumbag Points, One (1) Silver Gacha Pull, Temporary buff applied to Sloane Fitzgerald: Claimed Duration: 72 hours 〙

I stared at that last line. "What’s this ’Claimed’ buff?"

〘 Claimed: Subject experiences 15% increased Aspect output for 72 hours following internal ejaculation from host. Subject gains 3% permanent increase to maximum power ceiling. Physical markers include residual pheromone signature detectable by other women with initialized Temptation Gauges. 〙

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