The Scumbag's Guide To Heroism novel Chapter 88

Chapter 88: 88 | I Choose Lightning

I watched the interface shimmer into existence, gold and silver frames rotating in the darkness above Sloane’s sleeping form. Part of me wondered if this light show would wake her, but she just snored louder and nuzzled deeper against my chest. Girl slept like the dead after four rounds of sex. Convenient.

"Gold pull first," I whispered.

The system hummed with anticipation. Gold frames spun faster, blurring into a circular band of light. Little stars burst from its edges like a miniature galaxy was being born right above my bed. The animation was pure psychological manipulation - flashier effects meant dopamine hits regardless of what garbage the system might drop.

But damn if it didn’t work. My heart raced watching those spinning frames.

The rotation slowed dramatically. One frame enlarged and floated toward me, glowing with amber light. It turned once, twice, then displayed its contents: a silhouette of a person surrounded by a faint aura.

〘 Congratulations! You have obtained MUSK (Uncommon · Passive Trait) 〙

"What the fuck is Musk?"

〘 MUSK creates a unique pheromonal signature that subtly alters how others perceive you at close range. For females, it functions as a mild aphrodisiac, increasing arousal and attachment metrics. For males, it generates feelings of comfort and brotherhood. Effect scales with proximity and exposure duration. 〙

I stared at the description, trying to process what I’d just pulled. "So... I smell good now? That’s it?"

〘 Oversimplification. MUSK operates below conscious perception. Subjects do not register your scent as the cause of their altered state. The trait bypasses rational thought, functioning as an unfair advantage in base chemistry. 〙

"You gave me magic pheromones?" I laughed under my breath. "That’s some supervillain shit."

〘 You rejected predetermined paths. The system provides tools aligned with your demonstrated preferences and behavior patterns. 〙

Oh, so this was the system’s passive-aggressive way of calling me a manipulative asshole. Fair enough.

"How potent is this effect?"

〘 MUSK scales with Temptation Gauge levels. At Neutral/Curious (0-39%), subjects perceive a general pleasantness. At Attached/Devoted (40-79%), subjects experience active craving for proximity. At Enthralled (80%+), subjects develop psychological dependency on your presence. 〙

I glanced down at Sloane, currently wrapped around me like a pink-haired octopus. Her gauge sat at eighty-four percent. If this Musk thing worked as described, she’d basically become addicted to my presence once it activated.

"That’s... kind of messed up."

〘 The trait merely accelerates existing attachment patterns. It cannot create desire where none exists. 〙

The system’s justification rang hollow. This wasn’t just an edge - it was biochemical manipulation. But I’d already crossed so many ethical lines that drawing one here seemed laughably arbitrary.

"Is it active now?"

〘 Initializing... MUSK is now active. 〙

Nothing felt different, but I hadn’t expected it to. The passive traits never gave physical feedback - they just quietly changed how the world interacted with me.

"Next pull. Silver."

The interface shifted. The gold frame vanished, replaced by a spinning silver circle that sparkled with less intensity but equal showmanship. The animation completed faster this time, a silver card materializing above my bed.

〘 Congratulations! You have obtained II - THE HIGH PRIESTESS (Rare · Activatable Item) 〙

The card displayed a serene robed woman sitting between two pillars with a crescent moon at her feet. It looked like an old tarot card, but with an otherworldly quality that made the image seem to shift subtly as I examined it.

"What does this one do?"

〘 THE HIGH PRIESTESS allows you to experience five minutes of massively accelerated perception. Time appears nearly frozen. You gain precognitive flashes of immediate future events. Cooldown: 120 hours after use. 〙

"Holy shit," I whispered. "That’s actually useful."

〘 All system rewards serve function. Your perception of value is subjective. 〙

The interface sounded offended, which was hilarious coming from code that had literally given me "slightly moist" as an ability two weeks ago.

"Can I activate it whenever I want?"

〘 PHOENIX REBIRTH (Epic · Passive Trait) - Upon death, resurrect once with 25% health. One Time Use. 〙

〘 ABSOLUTE DEFENSE (Epic · Active) - Create an impenetrable barrier for 3 seconds. Cooldown: 1 hour. 〙

〘 PHASE SHIFT (Epic · Active) - Become intangible for 1 second. Cooldown: 60 minutes. 〙

〘 MIND PALACE (Epic · Passive Trait) - Perfect recall of anything you’ve experienced. Intelligence checks gain 25% bonus efficiency. 〙

〘 LIGHTNING CLOAK (Epic · Active) - Coat your body in electrical energy for 30 seconds. Movement speed and striking power increase by 100%. Physical attacks gain electrical damage. Massive stamina drain after use. 〙

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