The Scumbag's Guide To Heroism novel Chapter 93

Chapter 93: 93 | Keep It In The Family

I’m so fucked.

I’m so fucked.

I’m so fucked.

The thought looped through my head like a broken record as I sat on my bed, still half-naked, staring at the door Sloane had slammed behind her. My heart hammered against my ribs. The scent of sex and expensive perfume hung in the air like evidence at a crime scene.

Diane had just walked in on me balls-deep in her daughter.

Then she’d gotten on her knees and sucked my dick while Sloane watched.

This was bad. This was really, really bad. This was the kind of bad that ended with me getting thrown out of the house and possibly arrested.

A familiar blue interface materialized in front of my face.

〘 HIDDEN QUEST COMPLETE: Caught Red-Handed 〙

Get caught having sex with one woman by another woman in your network.

Reward: 800 SP, +1 Rare Gacha Ticket

Bonus Unlocked: First-time discovery bonus applied.

〘 HIDDEN QUEST COMPLETE: Power Play 〙

Have one woman perform oral sex on you in front of another woman in your network.

Reward: 1,200 SP, +1 Gold Gacha Ticket with Selection Option

Bonus Unlocked: Dominance hierarchy established.

I stared at the notifications, my brain struggling to process what I was seeing.

The System was rewarding me for this disaster.

Of course it was.

〘 Congratulations, Host. Your performance exceeds projections. 〙

"Performance?" I hissed under my breath. "Sloane just found out I’ve been fucking her mother. She’s devastated."

〘 Correction: Subject Sloane Fitzgerald is experiencing emotional volatility consistent with territorial breach and perceived betrayal. Emotional state will stabilize within acceptable parameters once hierarchy is established. 〙

"Hierarchy? What the hell are you talking about?"

〘 Current household dynamic operates on unstable exclusivity model. Subject Sloane believes she possesses sole access to Host. Subject Diane operates under assumption of continued discretion. Both models are incompatible with optimal progression. Establishment of clear hierarchy resolves conflict and increases overall attachment metrics. 〙

I rubbed my face with both hands. "You’re insane. You know that, right? Completely insane."

〘 Host previously demonstrated understanding of multi-target acquisition strategy. Current development represents natural evolution of established pattern. Optimal outcome requires integration rather than separation. 〙

"Integration," I repeated flatly. "You mean convince them to share."

〘 Correct. 〙

"That’s not going to happen. Did you see Sloane’s face? She looked at me like I’d killed her dog."

〘 Initial emotional response is expected. Human attachment operates on perceived exclusivity and trust frameworks. Violation of either produces distress. However, female psychology demonstrates remarkable adaptability when presented with acceptable rationalization and adequate compensation. 〙

I wanted to punch the System. I wanted to reach into the blue text floating in my vision and strangle whatever sentient code was running this nightmare.

"Adequate compensation?" My voice came out strangled. "What kind of compensation makes your girlfriend okay with finding out you’ve been screwing her mom?"

The System didn’t answer immediately. Instead, a new notification appeared.

〘 NEW MAIN QUEST: Keep It In The Family 〙

Convince Diane Fitzgerald and Sloane Fitzgerald to participate in a threesome with you within the next 72 hours.

Reward: 5,000 SP, +1 Epic Gacha Ticket, +25 Reputation with both subjects, Passive Trait Unlock: Family Man,

Bonus Objective: Ensure both subjects achieve climax at least twice during the encounter.

Bonus Reward: +2,500 SP, +10 additional Reputation with both subjects

Failure Penalty: -75 Reputation with Sloane Fitzgerald (relationship terminates), -50 Reputation with Diane Fitzgerald (arrangement terminates), permanent +25% Guilt modifier applied to all future intimate encounters, ejection from Fitzgerald household within 48 hours

Time Limit: 72:00:00

Sloane Fitzgerald

Temptation Gauge: 84% (Enthralled)

Diane Fitzgerald

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