The Wolf Came on Christmas (Johanna and Alexander) novel Chapter 134

Chapter 134-1

I was afraid of falling off his lap, but he was holding me tightly, I wasn’t going anywhere. I didn’t expect him to be like that, so… eager. I liked it. I liked it too much.

Alexander buried his nose in my neck and I felt his teeth again, gently biting my skin on the way toward my shoulder, or whatever he could reach through the wide collar of the vest and the blouse I was wearing underneath. Every time he brushed me with his fangs, something that didn’t want to escape from my mouth made it impossible to keep my lips pressed shut.

My hands weren’t still either; before I realized it, I had already undone almost all the buttons of his shirt. And I loved that he wasn’t wearing anything underneath, only that skin I so much wanted to touch. It was as simple as sliding my fingers over the firm shapes of his burning body, over the small scars, until I found the metal button of his jeans, and allowed myself the luxury of feeling him

It was warmer there than on his chest. I swallowed an eager moan and smiled when Alexander growled, complaining in his own way about the unsatisfactory friction I gave him over the thick fabric. He didn’t lag behind either; he had already slipped his hands under my vest and was pulling it upward, taking it off over my head. I raised my arms without resistance, almost automatically. Alexander removed the blouse in the same motion, and both garments landed somewhere in the living room.

But then he stopped. I searched for his eyes immediately.

“What is this?” he asked cautiously.

He had a furrowed brow in an alert expression. He touched with his fingertips the necklace resting at the beginning of my breasts, Álvaro’s claw turned into a symbol of my own courage, as Luke had described it. The slight contact of his rough skin on that sensitive part of my anatomy made me breathe deeply.

“…it’s exactly what you think.”

“The claw of that panther? The one Toshi gave you?”

“The very same,” I answered with a sigh. I slowly ran my hands over his shoulders, feeling the hardness of the muscles beneath his clothes. I was pleased with what I felt. He looked at my face, still alert, and I shrugged. “I earned it, after all. I shot that monster, and he left that nail behind while fleeing from me. Luke made the necklace. Do you like it?”

I looked at him with an exaggeratedly seductive cadence and managed to make him smile. Alexander leaned toward me again and, with a gallant gesture, moved the necklace out of his way

to place a tender kiss on my sternum.

“Well, I think it suits you, but I need space to keep kissing you.”

He didn’t let me reply: he covered my mouth again with his, though only for a brief moment before

descending to my neck again and toward my chest, and I felt his rough, hot hands on either side of my waist, slowly rising toward my bra. He was going to remove it, and frankly I was dying for him to do so; I felt the damn thing wasn’t letting me breathe freely. I wanted to feel his mouth on other parts of my body, now that one by one the tight straps that had kept my desire for him tied and under control were breaking with alarming speed.

He finally found the clasp on my back. And the delicious caress of his tongue over one breast drew a muffled sigh from me.

That wasn’t going to stay like that. I buried my fingers in his hair to pull him toward me and let my head fall back, opening the way for him. Every time he touched, kissed, or licked me, something new exploded under my skin. He found a particularly sensitive spot beneath my ear and lingered there, licking and biting until he heard me moan. I heard him growl in satisfaction, which pushed me even further to the edge of my strength. I pressed myself more tightly against him; the heat of his skin lost me in a whirl of thoughts, each more daring and tempting than the last. I closed my eyes, surrendered to his caresses, and imagined us already in another stage, perhaps satiated with each other and yet still wanting more. It was definite; I had no doubt that we both wanted the same thing until I lifted myself anxiously on his lap, straightening my back.

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Chart 114

Chapter 134-2

Blam

And that was my mistake (or perhaps the greatest success for the moment); I opened my eyes suddenly, shaken by the pain that ran down my entire spine, reminding me of two things: one, that I had fallen very recently, and two, that I couldn’t end up in bed with him because I was

menstruating.

“Alexander… Alexander, please, no…” I had to stop him, we were moving too fast.

And I wasn’t in a condition to receive him, no matter how much I desired it. Other things came to my mind in that embarrassing instant. I hadn’t shaved or bathed yet; I wanted… I wanted to receive him in a special way when it happened. It wasn’t just about my period. As strange as it may seem, I had never fantasized like this about him, and I had never felt the need to be “prepared” for anything. It hurt just to place my hands on his shoulders and push him away weakly.

He understood, and withdrew a little space, breathing heavily. He stopped kissing my chest. Thank

Heaven, one of us still had our feet on the ground.

“I can’t, Alexander. Not today,” I told him, refusing to look at his face; I was embarrassed. “I’m sorry,

but I have my period.”

I know there was excitement in his voice when he spoke:

“Let it go. Don’t worry,” he assured me, and leaned closer to brush the sensitive skin of my neck with his nose, gently, as he inhaled my scent. “I don’t have anything to protect us either, so… look,

don’t misunderstand me, I didn’t come here expecting this to happen. But I can’t keep ignoring you

either; you smell in a way that, every time I see you, calls to me more strongly.”

I didn’t know whether to get angry or laugh. His blessed nose.

That was wicked, wasn’t it? Of course he knew it. And still, he had a lot of self–control. He had

dared to move forward with me even though he was perfectly aware that I wasn’t in condition, and

he didn’t have condoms. That was like the promise of something, wasn’t it? In any case, he was

behaving quite well, and a small and lustful part of me would have liked him not to be so

gentlemanly, for some reason. If my situation had been different, I wouldn’t have hesitated much

either, condom or not.

A sentence I didn’t want to let escape from my lips, regarding that last thought:

“…you wouldn’t have needed it anyway,” I said, and swallowed. If we had been able to, I know I

would have enjoyed it very much and I would have liked him to enjoy it too. “I don’t know if I could conceive again, so…

Alexander’s shoulders tensed under my fingers, and he lifted his face to look at me.

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Had I ever noticed how beautiful his eyes were? A nearly sky–blue, crystalline, deep color. I traced the shape of his thick, well–defined eyebrows with the tip of my finger; and the white scar at the corner of his mouth. He tried to bite my finger in a lazy movement, but after surrendering for a moment to appreciate the sharp tip of one of his fangs against my thumb, I moved my hand away so we could both focus.

Alexander struggled between asking the question or not asking it, and honestly it wouldn’t have bothered me; it would only have hurt to keep talking about the subject. He didn’t look down, but I felt his thumbs pressing over the small, familiar scars on my abdomen, barely noticeable. In those years, we had talked about many things by phone and in person, but never about the accident or what happened to me afterward, only a few veiled hints that, if he was as clever as I believed, he would have interpreted very well. I want to believe I never asked anything out of respect, and not because he wasn’t interested in knowing. And was I going to ruin this by recalling that part of my life when we were in the best moment I had had in four years?

It wasn’t a secret, nor was it a certainty.

I don’t know what changed. I only know that my mind had already assumed it. Every time I remembered Álvaro’s lustful tone saying “you’re ovulating, there may be hope,” a brutal shiver of fear ran through my body. I didn’t quite know what I was expecting from myself. Gather courage, perhaps? No idea.

As far as I was concerned, Alexander had nothing to worry about.

“You think it was because of the accident,” he said patiently, with all the politeness in the world.

“I don’t know. I don’t know, truly.”

Sometimes I forgot that he already knew.

Alexander breathed deeply and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me against his chest. I

allowed myself to rest my cheek against his warm skin and its soft sensation. I know I was

trembling like a leaf (and that in that position my backside and back were starting to hurt a little

from the fall), but not out of pity for myself; rather from the terrifying idea that Alexander might not

like that. Would he love me the same if I couldn’t have children for him? I already loved him too

much; it was unfair that…

It was truly shocking to realize that I was already thinking about giving him children. That I loved him. We hadn’t done more than exchange a few kisses and tear off some clothing.

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