On the Edge (The Grange Complex Book 1) novel Chapter 5

 I didn’t have a very good day yesterday. It was late when I finally got into the city and the estate agent that my solicitor had recommended was already closed. The adrenaline was coursing through me and I was so pissed off that I wasted so much time in Dexter’s office. This wasn’t the only thing that I was angry about. I let him touch me and I liked it when I wasn’t supposed to.

Kirk was the reason that I couldn’t gain control of my emotions. For nine months I had been avoiding men, slowly picking up the pieces of my broken self. Now I was falling under the spell of a man that only wanted to use me for sex, and that was a huge mistake. Kirk had violated me: he had been sleeping with my best friend the entire time we had been in a relationship. When I found out, he turned into a violent and sadistic man. I didn’t want to remember the pain, the trauma and sleepless nights. It was all in the past, it had to be forgotten.

I knew that Dexter was going to be a problem. He wanted to play with me, knowing that I was attracted to him. Well, he’d have to show me that I was more than just a quick, easy lay. I wasn’t ready for a full-blown relationship, but I didn’t need Dexter Tyndall to bang me just so he could get me out of his head. 

It had been months since I’d last been in Edinburgh. Even when I visited my parents in Glasgow, I never used to go out anywhere. I was too scared of bumping into someone that I knew. Kirk was a very outgoing guy and we had shared the same friends. When I left the hospital I didn’t know that he had set them against me. A few weeks after our breakup, everyone that meant something in my life turned their backs on me. At that point I was too traumatised to deal with it, so I moved away.

The loud horn brought me back to reality and I looked around, realising that I'd wandered off further away than I anticipated. I spotted a fitness centre in the next building. There was no point hiding anymore and I was out of my grief, done with playing the victim. I walked towards it, wanting to see what kind of classes the centre had to offer. My stomach made a funny jolt when I saw pole-dancing lessons on the poster. Fate slapped me on the wrist. It’d been nine months since I last practised. I checked the time and realised that the class was starting in about five minutes. I was so out of shape, but I loved pole dancing and I wanted to prove to myself that I could still do it.My friend Donna had convinced me to try it when I was only twenty-two. She dropped out after a few sessions, telling me that it wasn’t for her. I stayed, learning from an award-winning pole dancer. She taught me all the basic moves before I started creating my own routines. A few months after meeting Kirk, I started lying to him, saying that I was going to yoga twice a week. I didn’t know why, but I felt embarrassed. Turned out he had too much time on his hands, so he started shagging my best friend when I didn’t give him the attention he wanted.

During the class I had felt sexy, invincible and on the top of the world. It was hard work, but the satisfaction that I got out of it kept me going. My problems and worries didn’t matter.

“The hell with it,” I said aloud and opened the door to the studio. I needed to feel it again, the thrill of excitement deep in my stomach, the joy after the class. I could sort the stuff with the sale of the apartment tomorrow; tonight I wanted to dance again. 

I climbed the stairs, knocked on a white door, and walked inside. My heart accelerated when I saw a large open classroom with mirrors on the wall and three stations with poles. There were only a few women there, stretching and talking amongst themselves.

“Are you here for a lesson?” asked a very pretty woman with curly red hair.

“Yes. I just saw your poster and I was wondering if I could join in?”

“The beginner class is tomorrow at the same time.”

“No, sorry, I’m not a beginner. I've been dancing for a years, but I don’t have the proper clothes,” I told her, massaging the nape of my neck, feeling like an idiot. Who comes into the gym without the proper gear?

“Great, please join us. I should have spare shorts in my bag if you’re okay with that. The fee is six pounds,” she said smiling, not looking fazed at all by my awkwardness. Two other women looked pleased to have more company. I dug money out of my bag and handed it to her.

“It’s been nine months since I last danced and I’m not in shape, but I know quite a few good routines.”

“That’s superb. I haven’t been teaching that long anyway, but I’m sure we can learn something from each other. My name is Gina, by the way.”

“I’m Sasha.” Gina handed me her black shorts and showed me to the dressing room. Several minutes later I was out, standing by the pole.

After a quick stretch, Gina asked me to pair with her and two other women. They were already moving around the pole, trying a few simple spins. I knew that I was going to be sore tomorrow, but I felt good. When Gina showed us some of her moves, I knew that I made the right decision.

It didn’t take me long to remember what I needed to do. For some time I only watched Gina as she moved her body around the pole with finesse and elegance. My own self-confidence was buried deep inside me, but I knew the lessons would remind me that I was no longer that broken woman, but a damn good dancer.

“Now, your turn. Show us what you can do,” she said, jumping off the pole and wiping the sweat off her forehead.

I nodded and started walking around the pole with my inside arm holding onto it. I used my outside leg to gain momentum, swinging and hooking it around the front of the pole. As my inside leg left the floor, I brought my arm to the pole. I crossed my legs at the ankles and then I slid down the pole. I did a few more circles to get ready for a fireman spin. Nine months was a really long time, but it seemed as if my muscles remembered the moves.

The girls looked like they were expecting more, so I lay on my back next to the pole, then I reached out and gripped it strongly. I used my upper body to roll myself to the other side of the pole, keeping my lower body flat like a plank at the same time.

From then I went back and repeated the fireman spin. My upper body had lost its strength and I knew that I had to practise a lot harder in order to get to the same form that I'd had nine months ago. Soon my muscles were burning and my breathing was shallow, but I was ready for more.

Gina and the girls looked impressed when I did hollywood, martini and stag spins, one after another. These were still basics, but I felt like I executed them well. I was high from the adrenaline.