Rejected Mate and Following Fate - Awakening Book novel Chapter 13

I fall silent as I pull on the last item from the pile, gritting my teeth at his pigheaded denseness, as that ember erupts into a little flame, pushing my nerves taut. A small candle sized one, that hits in the dark recess and instantly glows, and grows, to epic proportions of robust flame, that moves me to dress faster with a hostile last tug to secure my pants. My blood boiling as it overtakes me, and I sweep my hair back with sass and grab the door handle angrily.

Yanking the door open, surprised to come face to face with him as he’s leaning his forehead against the door and I almost face butt him full on. His eyes glowing with the turmoil of his emotions, but it does little to dampen mine. It only notches my inner fury up another click. They meet mine and lock on in that special way we have whenever our eyes connect, the sizzle, the connection, but he isn’t expecting the response that comes out of me. Nor the rage. That little burning flame of crazy that explodes at the sight of him.

“You didn’t even like me before that night! You didn’t know me! This, us, it’s not real. It’s something implanted inside of us by something up there.” I point skyward, aggressively, glaring at him. “We would never have fallen for one another, never have crossed paths in any kind of way if it wasn’t for the fates. I wasn’t on your radar, and to be honest, I didn’t even like you anyway.” I shove him back out of my space with a push to his ab’s, so he clears the doorway, and he just gawps at me like I’ve lost my mind. Maybe I have! “You don’t even remember me, do you? … Before that night. I didn’t think so! … You need to pull your head out of your ass and remember that. Carmen was the woman you loved and planned a life with, and you chose her…. Loud and painfully clear! You said the words to me, and this is done. The fates didn’t stop us, Colton, you did and your family, and everyone else in this hell hole that confined my kind to a dark hole on the outskirts and left us there to die. So don’t you dare tell me how awful this is for you, because you have no fucking idea what awful is until you’ve walked in my shoes for the last ten years of life. You have Carmen, you have a pack, a home, and a fucking choice in all of this. I never did! The fates didn’t punish you with this, they probably expected you to man up and do what they told you to do, for whatever reason they decided on us! You did this to us! You did this to me! Suck it up and shut the fuck up!” I have no idea where this angry dress down comes from, but I deliver it in a raspy, accusatory tone, right into his face. No fear or wuthering wallflower, cowering in front of an alpha of the pack. Just an angry girl, in the face of a stupid boy, who bruised her heart and is pissing her off by denying his part in it. A powerful frustration filled lecture, snarls and throaty growls included, and I lock a penetrating gaze on him pinning him where he stands as though I could impale him with looks alone.

It’s true though. He can stand making speeches and regretful apologies from now until eternity, but the simple fact is, Colton had a choice, and this is what he chose. He doesn’t get to whine like some spoiled pup about it now. He’s an alpha for god’s sake, and he needs to own it. Not act like some overdramatic teen whose parents are being lame and stopping him from doing something superficial.

He stares back at me in utter shock, rendered mute at my outburst and unsure how to even respond anyway. Even his mind link is silent. I don’t think any wolf this far below his station has ever talked to him like that, and he doesn’t seem like he knows quite how to respond. If I was anyone else, he probably would have me pinned to the floor by the throat and reminded them who their alpha was. Instead he’s silently shocked that I even had it in me.

I ‘arghh’ at him, and shove him back abruptly, marching past, simmering with this sudden newfound rage and I know it can only be some sort of delayed reaction to what happened tonight.

I’m not myself, I don’t feel like I’m really here, and to be honest this whole Carmen, Colton, Vampires, bullshit and being brought to the home of the people who made my last decade worthless, is all a little too much for me right now. I’m angry, seething, bubbling away inside... at him, them, life, The god damn fates. Most of all, I’m angry at me; for being this weak stupid girl who wasn’t good enough to keep, and too useless and vulnerable to save her friends. Her family.

I lost everything and I almost died. Terrified inside, deep down, like a churning pit of foreboding that shadows me, of the monsters I knew only from stories. The ones who jumped out of the fables and threw me out of my own bedroom window.

Knowing they are out there and close enough to really devastate our kind is enough in itself to make me cower for the rest of my life. They had a weapon, a sound, that much like Carmen’s had the ability to hurt us and render us unable to turn. That means we’re no longer the stronger in this newfound war and we can all be killed. I have bigger things in my head right now, than love confessions, and pining assholes trying to mess with my head, while arguing with his mate.

“I’m not going to spend my days whining about this crap, and I need you to just stop, okay. The words you said in the forest were the end of this. There’s nothing to say or drag out and talk through.” I turn on him aggressively, lifting my palms in a show of ‘what now?’, meaning where the hell am I meant to be going in this damned house because I have never been here before and I’m fucking lost. He nods back at a door behind me with very little to say. His expression ashen, temporarily without words, and not really tackling my mood in the slightest.

To be honest, he looks a little shellshocked and right now, I don’t really care. I have weeks of pent up heartbreak at this guy’s hands and I’m done being a push over. My life, in one night, went from awful, to completely rock bottom, end of the line, apocalypse, kind of bad. I have bigger headaches than him.

My emotions starts shredding and unraveling now that I let all of that out, chest hit with a heavy shunt, and suddenly I don’t’ feel so pent up and hostile anymore, instead I feel like maybe, I might actually cry. From rage and frustration to a sudden need to lie down and sob. Energy burning out from venting, and reality coming back full circle to remind me that I’ve lost everything.

I spin away from him to head on, then stop, shudder involuntarily as the overwhelming wave hits me at full speed and the tidal wave of tears come out of nowhere. I don’t even have a chance to try and combat it before it hits full throttle. Breaking and flinching as I lose control and they start to fall. Coughing on the woeful sound that escapes me and smothering my face with both hands to try and catch the waterfall as it pours from my eyes.

“Lorey, baby, don’t.” Colton catches me by the arm, tries to pull me towards him but I throw him off, putting too much force into shoving him away from me and sending him back stepping by about three feet. Startling him with my show of force as he raises his palms to show he won’t retaliate. Even breaking down like a feeble femme, there’s an internal burning rage that just isn’t ready to die.

“Don’t. I don’t need you touching me, consoling me. I just need you to leave me alone. All of you. I was fine on my own before, and I’ll be fine on my own again.” Not really accurate, but irrational, and hormonal, are not states to be argued with, and all I know is I need to get out of here and run. I need space. From him, them, this, my whole head mess of pain, at knowing from tonight onwards, nothing is going to be the same ever again.

I turn and head for the front door impulsively, not caring about anything else but getting solitude, the darkness invading the open space as I reach it, sending an internal shiver of terror down into my stomach. I peer out into the unknown, from a doorway I’ve never known and with the knowledge that creatures out there worse than us mean us harm. They could be anywhere, and I have no place to return too now either.

“No!” Colton yanks me back with force and I spin on him tearfully. “I’ll leave you alone, but you’re not leaving this house. It’s dangerous out there for all of us now, and I won’t let you go.” He pins me with a commanding look and a hostile tone, veiling a sliver of fear for my safety, but I throw it aside and cast of his emotions that are starting to flood me once more. I open my mouth to bark a refusal, but he hits me with a mental link and that dominant tone that instantly disables me.

You are not to leave this pack house without my say so, and you won’t argue! Stop it, now!

My head buzzes, both with rage and sheer frustration, as words catch in my throat and almost choke me instantaneously. I can’t get them out, his gift being misused to confine me to his home and stop my need to tell him what I think of his ‘commands’. Rendered mute because he forbade me to argue and the only words poised are one’s that tell him where to go. I instead throw my hands in the air, glaring furiously at him and then sucker punch him in the abs, out of intense frustration. He flinches, half smiling with a shocked response, total disbelief that I’m being this aggressive and a little apprehensive in how to react. I storm left, heading for the bathroom I just came from. Hating on him for being such a bossy asshole and exerting his powers over me when he has no god damn right.

Colton catches me by the elbow instantly, and yanks me to the right instead, heading for the stairs at a fast pace that signals he’s in no mode to argue about it. Forced by his strength. Not even letting me choose where I get to be alone and it riles me, that simmering fire in my belly back in a flash to push all tame aside and my inner demon shows face. I start fighting him, every inch of the way, by tugging, and squirming, and pushing him off, stabbing him with scathing pointed glares, refusing to relent. I pull his hand from my arm, getting madder when he grabs me by the other instead, a tighter, biting grip, that is meant to bring me back to heel. I twist it away, but to no avail as he shunts me from behind, then slides his arms around my body and continues to forcefully guide and push me where he wants me to go. It becomes a juvenile game of slapping, grabbing, shoving, tugging, and he gets me around the waist and lifts me from my feet before I ram an elbow straight in his face, crunching on the bridge of his nose and bruising my bone in the process.

“Fuck sakes, Lorey!” He snaps at me, losing his shit completely and halts as we hit the foot of the stair. Seriously emanating all kinds of rage at my refusal to be controlled and glares, hitting me with a full-on furious frown and sneer. He turns me snappily, hauls me towards him by the waist, bends and hoists me over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

Not playing anymore; his anger radiating hotter than the sun, but it only heightens my own. Carrying me as I squirm and wriggle and kick out, using my nails on his back in a bid to make him drop me. He grips me tight and does the worst thing he can do in this moment. He uses his gift again, in a bid to get me to do as he wants, against my will.