Rejected Mate and Following Fate - Awakening Book novel Chapter 16

I wake up face down on the floor in a heap, arm draped awkwardly over my head and limbs splayed out on the hardwood, disorientated, choking on my own blood, and gagging on bile. Gathering my wits and trying to get my bearings, I struggle to move, dazed for a moment and then I remember where I am, and what he’s doing to me. Like a rush of water flowing back to a dry riverbed when the damn is breached.

That surge of furious self-preservation, instant awareness as the room comes back at me and I jump up, heart tearing through my chest with elevated thuds, claws appearing, mind a burning mess of mad. Ready to take him on in a battle to the death and fueled by something inside of me that I never knew I possessed.

I feel like my hatred could melt steel, with the heat radiating from my fiery depths and I spin hysterically, ready to demolish my attacker. Body mid turn in furious speed when I realize he is on the other side of the room from me and looking at me like I have two heads. A good twelve feet away at the least and crouching down, panting heavily, as though he too is recovering.

“Woah, woah. Lorey, calm down, I didn’t do anything. Stop and breathe. Take a moment before you start again!” He jumps to his feet, hyperaware of my sudden rise. His palms up, facing me, flat out and he is completely naked, as am I, which only pushes me to heights of venomous hatred.

Claws fully extend as do my teeth and my body shudders as it begins to transform around me, ready to fight him and maim him until this pain inside of my heart starts to ebb. I’m crushed inside, as though my soul is ripped to shreds and hanging around my organs like unwanted trash on the wind. I’ve never felt this much aggression or blood lust, and I have him fully in my sights. My body tingling all over even though I have no memory of what he has put me through, but enough to know what he intended.

“What did you do to me? Why would you do that to me?” I scream at him, my voice pitched in raw, raspy, hysteria, but he raises his hands higher and pleads with me mentally. His eyes softening, with no attempt to turn, as he watches me at a distance.

Please stop and listen. Let me explain. I haven’t, and wouldn’t, do that to you. He coaxes gently.

You raped me!! I mentally scream back at him, not seeing anything around me anymore, just the pulsing beat of the vein in his throat as I hone in and know where I’ll be aiming with my take down bite, I don’t care if it ends us both. I’ll kill him for defiling me, destroying my trust in him, ravaging my heart and soul this way.

He shakes his head, looking completely devastated and disheveled. Radiating so many emotions my way but I battle them back, like bouncing tennis balls off a glass wall.

NO, I did not! I never intended to either. Lorey, please, sit… I’ll stay here, you stay there, and just let me talk. I need you to calm down and listen. Think. Remember.

I’m breathing so heavily my chest is heaving and I can’t calm down. Especially not when he’s telling me to. He has no right; he can’t be serious with this shit after what he just did. He broke the trust, he broke us, he ruined the bond, and nothing will fix that.

My body is on fire, my blood like molten lava in my veins and I can already tell I’ve turned enough to heal the marks he made on my body because there is no pain and only dried blood. In fact, my complete lack of injury or any sort of niggling physical hurt, tell me I already turned, but I don’t know how if I was unconscious, or if that’s even possible if you’re not lucid. I shake it away and glare hatefully, focusing all my rage on his face.

I hate him so much I can almost taste it. I’ll never let him touch me again or come near me. I’ll rip his throat out if he tries. He’s disgusting and vile to me now and not who I thought he was. An abuser, unworthy as a leader; not worthy as a mate, as an alpha, and not as a lycanthrope.

“What did you do? Stop lying” It’s a hiss through a sob, a heartbreaking wail of betrayal, a howl from my wounded wolf and I’m completely desolate. I don’t believe him; about what he says he didn’t do because I don’t know. I blacked out while he was on top of me, doing things…. he had no intention of stopping. He said it… He commanded me. He tried to immobilize me so he could finish the deed.

“I had to make you snap. I told you it’s what I intended. And you did. It worked……You’re amazing…… your gift, baby, it’s fucking perfect.” There’s a moment of joy followed by a frown as he realizes I am not sharing in his celebrations or relaxing from my stance. Instead I blanche at him in stupefied silence. My brain having a moment and I literally think he might be some kind of sociopath, in denial about what he just did to me…or tried to…or… I don’t even know anymore.

“What are you talking about? I blacked out! How would I fucking do anything except lay there and succumb?” another sobbing wail, and Colton’s face completely drops, obvious regret written all over him and the overpowering sense of pain waving my way. I can feel him trying to tell me this isn’t how it seems, by using his emotion instead of words. I’m weakening as adrenalin wains, but I won’t relent, and try hard to brick up my wall once more, to keep him out.

“The human in you zoned out, not the wolf. You lost control, and you turned, you disabled me completely. You threw me across the room with a strength I couldn’t match. You came at me… I swear, you had me running around this room just to stop you tearing me from limb to limb. Complete direct focus and not taking out the house in aftermath, so you’re learning to focus it... Lorey, you had me, and I honestly don’t think I’d still be here if your energy levels hadn’t gone down before I did.” Again, with that hint of pride and joy, but my death glare and crouch to pounce mode has him hurrying the words out, realizing he isn’t calming me one ounce and I’m ready for a battle, or a second one. I can smell a hint of slight fear coming my way and it only fuels my desire to make him pay. “You pushed all of your rage on my body, and if I wasn’t half turned and healing fast, you would have killed me. Do you understand? … Blind sighted, and feral, you would have ended us both…. easily. You got in my head in ways I don’t think any wolf has ever been capable and you commanded me to stay down and stop. I couldn’t move. You alpha toned me. You took my strength, my command and you turned it and made it a weapon. Baby, don’t you see… you’ve barely grazed the surface of what you can do, and yet you have so much power and potential already. There’s a sea of something inside of you, and your eyes, we still need to figure out why they’re red. You’re not a reject, you’re not even a regular pack wolf, you’re special, and now we know for sure we can harness it, nurture it, bring it out, so you can control it and show all of them who you really are…… there’s a Luna inside of you, and the fates, they gave you to me for that reason. My father can’t deny you if he can see this kind of power in you.” Colton moves slightly forward, breathless with talking fast, still wary, his hands still up, his eyes locked on mine, but the trust is wounded and I back away. Snarling at him, baring my teeth as I flicker from human to wolf again slowly, panting with shallow breaths as my heart pounds faster and rage and fear claws me apart.

I’m afraid and I don’t believe anything he’s saying to me even if a logical pull is tugging from the recess of my mind. He stops, looks utterly hopeless and drops his eyes to the floor.

“I know how it looks. I had to make you fight back, and I knew that was a surefire way. I had to see. This changes things Lorey, can’t you understand? Our packs are verging on a war where more than ever my mate has to be capable of standing by my side and fighting worse than us. You can absorb my gifts, which means you can absorb any that you come up against, turn them into something more powerful and use them with control. You were right when you said I made a choice and I did ... but this is how we change it. My father has to see that you’re not a black mark on our people if the fates gave you a gift like this. There’s hope that I can have them accept you into the pack and lay claim to what the fates ordained. You as my mate… as we always should have been...” The muscle twinge in his jaw, the flicker of his eyes on mine as he begs me to believe, has me spiraling.

I shake my head at him, so consumed with mistrust, my mind a flurry of conflicting emotions, backing into a corner until I hit the edge of the bed. It startles me and I seem to snap out of my intense focus on him and look around for the first time, really seeing the room.

It’s complete devastation; something worse than the carnage at the orphanage and I gasp as my eyes follow the gouges and claw marks running not just across floor, and walls, but ceilings too. There has been an epic battle in this room.