Rejected Mate and Following Fate - Awakening Book novel Chapter 25

It’s been a few days since Colton told me about his mom and I swear she keeps plaguing my thoughts. It’s like a tiny itch in my brain I can’t shake, and I keep coming back to it repeatedly for no obvious reason. I even dreamt of her last night, and it was the weirdest most confusing thing ever. It came after I finally located a memory of her in this shared library of thoughts and couldn’t shake her soft face from my visuals. I must have tried too hard and implanted her in my brain to mess with me, it’s the only explanation.

I do remember her vaguely without Colton’s influence, only in my own memories she’s faceless, because I couldn’t remember her all that well, so it’s nice to apply features to her. She has Colton’s flawless beauty, his black hair, darkest chocolate eyes, and sallow skin, with a soft ambience that’s less masculine than his.

She used to come to the library near our farm every weekend to read books to the children. I remember her being a caring quiet lady, well spoken, well dressed, and she had no prejudices whatsoever against wolves from rival packs, the children were all one to her. She always wanted to see us live in peace and harmony, and she had this warm pull that I see in Colton sometimes, when he isn’t closing up on me and freezing me out.

The dream lingers in my mind, despite being up for hours, and now, I’m sat on the grass taking a break from training and can still feel her voice ebbing back to me from the recess of my mind. Fatigue letting it slip back in as I cool down and catch my breath, and her haunting melodic tone, filled with pleading, rings through again, the words which woke me this morning.

“Save us.”

It’s all that comes through and it gives me the same shivers it did when I dreamt it. She walked up to me, in a bright white, sterile, wall less space, with no one else around me but blurred nothingness of light and stale air. Standing in the middle of what felt like a hospital, I don’t know, unsure where I was meant to go or how I even got there. Confused.

She appeared in the distance at first, catching my eye, almost hazy and surrounded by a fog which cleared as she came closer. Dressed in a light shapeless gown, almost like a medical covering, except it was pure snow white, not blue, or patterned. Her hair was loose, free, and hung longer than I can recall from my memory bank, almost touching her waist, whereas she always kept it jaw length in even Colton’s memories.

When she came into focus at first, I could see her cheeks were wet with tears, eyes blood shot, her skin streaked where they had fallen repeatedly and her smock was soaked through, as though they’d been absorbing thousands of them, for an eternity. Her desperate sadness consumed, and overwhelmed me, and I was rooted to the spot, unable to breathe with the heaviness of her pain.

She was eerily pale, beautiful still, but only the shadow of the woman from Colton’s memories, thin and worn down, as though her life was being sucked away. She touched my face softly, startling me with the sheer heat she exuded, leaned in so close that she almost kissed me, her warmth invading the coolness of my own air and whispered it right into my face, startling me to wake in the dull stillness of my own room.

Those two damned words.

Shuddering again, aware the memory of her touch on my skin has pushed a physical sensation on my cheek, and I touch it in a bid to remove the feel of it. The dream felt so real and I hate that it won’t leave me alone in waking hours, replaying on a loop, and affecting me so deeply. The total opposite to Colton though, as he’s been practically absent, physically, and mentally.

Something he’s been doing for an infuriating number of days. It’s like opening up about her reminded him of all the reasons he chose to reject me, and he back tracked at a hundred miles an hour and completely pulled away. He’s been on active avoidance ever since and it’s both broken me and pissed me off beyond the limits of boundary.

He comes to training, barks orders at me from a safe distance, and has our mind link on permanent closed door. It’s making me madder than hell, infuriating that once again he has done another U turn, but whenever I try to talk to him, he walks off and blanks me. He makes sure I can’t get close, I can’t touch him, and he either sticks with the sub pack so I can’t get him alone or leaves before anyone else does so I can’t follow. A big fat ‘stay away’ from me aura, all around that dense head of his, and he won’t even look me in the eye.

I know what he’s doing, and as much as I want to punch him in his genitals for it, I do understand, but it’s just so frustrating. What makes is worse, is Carmen has caught onto the strained atmosphere and is laying on the oozing flirt mode with all her might, driving even the males of the pack to eye roll every time she baby talks him. I think she sees it as hope, or an opening that she’s on the path to getting him back, and it’s making me sick to watch her smugly move in on him at every opportunity she gets.

Colton still isn’t tolerating her, but it doesn’t mean I’m not having visions of turning and ripping her throat out multiple times a day. Killing a fellow wolf from your pack is a mortal sin, no matter the excuse, but I would happily pay the time for that crime.

Meadow is the only thing keeping me sane, and last night she camped out in my room to cheer me up and distract me, watching movies, and having girl time to throw off all the stresses of everything going on around us. She brought me clothes, and make up, not that I need them now my own belongings were left at my door when I came back from training a couple of days ago. I suspect Colton went and packed up everything with my scent on in the orphanage, but I can’t be sure, and he won’t stick around to let me ask him at all. It adds to my fury, because it shows he still cares, he still thinks about my needs, but he won’t face me at all. His mind is set, and I know what this means for us, he’s already chosen his course of action and he’s biding his time until it’s done.

He doesn’t come to mess hall to eat either, just shows up at the park to train and leaves as soon as we’re done for the day. He spends the rest of his time with Juan, patrolling the lay of the land, and overseeing the training camp and the new buildings. I’ve seen them walking together many times and I almost couldn’t control my own loathing growls, or the hatred I have for that man.

The pack is getting uneasy and Meadow mentioned that he hasn’t called any kind of communal since, as though he’s avoiding any real dialogue with any of us. He knows the pack will have questions about this. He brought me to them, made it seem like I might have a chance and then snubbed me as they were beginning to accept my presence.