Rejected Mate and Following Fate - Awakening Book novel Chapter 59

“Right now, all we have is time to kill. Sierra is a couple of days before we even know how much recovery she’s going to need. It may be weeks before either of you are unbound. For now, we need to spread this among the pack and let them decide whose side they are on. Hybrids have always been a secret, and now their leaders are mixes of the enemies they hold within them. The pack needs to know everything, and after, those who are still here, and choose to stay, they can’t ever hold it against any of us again…. we are who we are.” Meadow gets up and stands beside Colton, turning to the rest of the pack and drawing my eve back across the room at them from my horizontal position. What she says makes perfect sense and yet it’s utterly terrifying.

Outing everything to the rest of the pack. Telling them what I am, what he is, what they are, and opening all out and laying it bare for them to choose which side they want to follow. We may lose everyone. There has never been an outpouring of such honesty among this pack for decades under Juan’s rule. Some may not want to accept the truth.

“We give them a choice and until my mom wakes up, to make a decision. Stay and accept me and Alora or go back to the mountain to my dad, whom they might deem their true alpha if they think I’m impure. From now on, no more secrets. We let the Shaman teach what he knows to be true in the school hall, and whoever wants to know can join in.” Colton’s voice is hoarse, a husky undertone of fatigue, and he rubs his hand over the back of his neck, rolling his shoulders before exhaling heavily. A sign he’s stressing about this choice, but he knows it’s inevitable. His intentions are the right thing, but much like me, there’s apprehension in him and a fear the pack will up and leave when they know what he is. What I am.

“Let’s get to it at first light. We can split up and project on small groups at a time, let them pass it on. Won’t take long to cover the whole pack and spread the memories. That gives us the whole day to get through all of them, but right now, we should all sleep. We’ve had a long night and the new patrols are out doing the walks already. We need rest.” Meadow claps her hands to get everyone up, and the air of heavy mood and simmering anger at the lies they were drip fed their whole life is evident in the smog around them. It’s thick, and dense, like I could cut it with a knife.

The subs are angry, hurt, confused, but one thing is clear. It didn’t change the loyalty, or love, within any one of them and through all of the emotions swirling in this room, one stands out the strongest. The unity and devotion they have for one another. The sense of solidarity, that any one of them are one hundred percent behind Colton with whatever he wants to do. That’s a real pack, that’s the bond of family, and I know I’m not officially one of them, but they make me feel as though I am. They’re my pack, no matter what happens with Colton, they’re not going to lose me for a second time. I need these people.

One by one they stand and begin to shuffle out of the room, some of the boys stopping to fist bump Colton on the way by in that very bro way they have with one another, they wave my way, and I sit up properly, pulling myself to the edge of the bed to stand ,and find out where I’m meant to go, but Colton’s voice in my head stills me.

Stay put. You look beat and need the rest. This room is fine, and no one will come in here without my say so. His voice inside my head, always that aching wave of intimacy, and yet sorrow, and all I can do is nod his way and avoid direct eye contact. I’m too fatigued for more emotional head mess and his lips are still lingering on mine from his kiss earlier, tingling softly, reminding me that when it comes to him, I’m stupidly weak, especially when I’m this tired.

I flop back down, glad I don’t have to now find the energy to go anywhere, but at the same time, I feel a little disorientated at the thought of staying here by myself. I’ve been alone for weeks, knowing only the solitude, and sounds of nature, and the wilds. Now here I am, thrust back into civilization and tossed around for the last twenty-four hours in a bizarre and noisy manner and I haven’t really had a moment to reacclimatize, or even catch my breathe. It’s all a muddled mess of crazy, and now with the opportunity to lie back and let it sink in, it seems terrifying. I’m sort of depending on their company to keep me sane, and stop my mind from wandering, and I’m not sure I want to be alone anymore. I think I had my fill of it in the forests, the reminder of the never-ending loneliness I experienced, and I stop him as he goes to leave.

“Where will you be?” I sound as desperate as I feel, blurting out a delaying tactic and I scold myself for the neediness. I guess I feel out of whack and set adrift now all my plans were upended, and life got completely side-tracked. And having no answers, and no direction, other than just waiting, is like having the rug pulled out from under you. It feels awful and he’s been the constant, stable, wise words, knows what he’s doing, in all of this. Right from day one that in this moment, I need it.

“Across the hall in the infirmary with my mom. You can have this room until we figure things out. If you need me, then link me, and I’ll come back.” He throws me that sexy, genuine smile, his voice low, and fading, because he too is exhausted.