SAGE novel Chapter 16

Sage Miller

I was almost glad summer is almost over. Looking back I realized how much crazy the summer has been. I realized that I didn't even celebrate 4th of July but it's not like I've ever celebrated it.

I won't say I'm happy to wake up early and having to deal with insufferable teachers.

Well I look at it this way, only two years until I'm out of that shit whole. So that's a plus right?

It's been two weeks straight since I last saw Alora. Guilt wouldn't let me go through with what I told her and pride didn't let me apologize.

I'll admit this much, I did shameless things. I hid my number and called her numerous times and said nothing when she answered just to hear her voice.

I'm pathetic right?

I miss her but I can't have her nor do I wanna lose her. I can't stay with her and I don't wanna keep her either.

It's fucked up. I'm fucked up.

At least one positive thing came out of this summer, I got to do the only thing worth doing, spending time with Eve.

She has been more calmer and relaxed even though I dealt with a few breakdown courtesy of Styles. But I would choose those breakdown than dealing with an aftermath after Clara break her.

Well Styles..... Styles is the Godfather. There's nothing I can do about it. That one night I got to see him vulnerable was never mentioned. It was as if it never happened. Either he doesn't remember or he's pretending but either way, I never brought it up.

Things between us are different yet the same.

He gets pissed when I spend too much time at Zac's. Especially when Mason's there.

It's still a mystery how he knows everytime Mason is there.

Sebastian is another story on its own. He's pissy and it's annoying. I choose to avoid him most of the time.

Well Connor is still Connor. He gets busy with his night job and we find time to party when he's free.

I can say it's been a good summer just not the one I had planned.

My phone vibrated as I opened the door . I took it out and my lips curved upwards.

'Shopping this Saturday. And I'm not asking it's an order. It's your big sis talking'

I smiled brighter reading the text from Eve. She was pulling rank on me. it's funny because I look older than her. People often mistake me for the older sibling.

'I thought you hatred shopping?'. I replied and not even seconds later a response appeared on the tiny screen.

"I don't anymore.'

We texted for almost twenty minutes before we said our goodbyes. About a year ago we didn't do this. We didn't text sharing funny stories.

About a year ago our lives were different. We fought just to make it through the night.

"Mummies and zombies aren't the same." Connor argued once more.

We just finished watching 'The mummy' but I couldn't even remember how we got to this argument.

"Yes they are." I repeated for the thousand time.

"Your hypothesis is disproved by all the data. You're just clinging to your logic out of stupid stubbornness." He said and I gasped.

"You're showing a shocking ignorance at the subject at hand." I argued back. I'm stubborn, I can't help it but on this case I wasn't just stubborn.

"Mummies are wrapped in bandages and they dont eat brains." He pointed out.

"That's called a fashion choice as for the brain part, that's a lifestyle choice. They might be vegan." I stated in a matter of fact.

He huffed in annoyance. This argument was dragging on forever because someone AKA Connor didn't wanna agree that zombies and mummies are the same.

"If a zombie bites you, you turn into a zombie however if a mummy bites you, you turn into a dickhead with a mummy bite." He smugly said with a stupid smirk.

"That's where you're wrong because-." As I was about to prove this fucker wrong. The door bell rang.

At first I ignored it not really wanting to go open the door.

"You go get it." I told Connor but Connor wasn't having any of it.

"No you get it. I got it when the pizza guy was here. It's your turn dude."

Stupid agreement. We had an agreement that we'd take turns answering the door.

I huffed and stood up marching to the door already annoyed at the person on the other side of the door.

As soon as I opened the door my jaw dropped. I was suddenly glad Connor wasn't the one who opened the door.

"Seb." I breathed out. Shock was evident in my voice and face.

He had his hands in his pocket and he was staring at his shoes.

Seeing his standing in my door step was so damn unreal. I had to blink to really believe what I was seeing.

"Can we.. umm.. can we talk?" He asked hesitantly.

When I didn't reply he looked up. His brown eyes showed how guilty he really was and my heart went put for him.

Sebastian Wilder

My life wasn't easy but it didn't matter much because I had made peace with it.

Mom chose doing heroin over me. She chose her countless boyfriends over me over and over again until I decide I didn't care anymore. I wanted to move out.

So when Sage told me Connor was staying with him I felt like he was choosing him over me too. I felt neglected and hurt. It felt like he was choosing someone else over me too.

And the truth is, I'm insecure.

It felt exactly how I felt every time mom chose something or someone over me.

Another person choosing everything over me. It stung like a bitch.

I might have said somethings I didn't mean and stayed away out of stubbornness of not wanting to apologize.

And when I saw how the Godfather liked him. I became more bitter. I was envious of him. I always have been.

I wasn't like him. People didn't like me like they did him. I still wonder how Connor and Sage could stand me.

After all, my own mother couldn't stand me. Her own son. Her own flesh and blood.

In the process of my stupidity I lost the only two people who could stand me.

I was never good meeting new people. I'm antisocial and an asshole. I don't know how to put my foot on my mouth.

Sage was an asshole but he was nice enough for people to like him. His charm got him everything. The girls and he could get out of any trouble using just his smile.

Connor. Well Connor is nice. I mean really fucking nice. People like him. Everyone, even I like him. And when I told Sage Connor  wasn't my friend. I lied.

He's my friend. One of my best friend even and I feel so fucking guilty that I ruined his life.

Sometimes I wonder why are they still my friends.

People don't like me. Their afraid of me. I try so hard to be nice but they just feel so intimidated and I fucking hate that they flinch whenever I'm near.

Sage knows about my life. Well not all of it but he knows enough and so does Connor.

They know that mom is a crack hoe who couldn't care two cent about her piece of shit son.

But what they don't know is that for as long as I can remember I had to live on the neighbor's handouts. Their left over.

If it weren't for a neighbor who enrolled me in school I wouldn't have went to one. That's why I'm eighteen years in junior year.

I'd come back from school to find her past out on the sofa or high as a kite that she couldn't tell if I was standing in front of her.

But I'd love her then. As a seven year old. I'd clean after her and found whatever left over I'd find and if they weren't any, I'd go to bed in an empty stomach and waited for tomorrow when Sage would bring me lunch.

I always opted to go to Sage's house after school so I could at least eat. It sounds pathetic now but Sage never saw it as that.

I never knew my father, just like Connor but that was okay. I'd still loved my mom back then. I'd sit by her side when she was sick.

Eventually her boyfriends started beating me up and I hid it well. And when Sage's mom started being gone for days I'd spend my days at his house to avoid going home.

Eventually I got fed up with mom, stopped loving her and joined a gang for money. The pay was good and I could be an asshole and didn't have to worry about being liked.