Second Assault — Bond And Treason — novel Chapter 23

ALEXEI

—What? — My lungs suddenly seem to have forgotten to do their job properly —. Xander... What are you talking about?

—I'm sorry, Magnus — he mumbles nervously —. With everything that's happened, I've forgotten — I notice his hands are shaking slightly and the eyes are wandering across the room, avoiding mine.

He's scared and now I'm anxious to know what he has to show me. I stroke his cheek gently, sliding my fingers across his skin, down the contoured chin, lifting his face up, getting him to look at me again. His pupils are dilated and constantly chews on his lower lip, leaving it red and shiny with saliva. I swallow a sigh and try to concentrate on the subject.

—Tell me, kitty. Talk to me, I'm here for you — I try to keep my voice low and serene, I don't want him to feel pressured to do anything he doesn't want to do.

—I have... I mean... — his hands are clinging tightly to my shirt —. If my equipment wasn't disconnected during my... Absence — his gaze goes down in sorrow, before reconnecting it to mine —. I may have evidence from inside Dimitri's mansion — I press my grip around him unconsciously, my body is stiff and immobile as I watch Xander trapped in my arms.

—What are you talking about? — my tone a little more hostile than I intended, but I couldn't help it. If what Xander says is true, we'd have a huge advantage over Dimitri.

—My piercing... My eyebrow piercing — he points with a small finger at the silver ring piercing in the left eyebrow —. It's a camera.

—What?! — I immediately regret my reaction when Xander is startled —. I'm sorry, kitty. Forgive me — I rush to soothe him, running a hand through his hair repeatedly and leaving soft kisses on his face —. But, Xander...

—I know. Believe me, I know — Looking away again at the revelation of my unspoken words.

The possibility that everything and I mean everything, has been recorded through that tiny camera on his eyebrow is incredibly high, and the possibility that he is willing to expose that traumatic and humiliating part of his recent past makes me incredibly proud.

There is no doubt about how brave and strong he is to be capable of facing it, especially so soon.

—I have to check my equipment first to be sure — he says after a moment of silence —. Didn't you unplug it while I was gone?

—No. Everything was left as it was, except for when we had to do it before we came here — he nods and slowly separates from me.

—Will you come with me? — A bit shy and insecure —. I don't want to do it alone.

—Of course, kitty. You don't even have to ask — I watch his Adam's apple move up and down before turning, dress up quickly and head for the exit. I rush to follow him and now we're heading for the office I set up for him.

Anxiety flows through my entire body, although I try to suppress it as much as I can since I don't want him to feel it through our bond. By the time we get there, the room is in absolute darkness, so I hurry to turn on the light as Xander initiates the computer. We both sit at the desk and stare at the startup logo until he finally enters the main menu screen.

—Videos are deleted at the end of each month due to a setting I established — his hand rests on the mouse and moves it, clicking on a series of encrypted and password-protected folders. I make sure to save all his movements in my memory, just in case they are needed in the future —.if you ever need access, the password is "MagnusCooky38".

—MagnusCooky38? — I ask with a laugh —. Really?

—Yes, you idiot — he stops to playfully punch my arm, but the smile on his face reveals to me that he is not truly angry —. Don't mock, it's clever, no one would think of it — he turns and puts his attention back to the screen.

—No, you're probably right — but I'm still laughing, relieved to have released some of the tension in the air.

—Here they are — announces after a few seconds, pointing to a large number of videos with serial numbers as titles. There are about fifteen, maybe more —. The recordings are automatically cut at midnight and resumed at one o'clock in the morning.

He holds my face and whispers over my lips —. I just don't want you to hate me for it — My heart is squeezed inside my chest and I feel like an incredible weight is resting on my back.

—What are you talking about? — confusion and anger battling inside me —. Why would I hate you? — I separate from him so I can watch him in the eye —. He forced you, obliged you to do something you didn't want to do, Xander. He took something from you that you weren't even willing to offer him and nearly destroyed you. I could never hate you for that. Are you crazy? Why would you think something like that?

—I... I don't know — tears slide down the cheeks and his body shakes. I approach and embrace him, he sinks the face into my neck and inhales, managing to calm down almost immediately —.I thought that... You wouldn't want me again when you found out that someone else could... Could have...

—Well, you thought wrong — I assure and interrupted him.

—It's just that I feel so dirty, Magnus — panting and my heart seems to be cracking some more —. So broken, impotent. That I am no longer worthy of you. Please, help me — his arms encircle my neck and press firmly —. I need you... So much.

—You have me, kitty — my throat is burning as I try to hold back the crying —. Everything about me, you have it. Stop tormenting yourself like this. You're my partner, my life, the meaning of my existence. If I have to repeat every minute how much I love you and how happy you make me, I will do it without any doubts.

He kisses my neck and I shudder at the sensation of his sweet lips on my skin. We lasted a long time there, hugging and saying nothing more to one another. Xander has stayed so still in my arms that I thought he had fallen asleep, so I'm surprised when he finally wriggles out of my reach.

—Thank you — whispers, wiping the moisture from his cheeks with the shirt sleeves —. You make me happy too, Magnus. Without you, I'd never overcome all this — he smiles at me and points at the screen —. Shall we see them now?

—Yes, but we'll avoid the one that contains that... Event. Okay? — He nods and crosses the legs under his body —. We'll focus on collecting as much information from the place as possible, every little detail— I pause before adding —. Are you sure you want to do this? — he stares at me and in his eyes I can see the determination and confidence burning brightly.

—Yes, let's do it.