Sentenced to Marriage by MadlainQ novel Chapter 28

Doctor‘s appointment 

I couldn‘t explain how I felt when Aren admitted that he had almost lost control while kissing me. He surely indulged my vanity, making me feel attractive and desirable, but his words also scared me because I wanted at least one of us to be sane and rational, and I know I wasn‘t. It was time to face it: the physical attraction between us was mutual. 

After drinking ten glasses of cold enough to freeze my brain water, I decided to take a cool shower. Aren‘s words kept spinning inside my head. My heart hammered against my chest no matter how badly I tried to regain my composure. This was pure insanity. I had never wanted anyone as much asıl wanted this man. Each time he was around, I became overpowered by my primal, most basic instincts. Perhaps it would have been easier to cope with this craving if I wasn‘t so mentally damaged... 

I would love to be able to keep my emotions and physical pleasure separate. I knew many women that found it so natural. They could meet someone, sleep with him, and then decide whether or not they want to be involved with him romantically. I was their opposite. I wasn‘t raised in a conservative family, and my theoretical sexual education began quite early. Nonetheless, I created this perfect image inside my head that I would lose my virginity to someone I loved... This idealistic vision blinded me and lost me. I had mistaken physical attraction for actual feelings and ended up in a relationship that was nothing but toxic. It cost me my dignity, self–esteem, and confidence. The broken heart was a harmless bonus that Callan added to the list of damages. 

Perhaps it was fortunate that I had no time to suffer from heartache. I put a hundred percent of my energy into finding the best possible treatment for Grandma. However, because I hadn‘t got time to cry and feel miserable, my wounds had never truly healed... 

Normal people in my situation look for professional help and spend thousands of dollars on hours and hours of therapy. The problem was that I had neither money nor time for therapy. I had to find a way to process my problems myself and learn to live with them. 

‘I was more than aware that I had trust issues. It was a self–defense mechanism that should have protected me from the danger of being irreversibly broken. Yet, for some reason, that mechanism didn‘t work with Aren. My hormones happily paraded with “Screw trust!” written on their T–shirts every time I could sense him near me. It surely didn‘t help to see him shirtless before going back to bed. I could almost be certain that even if I managed to fall asleep, Aren would forcefully invade every image I dared to dream… 

*** 

At 8 AM, I received a text from Neil reminding me that I had a medical appointment that day. I was supposed to go through a series of tests concerning my health. Thankfully, my examination had nothing to do with starting a sexual relationship with Aren. I needed to get examined for much more mundane reasons... 

As I was told, it was one of the conditions that the Lan family set. Aren couldn’t marry a woman who was infertile or terminally ill. It sounded reasonable, but, truthfully, it was the first time that I cared whether I could have children or not. I had never considered myself a mother material. 

Printment 

Benjamin took me to Lan‘s private clinic. From the outside, it resembled a top–secret facility with a highly guarded gate and vast territory surrounding the modern, about twenty–story high, steel and glass building, I could see that the security cameras were everywhere. As I walked inside, I felt as if I was entering a biotech laboratory rather than going to see a doctor. I sighed in relief to see Neil standing by the reception desk. 

“I thought that you would be with Aren at the company today,” I said slightly suspiciously. “He told me to take care of you,” Neil explained, grinning before he gestured for me to follow him down the hall. 

“But... what about the company crisis?” I inquired. “It‘s been handled.” A mischievous smirk flashed on Neil‘s face, making me even more curious. 

“How?” I narrowed my eyes at him, certain that there was a story behind it. 

“Well... let‘s just say that you‘ve come just in time to help in the process.” He chuckled and pulled me to the side of the hallway, giving us more privacy, before continuing, “Mr. Lan needed to renegotiate a contract with one of our crucial suppliers. The new conditions they were giving us were impossible to accept. The supplier thought that there was no one else qualified to fulfill our demand, and they were right. It seemed like a lost cause, but then Mr. Lan walked in fiercely and told them that our deal was off because we‘ve found another company to handle our order.” 

I glanced at him, confused. “So… you found someone else?” 

“Doctor Corbyn will guide you from here,” Neil said, stopping in front of one of the doors. A sudden restlessness filled me, yet I was unable to explain why. I‘d never been scared of needles or other medical procedures, and strangely I found this appointment terrifying. Neil left me by that door, saying that he would come back later, and I hesitantly knocked on the door. 

“Come in!” I heard a female voice calling out from behind the door. I took a deep breath and entered. Inside the medical room, I saw an attractive brunette in a