She's the luna I want novel Chapter 9

JACE.

I couldn’t concentrate the whole weekend. I knew I came off as an asshole to Amara for pushing her away, but I only did it to protect her from me.

Perhaps I liked her more than she did, but I had nothing to offer her. If I knew that I would never meet my fated mate, I would give us a chance. I would take the risk, but I knew that someone out there was bound for me, and sooner or later I would meet her, and where would my kitten be the moment she appeared?

I might forget everything I felt for her and move on, while she would curse me for breaking her heart. If there was anyone I wanted to save, it was Amara, and if that meant not crossing the line between us, I would do so even if it made me appear to her as a jerk.

"What happened to us? Aren’t we supposed to be looking out for each other’s backs? Are you going to throw away almost fifteen years of friendship because of all this?" I asked her as my arms tightened around her body and I rested my chin on the crown of her head.

It had been too long since I had held her in my arms. Amara had always been a tough female with a wild heart who knew how to carry herself well. And I knew in no time she would get over this heartbreak I gave her, but I couldn’t find it in me to just ignore her.

I drove Catherine to the academy this morning so I could have a word with her, but she didn’t go to school, and Alonso told me she was supposed to drive today.

After a few hours of contemplation, I called Uncle Aeon again, and he told me Amara had stayed home and was still upset about her falling out with Catherine.

My poor sister was unaware that she was being used as an alibi instead of busting me. She was dead worried about Amara and had been ringing my ears off for whatever I did to her friend. That and my desire to make sure Amara was okay made me drive five hours to her territory — something I seldom do without thinking.

I hated leaving my territory without any valid excuse, but I wanted this fix, and I wanted us to both move on from this without ruining the friendship I was so eager to save.

"Is there something wrong with me?" She finally broke the silence between us. She wasn’t hugging me back, and although it saddened me, it was better this way. She had her hands coiling into fists resting on my chest, creating a distance between our bodies.

"No. You’re perfect, Amara. But I want you to understand, I don’t want to commit myself to anyone."

"But what if I’m okay with no commitments?"

"No." I shook my head, and my hands went to her arms as I pulled her body away from mine and caught her gaze. "Don’t ever settle for something without any commitment."

Her eyes were welled with tears, but she was holding them back from falling. "I liked you, Jace."

I swallowed, but I did my best not to show any emotions at all. "Will it be too hard for you to wait until you’re eighteen?"

"Am I not worth it? Not worth the risk? What do you want me to do so you will see me pass Amara, the girl you always follow around to make sure I don’t fall and die from all the reckless things I do?"

"Amara…"

"It’s your fault. You would always catch me and tell me what to do, even when I didn’t need it. And now that I want you to catch me, you’re running away. I need you now."

"You never needed me even before. And you don’t need me now. Always remember that you’re a badass female with a wild heart. Feminine but strong. You’re the type of female you would want to go to war with, not against. So don’t let the idea of me ruin that. Don’t let me stop you from being the Alpha Female that you were meant to be."

"If I become an Alpha, do you think you will like me more?"

"Amara," I cupped her cheeks and rested my forehead against hers. Her cinnamon breath fanned my skin. "You can be an Omega, a human, or even a demon like your cousins, and I will still like you…"

"But not the way I want you to like me."

"Two months, Amara, and you’ll be eighteen."

"And what if you’re not my mate?"

"I’m sure you will find your mate earlier than me, and you will thank me for this."

"What if I don’t want him? Will you give us a chance?"

"I need to find my mate, Amara. I won’t be giving you any false hope."

"I’m willing to give him up for you, but you can’t do the same. So I guess it’s really a no. Because you will never see me past that friendship line."

"Amara, we are just going in circles."

"I just want the truth. You say one thing, but your action says otherwise."

I scoffed but didn’t say anything.

"I don’t see Kairo, Zach, or Ledger holding my face like this. And telling me I’m just a friend. They would never do that because I am just a friend to them. And I don’t think you will do this to Cassidy or Amber."

I let go of her face as I let out a deep breath. I was getting pissed off already, but I was trying to control my outburst. I brushed my hands over my hair as I paced back and forth in front of her.

"Fine. Do you want to hear the truth? All I can offer you is friendship, nothing more, nothing less. I’ve been protecting you as much as I protected Catherine. That’s all. I apologize if it seems to you that I’m giving mixed signals. It was never my intention, and I will make sure that won’t happen again."

"Get out!" Her eyes dilated as she pointed to the door. "Get out!"

"I’m not leaving until you agree to come home with me."

"You can go to hell, and I won’t come with you! Now get out!" She turned her body around and was about to head for the door.

My hands snaked around her wrist, tugging her back so she would look at me. "If I walked out of this damn and your father asked me what happened, I would not lie to him. I will tell him everything, and it doesn’t matter anymore if he asks me to end my friendship with you, since this is already what you want!"

Her hands began ramming on my chest before she stepped back, her chest heaving as she pointed a finger at me. "Don’t you fucking dare tell my parents!"

"Embarrassed, aren’t you?"

"Fuck you"

"No, thanks!" I scoffed, and it made her glare at me with too much hatred in her eyes. "Now get your ass moving and pack your things. I’m giving you ten minutes to come down the stairs or I will tell them everything!"

"I hate you!" She grabbed a throw pillow and threw it my way, hitting the back of my head before my hand could grab the doorknob. It didn’t do anything but annoy me.

"It still wouldn’t change anything. Ten minutes, Amara. Either you go over there, or they will go up here." I opened the door and walked out, not giving her a second glance.

She would probably refuse, but there was nothing I could do at this point.

I slipped my hands into my jeans pocket as I walked down the stairs, recalling memories of me and Amara sliding down the railings before we ran off to the back of their house and into the forest.

Dad would often come here with Mom, and they would always take us, but Catherine would always cling to Mom, that’s why I was the one asked to play with Amara.

** FLASHBACK. **

Amara - 8 years old.

Jace - 10 years old.

"When I become an Alpha, I will conquer your land!" She said it at the top of her lungs as she held on to the tree branch at the top of a low tree where she was standing while pointing a long stick in my direction.