Chapter 144 : The Unknown
*Lena*
A full week had passed since Alexis was born, and as the days flew by, I began to feel a little more at ease.
But it was an odd time in Castle Drogomor. Maids were packing up my belongings into boxes and trunks while I stayed in my mom's sitting room with Maeve day in and day out, readying for my upcoming wedding.
Abigail and Elaine were making up for lost time. Xander and Adrian had been spending time in Mirage, meeting with the High Elder council about relations with Egoren going forward.
I flipped through one of the wedding magazines Maeve had brought with her, looking at the different hairstyles and makeup options. Everything seemed excessive, and I was starting to regret my decision for a large wedding instead of eloping with Xander, which he'd promised was also an option.
“We have two hundred RSVPs so far, and another hundred or so outstanding," Mom said as she paced around the room with Alexis pressed gently against her shoulder. Maeve nodded, scribbling something down on a notepad. “The photographer is booked, the kitchen has the menu finalized, the alterations have been made to Lena's dress–"
I sighed deeply, sinking deeper into the couch as I flipped through the rest of the magazine without even looking at what it said.
“Have we talked about the seating arrangements? Rowan said the Alphas of Crescent Hall and Granite Springs are having issues–"
“Their wives are sisters," Maeve corrected, twirling her pen over her fingers. “They are the ones fighting, not the Alphas."
“Well, do we seat them together, or is that just asking for trouble?"
I turned away from the conversation as Clare sat down next to me on the couch. She picked up one of the magazines before glancing at my mom and my aunt, rolling her eyes and giving me a knowing look.
“Where's Sasha today?" I whispered as I opened a fresh magazine.
Maeve's trove of wedding literature was endless, and it was currently stacked so high on the coffee table that the magazines were starting to lean over.
“She made a friend with one of the maid's daughters. They're in the kitchen making cupcakes," she said softly. “She told me today that she wants to stay here."
“In Mirage?"
“No, in the castle. She tells everyone we see that she's a princess. I think this finery is going to her head."
“Well, isn't she a princess?"
Clare didn't answer right away. There had been talk about Clare going back to Cedar Hollow to rule as Alpha, but nothing had been decided yet. Those who survived the attack on the village were scattered all over the pack lands now, but the majority of them were settling down in Mirage with no plans to leave.
Even if they did go back, there was nothing left to return to. Cedar Hollow had burned to the ground.
“She's not," Clare said simply, turning a page of her magazine and glancing at where Mom and Maeve were talking in the corner of the room. “Even if I wanted her to be… she's not. She never was. Neither was I."
“Was your older brother also Carl's–"
“No," she said quickly, interrupting me.
I knew Clare was hating every second of this conversation, but I'd been walking on eggshells with Clare since the moment I met her. I didn't have much to lose in terms of our relationship.
Clare had been hurt in a brutal way, and it was painfully obvious she had no desire to actually live a life instead of just surviving. The man who had assaulted her was dead. He was no longer a risk to her daughter.
“I don't know what happened to my mother, so don't bother asking," she said calmly, flipping another page. “And Maeve offered me an apartment, and a job as a temple attendant in Winter Forest if I want it. So don't ask about whether or not I'm going back to Cedar Hollow."
“Okay, I won't," I replied, chewing my lower lip as I turned my gaze back to Mom, who was currently rocking Alexis back and forth near the window with Maeve by her side, neither woman close enough to hear our conversation.
A hush passed over the couch, but a question burned on the end of my tongue.
“Sasha was breech," Clare said after a moment, her fingers smoothing a fold in the page she was looking at. “I delivered her myself."
“What?" I choked, turning to look at her.
Clare only raised a brow, her eyes purposefully not meeting mine. I knew Clare's powers of sight were weak at best, but her ability to feel… to sense? She was likely reading my mind without needing to see the images or hear the words passing through my subconscious.
“I hid that I was pregnant for as long as I could," she breathed. “I was terrified, but not of what my father would think. I didn't care what he thought. I cared what my pack would think of me, though. I was… I thought I could hide the pregnancy and travel with the baby far south where I wouldn't be recognized as the daughter of an Alpha. I was planning on starting a new life, somewhere where no one knew us, where he couldn't… where her father couldn't find us."
“What happened?"
“I almost died, that's what happened. My mother had been a midwife before she left us. I remembered hearing the stories of a breech twin birth where she'd delivered both of the infants safely, and saved the mother's life. I knew she had to… turn one of them, by pressing on the woman's stomach. I tried that on myself but it was too late. Sasha was born feet first, like Alexis, feet first and ready to take on the world."
“What about you?"
She glanced at me, her face draining slightly of color.
“Hale found me. I was on the edge of death. I would have welcomed it, honestly, had it not been for… hearing her cry for the first time."
“You saved Alexis's life," I whispered, the emotion behind my words nearly choking me as I held her gaze. “You saved Sasha's life, too. And now you have nothing left to run from, Clare."
“It's not about running. My life fell to pieces in Cedar Hollow. Even if I'd told the truth about what happened to me, no one would have believed it. My father blamed me for what happened; he said it tarnished our family's reputation. And he was right; it did. First, my mother left, then his daughter gave birth to a bastard child at the age of sixteen, with no clue of who the father might be. Rumors ran wild up until my father's and my eldest brother's deaths. Hale became Alpha and used his power to protect me and Sasha, but I couldn't have a life there. I couldn't be anything but the w***e they all thought I was. Cedar Hollow burning to the ground was the best thing that ever happened to me."
Her voice caught on the words, but she didn't shed a single tear.
“I won't go back–"
“I understand," I said, reaching over to her, my hand hovering above her own. I slowly clasped her hand, and she didn't pull away for several seconds.
“I can start over in Winter Forest. Hardly anyone knows me there, and those who do aren't the ones who had anything to say about me or my daughter."
“You could come with Xander and me to Egoren," I offered, but Clare shook her head, sliding her hand away from mine.
“I can't take Sasha into the unknown, not now."
My chest tightened around the word. Unknown–Clare was right about that. Despite Xander's descriptions and explanations about his home, his culture, and his people… I still wasn't entirely sure what I was walking into.
Clare heaved a breath, clearing her throat as she crossed her legs and settled back against the couch.
The conversation was over, just like that.
“Thank you for what you did for us," I said after a few moments of silence. “All of it–everything."
I could have sworn, even if just for a split second, I saw the corner of her mouth twitch into a smile.
***
Xander had his hands on the bed on either side of Alexis, looking down at her. She was fast asleep as usual, her cheeks rosy and round as her tiny chest rose and fell with each breath.
“This is all she does," he murmured, running the tip of his finger over her cheek.
Her mouth reflexively widened into a sleepy smile, but then relaxed again, her eyelashes fluttering.
“She's only a week old," I whispered as I took off my dress and hung it over the chair next to the window.
Xander watched me undress, and I gave him a shy smile as I began to turn away from him to take off the nursing bra that was holding back my incredibly massive, and pained, breasts. Everything about my body felt and looked different.
I quickly pulled a T-shirt over my head and slid into the bed as Xander watched me, a familiar look of desire flashing behind his eyes.
“What?" I murmured as he scooped Alexis into his arms and walked her over to the bassinet next to our bed.
He laid her down, his hand resting on her head for a moment.
I could have sworn I heard him praying, but to whom, I didn't know. It was the calmest I'd ever seen him, every muscle in his body relaxed even as he stood guard over our sleeping daughter.
For the first time since I'd met him, Xander was at peace.
The only light on in our room was on his bedside table. He turned it off as he slid in beside me, wrapping his body around mine. He was in nothing but a pair of boxers, and his legs were bare against mine as he settled against me, kissing me on the neck, his lips brushing over my skin.
“Xander?" I whispered, knitting his fingers in mine.
“Yeah?"
“Are we going to be… are we going to be okay in Egoren?"
“What do you mean?"
I rolled over to face him, our noses touching as I let every anxiety gripping me come to the surface.
“I'm afraid to leave my realm, my family, and my friends. I almost lost everyone I loved, and they have already lost me once. I don't know how else to explain how I feel."
“I know," he whispered, tucking a lock of hair behind my ear. “That's why I asked if your mom would come and stay with us for a while until you feel settled."
“You asked her that?"
“I asked them both to come with us, actually."
“What did they say?"
“Your mom didn't hesitate to say yes. Your dad, well, he is going to come with us, but doesn't know how long he can stay. He told me it depends on Oliver."
“Oliver?" I propped myself up on my elbow, furrowing my brow at him.
“Your dad means to make him Alpha of Drogomor," he said, running his fingers over my upper arm. “If we can find him."
Comments
The readers' comments on the novel: Sold as the Alpha King's Breeder
Yeah sorry full of crap clichés skipping chapters...
Really oh fn....off another weak heroine roll, her pack hated her, she was abused, why would she do this .... pfghhj off at another cliche novel. .... Nope...