The Accidental Wife (Emily and Julian) novel Chapter 132

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Chapter 132
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I walk inside the venue where the event is being held and my eyes instantly search for Rosie. It doesn’t take me long to find her. She looks majestic that my knees weaken at her beauty.
Her long hair is pulled back in a low ponytail, highlighting the beauty of her face. It is one of a kind. Her olive green dress perfectly hugs her body and I reminisce the fact that she was actually mine one day. I’m thankful that I got to call her mine for a while, but I’m also in pain because she is no longer mine.
I can’t believe that she is dating Everest now. He doesn’t deserve her. She is way out of his league and I honestly don’t know what she sees in him. When we invited him to the barbecue we held for her, he managed to get on everybody’s nerves, especially with his stupid comments.
“Honey, I know you still love her, but you’re staring,” Mum softly says beside me, making me dart my eyes away from the girl who still has my heart.
“I’m going to get myself something to drink,” I inform her before walking away. I need to keep myself busy to prevent myself from thinking about Rosie, but I don’t know how I can do that when she consumes every thought in my head.
Involuntarily, my eyes move towards her and I find her still standing beside her parents. She looks lost and not sure what to do. I would usually jump to her rescue, but now, I don’t know if she wants to get rescued by me. Our relationship has gotten weird and we’re standing at a strange point.
Her eyes look up and meet mine. I want to look away, but the way she smiles at me makes me unable to do so. I give her a little wave and can’t help the sense of surprise that rushes through me when I find her walking towards me.
“Hey,” she says, still smiling at me. “I feel like I know some of these people, but I honestly don’t want to socialize with them, Do you think I can hang around with you? I can surely go if you’re waiting for someone.” She rushes the last part.
I love Rosie. I love her so much, but right now, she’s giving me whiplash. I don’t know what she wants and frankly, I think she doesn’t know what she wants either.
“I’m actually waiting for someone,” I lie and the way her face falls makes me think that I deserve to be punched. “But you can stay until my friend arrives,” I quickly say. Maybe I can tell her later that my friend has cancelled.
“Are you sure?” she asks, the cheerfulness in her voice that was once there disappears.
“Positive,” I assure her. I take my drink and walk with her away from the bar. “Why didn’t you bring Everest with you?” I find myself asking. I have millions of questions that I want to ask her, but not all of them can be asked.
“He wanted to come, but I refused.” Her answer takes me by surprise. Why would she refuse? “I told my parents about him yesterday, so it didn’t feel right to introduce him to them without giving them prior notice that I started dating him.”
“Does he make you happy?” I can’t help but ask. The real question that I wanted to ask her is, does he make you happier than me?
“He… does.” The way she hesitates sets me off.
“Do you even want to be in a relationship with him, Rosie?” I blurt, taking a sip of my whisky.
“Yes,” she says. “Silas, I know that you don’t like him, but that doesn’t mean that I should also feel the same too.” She’s quick to put me in my place. I can’t believe that she is picking Everest over me. Well, of course, she is going to pick him now. What was I thinking?
You’re right. Sorry.” I monotonously say.
“Everest is a good guy, Silas,” she defends him and I just nod. “He takes me to new places and doesn’t try to force me to remember anything. He accepts that I may not remember anything.
08:32 Fri, Oct 18
Chapter 132
“And I didn’t, Rosie? I didn’t give you the acceptance you were looking for?” I can’t help but ask. Why am I being portrayed. as the villain when all that I ever wanted was her comfort?
“You didn’t, Silas,” she says in a low tone. It would have been way less painful if she had chosen to stab me in the heart. “You always talked about what we used to have and were keen on introducing me to every part of my life that I forgot! It was overwhelming.”
It takes a moment for everything she has said to sink in. Is she serious? I know I did that, but what did she expect from me when she was the one who would ask me about those two years? Wasn’t I supposed to share with her any beautiful moment we once had? Was showing her pictures and taking her to places we once visited wrong?
“I think you’re forgetting a very important part.”
“It won’t be the only thing I forget.” She shrugs.
“You didn’t say anything, Rosie. You didn’t tell me that you were fed up with talking about your past. You didn’t tell me that you wanted to try new things. Do you know what you have done, Rosie? You might have done it unintentionally, but in your head, you probably liked having Everest and me around. One of us was introducing new things to you and the other was talking to you about your past.
“You ended up choosing what’s more convenient for you and trust me, I’m not holding that against you. You get to choose whatever you want, but don’t go around and twist everything to make me the bad guy in your story, because I have never been and I never will.” This is my first time to not be able to stand being close to Rosie. She doesn’t have anything to say to me. I wasn’t aware that I had the ability to render her speechless. “I think we’re done here,” I tell her before walking away.
Why didn’t she talk to me? Why was it easy for her to choose him over me when I had always put her first? Why wasn’t I enough for her? I wish I had answers to these questions, but I don’t.
“Silas.” I stop in my place when I hear her soft voice. I take a deep breath and turn to look at her. “I’m not a bad person. I don’t know what I’m doing. I know you’re all tired of how much I’m whining, but it’s been three months and I cannot remember a single thing. I’m petrified, Silas.” The way her voice cracks breaks my heart.
When I look around me, I thank God that nobody is giving us attention. I take a deep breath and close the space between us “Don’t cry,” I whisper, and wrap her in my arms. She looks so small and vulnerable in my embrace.
“I hate that I hurt you. I’m so sorry.” She whimpers. Again, I look around me and this time, I find few people looking at us. Quickly, I take her to a secluded area to keep her away from the people’s eyes. “If I ever make you feel like an option, I truly didn’t mean it and I’m so sorry for that.” Her glossy eyes look up at me and it takes me a lot of effort to prevent myself from kissing her.
I can’t bring myself to tell her it’s okay because nothing is okay. I don’t want to lie to her. “Everything will eventually get better, Rosie,” I say, wiping her tears away. “Come on, you’re ruining your make-up.” I stroke her cheek, making her laugh a little. “I’m still here for you, Rosie. I won’t abandon you. Never,” I assure her and place a kiss on her forehead.
“I know I’m selfish, but I… I can’t lose you, Silas.” Something about her words gives me hope. Maybe she can be mine again one day.
“You won’t. I’m here for you, Rosie,” I assure her. “Be ready for our driving lesson tomorrow,” I remind her, and she nods with a small smile.
I still cannot understand how she has me wrapped around her fingers like that and I wonder if her effect on me will always
be like this.