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“All right, start the car whenever you feel ready,” Silas tells me. It took me ten minutes to get myself to get into the driver’s seat. Silas kept his word as always. He showed up at noon to help me get over my fear.
When my parents learned about that, they were ecstatic that somebody managed to convince me to start driving again. They understand that it’s a slow process, but the fact that I’m now in a car behind the wheel counts for something. We are still in our driveway, and I’m supposed to go on a ten-minute drive today, but I’m not sure if I will be able to do it or not.
“I don’t think I can do this,” I murmur, looking down. I don’t remember anything about the accident, but I do know that I came out of it without the last two years of my life. Part of me is petrified that I may lose more than what I have already lost.
“I know you can do it, but if you don’t feel ready now, we can postpone this little drive,” he tells me, giving me the freedom to decide. I stay silent, not knowing what I should do.
“It’s been three months already. I’m supposed to start driving again.” I heavily sigh, resting my head against the back of the
seat.
“Says who? The only thing you’re supposed to do is move at your own pace,” he says. Silas always makes me feel that what I’m doing is enough, but Everest always thinks that I should do more, and I don’t know who is right. I don’t understand which paced should follow.
Everest is the one who told me I should be driving again by now but I’m not going to tell Silas that. I don’t want to give him another reason to hate him.
“Rosie, I want you to remember something. You weren’t the reason behind the accident. Somebody hit you from behind. and it was their fault. You lost control because of how strong they hit you, not because you weren’t paying attention. Let that sink in,” Silas gently says.
“But what if it happens again?” I ask, sounding like an idiot.
“But what if it doesn’t happen again?” He smartly uses my logic against me, making me smile. “You can’t hold yourself back, from doing normal things due to others’ mistakes.”
I look at the start engine button and stare at it for less than a minute before finally deciding to turn the car on. I make sure that I have my seatbelt on, and the rearview mirrors are adjusted before I start driving slowly.
My heart is about to leap out of my chest and my hands are getting slightly sweaty, but I don’t feel as bad as I thought I would feel. I thought I would wind up breaking down, unable to calm myself down, but here I am, driving without shedding a single tear.
“I’m driving!” I exclaim, letting myself enjoy the feeling of being able to do something again after three months of not being able to do it.
“You’re driving! You’re doing pretty well!” Silas encourages me and my smile only grows. He sounds proud of me. I cannot believe that I’m really doing it! “Do you think you can take me for coffee? I’m really craving Spanish latte,” he suggests. I know he’s not craving anything and only wants me to drive more, but I agree. I feel like I can do it.
I’m driving slower than usual, but I’m not as slow as a snail! I look at my hands and find them not shaking, making relief take over my fast-beating heart.
“Do you think I should play some music?” Silas suggests, but I shake
my head.
“I think I’m not ready yet for any distractions. We can do it later though,” I tell him, and he nods.
I hear my phone ringing, but I ignore it, not wanting to focus on anything but driving. It dings with a few notifications after
it stops ringing and for a moment, I think there’s something urgent. However, I know that if it’s a familial matter, any of my parents would call Silas because they know that I’m with him.
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After five minutes, I reach a coffee place Silas, and I like to go to. The two of us get out of the car and I can’t help but squeal like a little kid the moment I step out.
“I did it!” 1 happily exclaim as I high-five Silas.
“I told you you could do it!” He grins,
“I wouldn’t have been able to do it without you, though,” I admit.
“No, you would have done it either way. You just needed some encouragement,” he tells me, making me feel better about myself. He has always made sure to boost my self-confidence whenever I needed him to, and this is something I absolutely adore about him.
The two of us walk inside the café and Silas orders two Spanish lattes for us. As we’re waiting for our order, again. I look at my screen and find Everest calling me.
“Hey Everest,” I say as I answer. I don’t want him to think that I’m ignoring him.
“I called you earlier, but you didn’t pick up,” he tells me.
“Yeah, sorry about that. I was driving.” I bet he’s going to be excited upon learning that.
“Driving? Did you finally do it?” Excitement fills his voice, making me smile.
“Yes! Thank to Silas,” I casually say.
“Silas.” The excitement in his voice dies.
Phone rings
“Yeah, he offered to accompany me, and I agreed,” I tell him, not knowing what the issue is. I’m not going to cut ties with Silas for Everest’s sake.
“And you didn’t think you should ask me before agreeing?” He sounds angry.
“No, because Silas is my friend. He is somebody I trust.” He needs to understand that.
“Is everything okay?” Silas mouths to me with concern etched on his face. I give him a small nod with a smile.
“He is your ex!” he snaps.
“We were friends before we started dating and our families are close, so I’m not going to stop talking to him just because we broke up and I’m now dating somebody else,” I calmly tell him.
“I can’t believe you!”
“I think we can talk when you’re ready to talk without snapping at me.” I’m not in the mood to fight. I don’t want him to ruin a happy moment for me.
“Whatever. Bye, Rosie.” He hangs up and I shove my phone into my bag.
“What’s going on?” Silas wonders, handing me my latte. I haven’t even noticed that the drinks are ready.
“Everest is mad
ar
me because we’re hanging out together,” I mutter as we walk out of the café.
“I can take you home if you want,” Silas offers. “I don’t want to cause any trouble between the two of you.”
“No, I don’t want you to take me home now. Unless, you want to go, of course. Everest needs to understand that I don’t plan on cutting ties with you because you happen to be my ex.” The mere thought of completely losing Silas makes me experience of sense of insecurity I’m not fond of.
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“I appreciate that you want to keep me in your life and trust me, Rosie, I never want to lose you too, but if you ever feel that my presence is causing you more issues than comfort, please, walk away.” I stare at him, unable to fully accept what he has just told me. I can never walk away from him.
“Are you trying to get rid of me?” I joke, attempting to lighten up the mood.
“Maybe.” He playfully smirks and I shove him as I roll my eyes.
Why am I seeing another side of our relationship after ending things with him? Why was I blind while he was trying to tell me about what we used to have?
“Up for a walk?” I wonder. I don’t want to go home. Something about spending today with him makes me happy.
“Sure,” he says. He’s wearing a grey hoodie with black sweatpants. His outfit is effortless, yet Silas has the ability to pull anything off. “How’s college?” he wonders as we amble down the street.
“Slightly exhausting, but all is good so far,” I reply. “What about you?”
“I honestly can’t wait till I graduate,” Silas says. Something about the idea of not having him with me next year doesn’t sit well with me. The selfish part of me wants to have him around at all times.
“Do you have a plan for what you want to do after graduation?” I inquire, desiring to know more about him.
“I honestly want to receive an offer from any good football team he tells me. Silas has always been a great football player and I’m certain that he is going to receive many offers; it’s only a matter of time.
“You will,” I say with certainty in my voice.
“What makes you so sure of that?” he asks with a light chuckle.
“Just a gut feeling.” I shrug.
“If this happens, I promise to get you tickets to all my games,” he tells me.
shock. “And watch you get hurt again like that one time when I was with Sabrina? Nope, I don’t think I can handle attending all of your games, but I can show up to the important ones.” I giggle as I look at him, but all I can see on his face is pure
I look at him in confusion, not understanding at first why he’s looking at me like that, and then I realize what I have just said,
I have just remembered something from those two years, and it’s related to Silas.
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