‘The sob stories, tears … games … vulnerability … fear. I saw the person I thought you were, your reputation—Nothing else. I saw someone trying to manipulate me, Cam … You wouldn’t be the first woman to use abuse as a way to make a man soften towards her.’ He looks away, almost as though he’s ashamed to utter the words to me, and it kicks me in the gut like a mule. His words slice at me like a dull knife straight through my soul, and I flinch in rage as I get exactly what he means.
He thought I was playing him, and all those times he broke me to pieces, was all an act to get under his skin.
‘Believe that I was abused, or that I was traumatised by what you did to me? Fuck you! … You have no idea what I have lived through. What men have done to me. How dare you!! HOW FUCKING DARE YOU!! And you’re a liar! If you ever really cared about me, then why did you keep pushing me until you broke me, and then stood there and let me break my heart at your feet? Why did you leave me in that hospital to rot when you thought I almost died, and try to pay me to go away, to get out of your life?’ I yell at him, enraged, overwrought and emotionally unstable all at the same time. I unclip my belt as soon as I realise we are pulling into the car park of the club already, no longer able to stand to breathe the same air as him. It must have only been minutes from here to the restaurant.
I don’t wait for him to stop either, just push open the door to jump out, not waiting for answers to my ranting when I cannot conceal the sizzling energy coursing through me. He slams on the breaks so I don’t roll out of a moving vehicle with the rapid exit I make, and we screech to a halt as my feet hit the tarmac.
‘Cam!’ Alexi yells after me, but I am already out of his car, walking off at speed, bubbling like a volcano and hating him with every single part of my soul; Tears running down my face and wounded to my core. Nothing he could have said would take away the depth of heartache I feel at his hands.
‘Cam?’ Alexi calls after me and then is drowned out by the roar of his car as he parks it at speed in the nearest space and I spin in alarm. Fear gripping me instinctively with the violent sound his engine makes and know he just sped across the park in anger.
‘WATCH OUT FOR FERAL!’ I screech, eyes scanning the lot hysterically, thoughts of him running him over and killing my little scruffy beast hit me hard, and then almost crumble as I sigh thankfully when I catch sight of a little ball of ginger fur curled up beside his food bowls from earlier; where I left him. It’s like a wash of cold water as the sheer relief sweeps through my blood.
Automatically I move to him, to protect him from the insane psycho and his overly expensive machine and pause in sixth sense terror as something grips me coldly with how he looks.
Feral is where we left him, curled up peacefully like a small ginger ball of fluff, right beside his food … except … he’s napping.
Out in the open, in daylight, exposed—something he never does.
My heart skips a beat and I completely pause. Mind numbing over as my breathing hitches in terror.
‘Cam?’ Alexi crosses the park towards me, still agitated and has that same angry tone as he catches up to me, but I hold up a hand in desperation to silence him as I edge forward and move closer to Feral. Something deep inside me telling me that this is wrong … something isn’t right. I can barely find the strength to take the steps forward. He doesn’t move or lift his head as I approach.
Alexi obeys—Falling still and quiet as he moves to me much less aggressively and comes level with me, turning to look at what I am.
Feral always senses you coming.
He always runs and hides before you get within five-feet, but he’s not doing anything except laying there as still as a statue. Nothing at all is moving, not even the little rise of his body as he breathes.
My heart starts beating out of my chest painfully, blood rushing through my ears deafeningly. All previous rage forgotten as a cold icy panic grips me inside and I move even closer, crouching slowly, slightly afraid to touch the soft ginger fur. My hands are trembling noticeably.
Alexi stops me with a hand on my upper arm that pulls me back gently, steps in front of me a little and leans in swiftly past me as he nudges him softly with outstretched fingertips, a tad roughly as though sensing what it is I think I see.
Feral doesn’t move, and somewhere inside I already know what that means. I knew the second I got near him … That eerie coldness around him that only comes with death; that same quiet aura of sucking the warmth out of the air around a body that I felt when my mother died at my feet.
My head doesn’t want to say it but my heart knows as it breaks in two, and I burst into instant heartfelt tears.
Feral’s dead … his affection this morning was his way of saying goodbye—For giving him a better end to his days where he was fed and cared for in a small way. He knew he was leaving me.
I fall apart. Tears hitting hard and my body sags weakly as I completely crumble and lose the ability to stand.
Comments
The readers' comments on the novel: The Carrero Contract - Selling Your Soul (Mafia Romance)