The Carrero Contract - Selling Your Soul (Mafia Romance) novel Chapter 133

He’s back in minutes with a freshly styled do that adds to that groomed perfection of his as he pulls his jacket on one sleeve. Body emphasised by what he’s wearing and I am instantly drawn like a magnet to look at him. My eyes scan impulsively, immediately to the one thing that stands severely out of place, and causes an instant nervousness deep down in my gut; A tight chokehold on my stomach.

‘Why are you carrying tonight?’ I nod towards the holster under his armpit, face dropping as seriousness hits me to dampen my libido. His gun on show and he just ignores me and continues putting on his jacket smoothly to cover it up. Something in my stomach swirls with unease, nerves rising as suspicion hits me and I move closer to him.

‘Alexi? You never carry when you’re going to dinner. Why are you taking a gun?’ Sixth sense has all my alarms firing and my palms get instantly sweaty as nerves eat away at me. Something deep down alerting me to this one detail and I can’t shake it away; A deep achy unease of something being wrong.

I have watched him come and go from this club, been with him at dinners, parties and such … he NEVER carries when he goes to these things. That’s why he has security with him instead.

‘Sometimes I do.’ He avoids my eyes, voice strained and husky as he tries to dismiss me and I know it’s a lie. I can tell. I don’t know how but I do. In all the months of knowing him, never being able to second guess when he’s honest, yet right now, I just know. It kicks me low down with a fresh pang of pain.

‘Is Mico going with you?’ my voice is higher, hints of anxiety peeking up as I get more internally hysterical, and he is doing his best to avoid me, dodging me as I follow him around like a persistent child. He walks away from me to use the mirror for his final check on appearance as he rights his jacket and buttons it up carefully.

‘Of course,’ he answers flatly and that just tips me over. The complete obvious in what he just said.

Mico is going with him!

Mico is ALWAYS armed for this reason. Meaning he has no need of this unless his gut is telling him otherwise. Something in him telling him he needs extra protection tonight.

I swear everything inside of me turns to instant stone and grips me coldly. My lip trembles as I am hit full force with a wave of gut-wrenching concern for his safety, so strong I can almost taste it.

‘What kind of dinner? With who? Where?’ I question like the Gestapo, getting more and more worked up, my voice straining with emotion as he tries to get around me and sighs as I block his path. Getting in his way and hindering his progress.

‘You’re making me late.’ He says calmly, a little hint of a sigh but not annoyance. Alexi isn’t getting pissed with my behaviour, which means I have hit on something truthful and it only serves to make me worse. He moves me with gentle hands on my shoulder, but I grip onto one of them as he goes to leave, and cling on tightly.

‘Alexi stop it … You’re scaring me … You don’t carry a gun, EVER, when you go out to these things. If you feel something that tells you that you need it, then don’t go … stay with me. Stay here.’ I beg him, tears hitting me from nowhere, terror clutching at my insides cruelly; twisting my guts all up into knots with danger bells ringing in my head deafeningly. I can barely catch my breath.

Alexi just stops and turns his eyes to mine, slowly inhaling and pulls me close to him with a sense of complete calmness. Facially against him, so our body heat meets, but I’m too wound up to get any other reaction. His whole manner is that of the guy who cuddled me after finding Feral—softly, softly.

I don’t trust it one bit.

‘I know what I’m doing. This is my world.’ He leans in and kisses me on the forehead, unexpectedly tender and lingers for a second, while I breathe him in and close my eyes at the forbidden touch between us. He throws me completely off guard and I can’t stand it anymore, eyes flashing open as my brain connects the dots with a more intense agony.

It’s too weird … it’s too much like a ‘goodbye’ for my liking and I don’t let him go; both hands on his wrist as he tries to walk out and I hold with all my might. I dig my heels in and don’t care if I am acting like an insane person. I won’t let him walk out that door. Every instinct is telling me he shouldn’t leave.

‘You’re not going. I won’t let you … in fact … if you go … if you leave … I’ll never forgive you. Ever! I’ll pack my bags and run away, I’ll go somewhere you can never find me and screw your stupid club.’ I start crying. Words tumbling out in a rambling mess of shaking voice and trembling limbs, gripping on with everything I have in me as he tries to pry my hands from him without hurting me. Panicking while Alexi looks surprised at my venomous threats and stops in his endeavours to get me off him. He swallows noticeably as he returns that pale, calm gaze to my face and stops me fighting with a gentle stroke across my face, moving hair from my damp cheek.

‘Careful baby, I might think you care.’ He smiles softly, a gentle look in his eyes as he traces a tear from my skin with his thumb and wipes it away carefully. Distracted by him, he manages to slide his arm out of my hold and I just shake my head desperately.

It calms my internal chaos for just a fraction of a moment; enough that he manages to get space between us while I’m stunned at the tenderness of his action. Then fear grips me as he turns and walks away quickly, knowing he needs to go before I grab him again. He moves fast and doesn’t look back.

‘Alexi, don’t …’ I croak, voice cracking as I impulsively run after him into the hall, he walks right into the open lift before turning and stopping me from following him with a raised palm. He looks tense, not angry or agitated, just pleading, with an expression that makes me want to wrap myself around him and never let him out of my sight.

‘Trust me. I’m coming back.’ It’s all he utters, and I stand sobbing and clinging to myself, hugged by my own arms which aren’t comforting. The door slides shut between us and I start to hyperventilate as it all comes crashing in on me. That sense of complete emotional breakdown because he’s not listening and I feel like everything is spiralling out of my control.

I run to the button and press it hard, over and over in a bid to get it open once more, or one of the two lifts to open up. All I can see is his one going down on the counter under the button. With every second my internal angst intensifies. I can’t breathe properly, gasping and panting as I shiver and shake.

‘Don’t you fucking dare, Alexi!!!’ I scream at the chrome doors, blinded by my tears, willing him to listen, even if he’s already gone.

‘Don’t leave me!’ I sob as I claw at them in a bid to open them manually, but they still take an age.