He would never let them insult me or hurt me. That safety and security I get from him is an instant balm as the warmth of his body flows through at our point of contact and calms me instantly.
Alexi doesn’t visibly react to my moving to him, but his foot slides towards me and he rests his knee against mine as a subtle message that he feels my unease. It’s a small tiny movement but I understand its intention, and I’m immediately soothed with knowing he’s as in tune to me as I am to him nowadays. He’s reassuring me that he’ll always fight my corner.
“I can’t help that I had a natural aptitude where you didn’t. Some of us are more capable of handling things. Now shut up and focus on why I’m here. I’m losing patience and you don’t want me pissed … younger cousin I may be, but I won’t hesitate to remind you who the fucking boss is.”
Alexi doesn’t waste time in acting it either. He’s asserting his authority and the energy is building in him rapidly. I can feel it coming from every pore, psyching him up to act should he need to show them who is boss. That level of anger and cool control combined sends shivers down my spine and even I sit up and take note. Poised like a panther, hostility brewing and a complete lack of care that we are in a crowded restaurant. Alexi is confident, this hotel is partially Carrero owned, and he doesn’t have to be so careful in his behaviour here. Money can make so much go away.
The two men tense, hold their gazes on his face, turning a tad whiter in complexion and I jump when a glass is swung in front of me from my other side surprisingly.
“I’ll drink to that,” Gino chimes in, shoving the vessel a little too close to my face to let me know I’m being shielded from both sides, and eyeballs the cousin as intensely as his twin is doing. A little backup and visually saying he will join in the fucking up of these men should they continue to pursue it. Gino may not be a cold sadist like his brother, but I don’t doubt he has enough of the cray-cray gene to make an impact and he wouldn’t let his brother battle on his own.
They shared a womb after all and came from a single cell.
I realise that coming here with only these two was maybe not wise if there is animosity between parts of their family that he never warned me about. Surely, he should have brought backup if he expected something like this. He told Mico and Jackson to stay put along with all his other escorts so we could have a free weekend with no third wheels. He said he wanted this to feel like a weekend getaway, rather than just business.
I thought all the Carreros were a united front with a wealth of loyalty and respect, not a simmering feud between these men. I find it odd that Alexi wants to come here and buy a casino to retire in, with these men as his support system. He must be insane.
Rob loses all venom instantly and drops his eyes to the table; his posture immediately slackens, and he sighs heavily before glancing at his brother and lifting his head once more.
Obvious defeat and withdrawal.
Thank God.
“I’m sorry. Forgive me. I talk out of turn and I mean no disrespect. I’m somewhat shocked after the last girl seemed to be so stereotypical for what you date.” He is backtracking, remembering who he is fucking with and relenting. Not as dominant as he likes to make out—all hot air and no spark—bark without a bite.
I physically breathe out heavily with relief.
“The reason the last girl isn’t here today is that she bored me quickly, as do all nodding obedient little doorsteps with no backbone. There’s no challenge if there is nothing to tame,” he adds in a less dangerous even tone. An obvious insult at his cousins’ choices of wives and their relationships in general, and I feel a little smug at his sarcastic reply.
High five, Alexi.
I have to say, though, his sentiment is a revelation to hear. I always assumed he wanted submission and obedience in a woman. It kind of explains why he fell for me. I have always been far too rebellious for my own good. Even afraid of him I still stood up to him occasionally.
“You disrespect my woman again … I will shoot you in the fucking face. I may be your blood, but I’m your boss first and foremost and it will do you well to remember that.” Alexi snaps, anger breaking loose just enough to get the point across, and both men sit like stone with zero reaction. Chastised and remembering he has the skill and means to carry through on a threat like that.
“Understood.” It’s George who talks first and then Rob nods and holds out a hand to Alexi in a show of submission. Shaking his hand to end this weird and tense dinner fight. It may have been brief but I feel like it lasted for long minutes. Alexi watches their united hands for a moment as he grasps it firmly and then tightens his grip when Rob moves to release it and sit back.
That moment of confusion passes over Rob’s expression in an alarming second as his own knuckle and wrist pales with the force they are being squeezed free of circulation. Alexi likes subtle intimidation and a show of aggression in a small way. Tyler didn’t fare well with a tie choke, so I assume this is meant in the same way. I hold my breath and try to pretend I’m not looking by staring at my dinner settings, but I can still see him from the corner of my eye. Heart rate elevating.
“She will be my wife one day, and she will stand as my right hand. If you value your place in our empire, I suggest you apologise to her and show the same respect you show our mothers. You know the wife of the head holds the same power of command and will have a foothold over your head soon enough.” Alexi’s own knuckles whiten as he applies real force and the grimace on Rob’s face suggests he is in crushing pain. He nods, profusely and stammers at me sloppily.
“I’m sorry, Miss … umm … Walters. I … umm … mean no disrespect. My apologies.”
I’m too distracted by what Alexi just said to really take in his shitty apology and I just nod distractedly and offer him a vague smile. My brain losing interest and latching onto something that sparked my inner devious. I forget tense, anxious and uneasy and zoom right into some little words.
“Sure whatever. No harm no foul.” I mutter half-heartedly, waving a dismissive hand and forgetting my nerves completely.
Alexi lets him go and he yanks his arm back to rub his tender digits while Alexi sits back smoothly as though nothing happened. Mr cool and controlled once more and carefully smooths his shirt and tie out to regain that suave composure. Didn’t even break a sweat.
My brain, however, is running over two points. Alexi reckons we will marry … okay, not that much of a shock considering he has now brought it up a couple of times today and the day I do, if I do, I have the same power in his family as he does.
That’s crazy.
The command thing … I never knew that the women in this family also gained a title, so to speak, when married to the boss. It makes sense. If anything happened to Alexi, such as prison or kidnapping then I would assume control in his absence. I had heard of this in the past with mob families and now I feel stupid for not even thinking it.
If I marry him, I become Mrs King Carrero—Queen Carrero, and I have a say in what happens to bitches who try to end my life.
If Alexi couldn’t give a command, then I wonder if I could.
I blink at him, that dreadful Marianne running through my head and I falter for a second about whether his men would follow my instruction and deal with her if I married him this weekend in Vegas. The clogs turning, the wheels moving, and I can see an answer to his family blocking him from making a move. He can’t issue the kill command … but I could.
I could literally end all of this so easily, for both of us. Take away the threat and get some control back.
The thought crosses my mind and I immediately push it away again as stupid and impulsive. It’s a manipulation for an outcome, and I shouldn’t even think of doing it for that reason.
I should want to marry him because I love him. At this point in our journey, we are clawing at some honesty to build something real, and here I’m deviously thinking of a plan to use what he is to me for my own ends.
“Alexi’s father wants to reunite his family and well, Lex always wants to make him proud. The cousins are more willing to come back than their father is, and this is a way of mending bridges after they picked Alexi over Rob to be next in line. Alexi is a good man; he will do as his father asks and try to bond them once more. Family is everything to him, but he is not stupid. He knows there is a possibility of betrayal but he likes to keep his enemies close so he can predict their next move.” She glances around to make sure no one is listening.
“Giving them a position of power for a few years and rebuilding something to work on while keeping a watchful eye. That’s the Alexi I know. God, I’m so glad I was an only child and have absolutely no relatives still living that bother with me. Family politics is way too restrictive and exhausting.” I sigh heavily and relax a little as her hold on me falls away.
“I know none of them well at all and the men give me a very bad vibe. Not all Carreros have the same moral code. There are a couple of branches who have very dark hearts.” Alessandra looks nervous and lowers her voice to an almost inaudible sound and I sense real fear in the depths. I forget, that despite her brassy ways, she has led a relatively sheltered life and probably never really brushed the darker side of her future family. She doesn’t know men in Alexi’s world and will never see that ugly side of life. Gino would never allow her to.
“I think you call that the vibe of a wife beater. They seem pretty controlling and anti-strong woman if you ask me.” I nod towards the bathroom door with a toss of my hair and sassy little chin lift. Despising the cowering doorsteps in the midst.
“They are old school, much like many Italian men in this family. The older generation sees the women as nothing more than child bearers and servants. These women are what they like in a wife—submissive and docile. Alexi wouldn’t allow anyone who hits their woman to work for him, so I assume it’s not how it appears.”
“I suppose. For all his scary and hostile, Alexi is not a woman beater.” I sigh with major adoration and Alessandra grins at me from under thick lashes and beautiful deep dark eyes. Not missing one beat of affection in my tone.
“You are both so beautifully in love. Alexi is complicated, but since he met you, I see more of his softer side coming back. He used to be such a sweet boy but over the years he hardened so much, became so cold and distant. I see him again when you are by his side.” She touches my arm softly, a gentle moment from someone with a deep affection for my devil. She has known him a long time and I’m touched by her genuine affection for him.
“If you had told me that a few weeks ago, I would have laughed and called you a liar outright, but now … I can believe it. I’m seeing a completely new side to him lately and I can almost forget who he can be at times,” I admit quietly. Still bowled over when I stop and really think about it. Looking back now it all seems like a blurry dream and a man who never existed. His actions fading the past away into nothing, the longer I’m by his side.
“Alexi needs someone who understands all sides of him and their necessity to exist. Don’t try to change him too much. He has a very important role to play and that hard edge of his keeps him safe, keeps all of us safe. He needs to be loved, dark side and all, no exceptions.”
She knows way more than she makes out and I smile at her knowingly. Hearing her loud and clear.
God bless her clever little heart.
“I know. I don’t plan on changing him, just the parts I have to live with.” I assure her, understanding what she means in every word.
It’s because it’s what I need too.
Unconditional love from someone who knows your worst and just accepts it for what it is. No apologies, no accusations or harbouring grudges for the scars we bear. We get each other and we love each other without limits.
“Now come on before they wonder why we are delayed. They will be whispering about us, huh, Bambino? Think we are all lovey together. Kissy kissy!” Alessandra laughs, that hearty husky, sexy way she has, all heavy Italian, and I smile at her joke. Not that I would turn down getting one on one with her if I was drunk enough. She’s hot and I appreciate a girl who can do things men would never think of.
Alessandra yanks on my wrist and leads me into the bathroom to grace the company of our silent, feeble dinner guests.
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