The Mates of Monsters novel Chapter 12

"Look who's here," Helena announces when she hears David enter the house.

I lift my head from the counter and drop the cloth from my forehead. She takes the cooled thing from me then peers into the hallway. "We are in here," she calls to him.

I bite my lip and dread the second he appears in the archway. I don't know what he's thinking after last night, and if Helena weren't here cooking me dinner, I would be safe in my bedroom. I'm sure the last thing he wants is to come home after a long day just to hear about my headache. How could my head hurt? All I've done is wake up and listen to Jeremy talk.

Helena comes back in with David just behind her. She points to me and says, "Brigette isn't feeling well, aren't you? It's her head."

If I could, I would jump into the pit that's forming in my gut.

"Oh, it's actually not so bad anymore," I lie and struggle to look at him. "I'm sure I'll be just fine. Nothing to worry about."

"She's been lying there for thirty minutes," Helena tells him. "I told her to rest but she's too hungry to sleep."

My mouth opens but David speaks first, asking, "Is that right?"

"Stubborn one, this one. Why doesn't she sleep well? Look at her, she's exhausted."

David comes around the counter as I say, "You know, Helena, it might be genetic. I have a family of terrible sleepers; paralysis, apnea, insomnia, sleepwalking—the whole nine yards."

"Where does it hurt?" David asks as he stands behind me.

I turn in my seat and peer up at him. "I'm fine, really."

"Well, I best be going. Everything is ready, so please help yourselves. For once nothing is going in the fridge," Helena ponders as she prepares to leave. David walks her out, and while I'm alone in the room, I look over the meal she's made.

When he comes back, we serve ourselves and sit in the dining room, and once again I'm under the pretty chandelier. My eyes are down this time, consumed by my plate.

"So you canceled my self-defense lesson."

David nods. "I did. I moved it to next week, after Alpha Nicodra's visit."

"Why?" I ask. "I was fine to do it today."

"After last night, I thought you would want some extra time to rest."

I sit back in my seat and set my fork down. "About last night, you know, I was just sleep-deprived, that's all. I slept, so don't worry about me needing extra time."

David sets down his utensils as well, but just before he speaks, I say, "We don't have to talk about it. We can just pretend like it never happened."

"I don't agree," he says, his elbows on the table and hands clasped together. My gaze lingers on his hands. "I need you to explain to me why you need to distance yourself, why you don't want a mate."

My shoulders drop. "And if I can't?"

"If you can't provide a plausible reason, then I think we have some things to work on."

I smile a little to myself, a sad little smile. "A plausible reason, huh?" I take a breath and look to the side. "You're a good man, David, really. I see why you're an Alpha now.

"You're good at these things. Obviously neither of us have had a mate before, but you seem to have experience with this," I ramble. "And I feel bad. I feel this overwhelming want for you to be happy, but all I do is waste your time. I screwed you over, or hey, maybe the goddess did. Either way, you're the victim here."

"Brigette—"

"But I was screwed over too—by her. I had my plans. I knew what I was going to do, and how I was going to live my life, and that's all impossible now. So no, I can't give a good reason as to why I am the way I am. There might be one that I'm not aware of yet, but this wasn't supposed to be my life. I don't know how to handle any of this; I never wanted to have to handle this."

"How about we start with your lack of proper sleep," he suggests. "Because I'm sure everything is much harder when you're exhausted."

I watch him closely. "I-I don't—I sleep alone, David. I always have and—"

"You always will?"

"Yes. Believe me when I say it isn't just you, it's anyone. I would behave the same if my mate were anyone else."

"And with all your plans and restrictions aside, what do you want?"

I shake my head. "You know you don't have to ask. You know. Despite other's disbelief, I do feel the bond."

My eyes fall again as my body grows warm. It feels as if a spotlight has been aimed down at me, but the last thing I want is to fess up under his steady gaze. I take a breath and push my seat back.

"I know this is difficult," he says before I stand, "but you don't have to sacrifice everything you wanted. If you want to visit your family and friends, you can. They are welcome to come here as well. If you want to travel, you can. I am willing to give you freedoms I'm sure others would not."

"I know," I say and hesitate for a moment. "It's just—m-maybe that isn't the main issue anymore. It's not my dreams I'm worried about, it's us."

David's hand forms into a fist on the table. "I want you, Brigette."

"What? You're worried that I'll never let myself want you back? I'm scared because you're all I want, no matter how hard I try to convince myself otherwise."