The Silent Alpha novel Chapter 79

*** Trigger Warning: Physical and emotional child-abuse ahead*** 

***Zanet**

 It feels strange to see the man I've feared for so long kneel before me, trembling like all the times I stood before him while I recited my poems.

But even as he bleeds, even as he sits at my mercy, I still see the look of disgust flicker in his eyes when I speak to him for the first time in almost 20 years.

"H-Hello, father," I snarl, my fists clenching at my sides as I fight to contain my anger.

How can he hate his own son so much!? Around me, the Scarlett Haven wolves gawk at me, unable to believe I just called their Alpha, ‘father’.

"You’re....You’re no son of mine,"

Sebastian pants, his brown eyes turning blue as the wolf within takes over.

"You’re nothing more than a weak, pathetic-" I swing my arm back, punching him in the jaw and nearly knocking him flat on his back before he can finish his sentence.

"E-Enough!" I growl, my father’s mouth clamping shut while his eyes widen in shock that my commands work on him.

"T-that’s enough! Y-you think y-you’re so strong and so t-tough? W-well look at y-you now, father! Wh-what good is y-your strength now?"

"How dare you speak to me that way!"

Sebastian roars.

"y-you have silenced m-me all of my life.Y-you do not get to silence m-me before my own p-pack!"

"Your pack?" He scoffs.

The Ravenstone wolves growl at his disrespect, proving that they are now loyal to me.

"My p-pack," I repeat.

"De-despite how little y-you think of me, not only did I-I find a p-pack that accepts m-me as I-I am, but I-I also managed to ou-outlive m-my replacement."

Sebastian laughs and opens his mouth to speak only to be silenced by a slap to the face as Grayson takes over.

"Did I say you could speak?"

Grayson roars, Sebastian’s eyes widening in shock at Grayson’s confidence.

A cold amused smile curls on Sebastain’s lips.

"Pack?" he laughs.

"The man who stands beside you killed your mother and your brother and yet you proudly show your loyalty to him," my father scoffs.

"H-he didn’t k-kill Jonathan-"

That's when I see it, the flicker of fear in his eyes when I mention my dead brother.He's hiding something...Lowering my walls, I allow the river of thoughts to flow between us.He can’t know about Jonathan.

There’s no possible way he would know! I hear him say to his wolf.

"W-what don’t I know?" I ask, my father stiffening with surprise that I know what he’s thinking.

"What?" he asks, bemused by my question.

"I -I said, 'W-What don’t I-I know about Jonathan?"

I repeat, this time taking a menacing step forward.My father tries to crawl back but winces when he tries to move his legs.

"W-What don’t I-I know about Jonathan?" I snarl, dread settling in the pit of my stomach.

My father stares back defiantly at me, refusing to speak so I take matters into my own hands.

Closing my eyes, I listen in to his subconscious, following the voices in his memories.

A coldness envelops me in the darkness before a bright light blinds me for a moment.

Like a movie projection, Sebastian’s memories begin to unfold on the dock in front of him for all to see.

Scarlett Haven and Ravenstone wolves alike fall silent to watch, allowing me to focus on the many rivers of thought trying to drown me.

In the first memory I find, all I see is Sebastian sitting at his desk, staring at a hairbrush in his hand.He does not use it, just carefully caresses it for a few moments before stuffing it into a drawer and returning to his work.

For a moment, he almost looks human...until he carefully hides all his pain behind a mask of stone.I dig a little deeper, unlocking another memory where my father berates Wyatt for questioning him.

"Zane will not take the title because he doesn't have what it takes to look his opponent in the eye and lead his soldiers in war," he snarls.

"He will always be weak...He’s useless...I showed mercy to him as a favor for Elenore.He was her son, but he was never mine."

Despite the venom in his voice as he says those things, I feel a smile curl on my face and a sense of relief wash over me as I realize something amazing.

His words no longer hurt me and I am now free of the chains that bound me to him.We are not family, just two strangers at war.

I continue scouring his memories, stumbling upon memory after memory of him ignoring the cruelty of his own pack against Agnes and I.I travel back many years until I find myself seeing the night of my mother’s death through his own eyes.I stand back and watch my mother leave the car to grab a snack for me, trailing behind Sebastian as they enter the King’s party.

Together they greet guests and slowly make their way towards the snack bar, smiling and laughing like the perfect couple.

To an outsider, they look like your average, happily married Alpha and Luna, but on the inside, I know my mother was screaming.

"’I’m leaving you," my mother murmurs as she grabs a plate of food for me.

"And I’m taking my baby with me."

For many years, I have wondered why my mother never left Sebastian, believing perhaps their bond was just too hard to break free from.

After meeting Talia and our pup, I’ve come to understand the fear of someone hurting your child.I was hidden away partially for fear of me being hurt by Ravenstone.

Perhaps my mother feared I would be hurt without Scarlett Haven’s protection...just like Jonathan.

A sense of pride washes over me as I recognize my mother’s strength to choose me over her pack and title.

It could not have been an easy decision to walk away.

"I’ll take the things that I need and nothing more," she adds quietly.

"And don’t worry, I don’t expect any of your money to help me raise him.You never treated him like a son anyways, so why start now?"

I see the anger seething in Sebastian’s brown eyes and he walks away, my mother turning back in the direction of the car, only to be pulled into a conversation with a pack of Lunas.

Not long after, the attack begins and as the memory drifts away, I hear the most blood curdling scream, a scream that both shatters my heart and fills my soul with rage.

"Sebastian! Sebastian, help me! Help me!" my mother screams, but Sebastian only turns the other cheek and runs in the opposite direction, jumping on a Ravenstone wolf and tearing out his throat.

I stop the projection, unable to understand howSebastian could abandon his mate when she called his name.

"y-you heard her scream," I mumble, fighting back the angry tears that so desperately want to escape my eyes.

"S-she mind-linked y-you for help...and y-you left her..."

My voice trails off as I try to contain my rage.

All these years of suffering without my mother...could have ended had Sebastian only protected his mate like he promised to the day he married her.I could have lived a good life with just my mom somewhere far from all the wars and abuse.I could have learned to be happy with myself...but Sebastian robbed me of that beautiful life.

Sebastian stares back emotionlessly, not an ounce of regret for what he did to my mother.

"She was Wyatt’s responsibility,"

Sebastian retorts in a low snarl.

"Besides, who are you to judge me? You stand with the man who ordered her death.You are no better than me.You’re just a spineless-"

Grayson pushes through to the surface, taking over control as I process my rage.

"Push the bullets in further!"

Grayson commands, Sebastian watching in horror as his hands move involuntarily towards his bleeding wounds.

"What- No! No!"

He says through gritted teeth, attempting to disobey the command but failing, his fingers plunging into the wounds to push the bullets in further.

"Fuuuuuuuck!" he growls with strained agony, blood pouring from the open wounds.

"Areal Alpha doesn’t scream,"

Grayson sneers, Sebastian’s face seething with rage and humiliation.

"Areal Alpha never shows weakness.Isn't that what you always say to me, Father?"

Sebastian growls in response, his breaths ragged as he holds back his screams the further he pushes in the bullets.

"Enough," Grayson snarls, taking a step back to let me regain control.

When I face the man again, I get down on one knee so that our eyes meet.

"I-l am nothing like y-you," I whisper in a calm rage through clenched teeth.

"And I-I never will be." I close my eyes, once again finding myself in the depths of my father's memories.

Many are cruel and vile, but I stumbled upon one I have no memory of myself.

"You call this an heir?" my grandfather, Alexander, snarls as he looks down at me.

"It can’t even speak."

Four-year-old me trembles in the presence of the old Alpha, his face contorted in disgust and pity.

"He has a name," my mother snarls, pushing me behind her to shield me from my grandfather’s wrath.

"You would do well to teach that b***h of yours how to address an Alpha," my grandfather snarls.

"Unless you want me to do it for you."

There is terror in Sebastian’s eyes and a twitch in his hand, and I make a realization.He feared his father...just like I feared him.He hides it well behind an emotionless face, storming over to my mother and slapping her cheek.

My mother yelps as the sting burns across her face but she keeps her body in front of me protectively.

"You may speak only if you are spoken to," Sebastian growls, turning to face his father.

"I apologize for my wife's behavior." My grandfather only grunts in response, an unamused look on his face.

"Make sure it never happens again."

"Yes sir,"