James took the diaries from my bedroom. He said I can't read them anymore. He put them in the library and locked the door and moved the shelf in front of it and told me to stay away. He said he was going to call the doctor but I begged him not to. I told him that if he did, I would leave. I was emotional at the time.
I still have my books and my music and my mother, and I talk to her every night now. I don't care about our disagreements anymore. She doesn't know about what I did, though. If she did, she would drag me back home.
I eat all of my meals with James or Gail and Theresa. I assume he told them so they can keep an eye on me. I shower with the door open and one of them sits in my bedroom as I do so. If I want to shave, they fetch a razor. One of them is always in the kitchen. They don't talk about sad things anymore, only positive things. I want them to stop.
James spends more time with me now, and his father hasn't left. James told his father about me and didn't tell me how he reacted. His father helps with the pack a bit, working while James is with me. I feel like I'm holding him back. I feel guilty, but I do enjoy spending time with him. It's the only good thing coming out of this. He stays in the mornings. I wake up with him.
"Good morning," I hear him mumble as he shifts and rolls over, facing me. I'm always awake before him.
The sun is just beginning to rise and the walls are coated in warmth. His hair is messy and I comb through it with my fingers. "Good morning."
"How are you feeling today?"
"Better," I tell him honestly. "Ever since I stopped reading the diaries I've been feeling better."
"Good," he says, moving to get up, but I grab onto him.
"Not yet. I like these moments."
James settles back down. "Well, we can talk about my father coming for dinner then. He wants to meet you."
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