Werewolf Compilations novel Chapter 123

He moves away from me, running his hand through his hair before swiping up the vase on the coffee table and throwing it at the wall. It shatters and I jump back, staring at the water and fresh flowers and glass on the floor, and the splash on the wall that slowly drips down to the mess. Gail always puts flowers in the vase. "James!" I shout, moving to the mess but he holds me back.

He curses to himself, clearly in an inner conflict. "Stay away from the glass."

I obey but don't let it go. I grab him and make him look at me. Before I can speak he says, "You know I would do anything for you, Rae. You know that, don't you?" I nod. "I just, I need you to—to stay alive, Rae. Alright?"

"Okay."

He takes a deep breath.

"I'm sorry you killed your father."

James gives me a look, a sad look that I've never seen from him. It holds grief. "It's alright. You're okay."

"I'm sorry," I say again, and he holds me again. He squeezes as if he needs to absorb me. "I'm sorry, James. I'm so sorry."

We lay in bed together for the night, not sleeping just laying. I fear that his father will come for me in my dreams, and James fears dreaming of it, of killing him again. James doesn't tell me where the body went, and I don't mention the diaries. I don't tell him his father's last words. He shouldn't read her pain. He shouldn't read of them drifting apart and the eventual hatred that will suffocate her. I am no hypocrite, I will never read them myself either. I know the effects of those books.

I do wonder, though. How much hatred do you have to feel towards your mate to be able to kill them? An incomprehensible amount. I wonder how I became so inadequate in his father's mind to the point where he must get rid of me. Or maybe he didn't see me. Maybe he saw his mate. Maybe he was reliving his past. It's frustrating to never know.

It's hard knowing that we'll have to move on from such an event so quickly. I can't live out the rest of my days thinking and fearing over the one day I almost died. James cannot grieve his father's death and the truth of his mother's while needing to run a pack. After this night, after our hours of holding each other, the shock must end. This is the time when I become a leader and where James realizes his true position. This is where we move on, forever only having a few hours. But I think it will be easier than I predict. There is still so much that needs to happen, so much that will distract us.